I love my husband. Dearly. Like, to infinity and beyond and stuff. But man, sometimes the crap that comes out of his mouth just leaves me flabbergasted. I've learned over the years to look beyond the ACTUAL words to the intent of the words. Recently we were having a phone conversation and he said one thing but meant something else. Instead of just getting all pissed and hurt and harboring resentment - which I admit to doing on more than one occasion - I said, "I know you didn't mean to say what you said but it still hurt my feelings." Of course he explained that he didn't mean what it sounded like and didn't mean to hurt my feelings. And we moved on.
But sometimes? There's just no overlooking things.
Like this morning - listen, I'm in a boatload of pain over here. Migraines, my pelvis is separated, my tailbone is killing me, I'm 400 months pregnant and chasing kids all over creation while working and taking care of the house and my BP is high. (Oh, yeah, and baby day has been moved to the 20th instead of the 10th due to hospital policy.)
I am a basket of joy wrapped in the cellophane of sunshine and light.
Anyway. So we were talking about someone else that has to have a medical procedure and I was commenting on how patient her husband was going to have to be because he wasn't going to be getting any for a long, long time. We laughed together - good times. Rob commented that her husband was definitely feeling the pain, too.
Then he says...
"Your body is my body so I feel what you do."
*cough cough*
Come again?
What about if someone sticks a needle into his brain over and over while flashing a strobe light in front of his eyes?
Walking up and down the stairs, repeatedly, while carrying 20 (uhm ok fine..30) extra pounds strapped to the front of him while squeezing a ball between his legs?
Maybe he could go ahead and get hit by a bus right before I give birth - but don't die! And only get Tylenol for his pain.
Or perhaps he could push an entire watermelon, through his anus, in one piece after his body works REALLY hard to expel it.
No?
Well. THEN we can talk about him feeling the pain I feel.
Seriously.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Free iPad!!!
Want to win a free iPad?
If you have a Facebook page simply cast 5 votes for Mount Ellis Academy in the Kohl's Cares contest. Kohl's is giving away $5000,000 to EACH of the top 20 schools. Mount Ellis is a small christian school here in Bozeman and their sewer system is old and failing. The money from this grant could help to replace it and help keep the school open and running! We're number 20 right now and NEED to stay in the top. So if you wouldn't mind throwing 5 votes our way, we'd be grateful!
Then you can enter to win an iPad through midnight tomorrow by checking this out: http://www.onyxium.com/
EDIT: If you just do a search for Mount Ellis, it will pull up two results. The one you want is Mount Ellis ACADEMY not the elementary. Thank you!!
If you have a Facebook page simply cast 5 votes for Mount Ellis Academy in the Kohl's Cares contest. Kohl's is giving away $5000,000 to EACH of the top 20 schools. Mount Ellis is a small christian school here in Bozeman and their sewer system is old and failing. The money from this grant could help to replace it and help keep the school open and running! We're number 20 right now and NEED to stay in the top. So if you wouldn't mind throwing 5 votes our way, we'd be grateful!
Then you can enter to win an iPad through midnight tomorrow by checking this out: http://www.onyxium.com/
EDIT: If you just do a search for Mount Ellis, it will pull up two results. The one you want is Mount Ellis ACADEMY not the elementary. Thank you!!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Ya Big Boob
You know you've been married for a while when this conversation takes place:
Me: "Potter - if you go clean up the yard I'll let you touch my boobs later."
Rob: "Really? Ok."
That right there? True love.
Me: "Potter - if you go clean up the yard I'll let you touch my boobs later."
Rob: "Really? Ok."
That right there? True love.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Sex Ed, Revisited
After the last post on the subject I'd been thinking of doing a follow up anyway but hadn't. Yesterday something else set me off and I decided it was time to revisit it. If you haven't read the last post and comments - I would recommend that you do - they're all good and worth reading!
Quite a few of you were just as shocked as I was with the proposal that I referenced. I dunno how many of you actually READ the proposal (skip to page 45) but my biggest beef was with this:
In 5th and 6th grade: Understand that sexual intercourse includes but is not limited to vaginal, oral, or anal penetration; using the penis, fingers, tongue or objects.
Based on the comments from my last post - let me assure you, my reaction is not Knee Jerk. I fully believe in Sex Education. I also fully believe that teaching a kid to put a condom on a banana is NOT sex education. I think Sex Ed needs to be age appropriate and scientifically based.
Because I'm running out of time (the kids are at the park! All 9 of them!) I am going to c/p MY thoughts and comments from another conversation I have been having on the topic.
Today on the John Tesh radio show he read a "study" that said teen pregnancy is on the rise due to a LACK of sex education in our school system. I beg to differ. It's NOT a lack of education, it's a lack of common sense and a lack of actual consequences being enforced. Show me an average 15-16 year old that doesn't... know that sex leads to pregnancy.
Do you know any 15-16 year olds that don't know that sex leads to pregnancy? What about 13 year olds? Good grief - my 9 year old knows that sex leads to pregnancy. My 11 year old was inscenced that some girl said, "But we only did it once!" when complaining about getting pregnant. Uh, yeah honey, that's all it takes is once. My 11 year old understands this.
I don't want to misquote anyone or talk out of school so I'm going to paraphrase other comments.
People commented that it wasn't a lack of education but a lack of parental involvement. It was observed that hormonal teenagers have no common sense. And then we turned to the topic of consequences for our actions. When questioned about what I was referring to when I said consequences, I replied:
I think that our society today focuses more on making sure that people feel good about their decisions than about enforcing consequences or allowing natural consequences to take place. We coddle and shelter and try to spare people when some times people just need to put on their big kid undies and face the music.
Don't want to work hard in school? Don't feel bad! We'll pass you through anyway so you don't take a blow to your self esteem. Until finally the end of HS comes and the final consequence of not being at a 12th grade level causes you to not be able to get a decent job or further your education. Whereas if we taught them some work ethic and actual consequences of NOT trying in school, they could avoid a consequence as great as that.
This in NO WAY applies to anyone that truly has a learning disability or needs more assistance because of it.
Is that harsh? Do you disagree?
Finally, this was my last comment on the topic.
I fully believe in sex education - age appropriate sex education. I also believe in making sure that kids understand the consequences of their actions.
Hey - if you sleep with person A, you're also sleeping with every person that person slept with and every person THAT person slept with. One in Four people end up with an STD. So, if you sleep with 3 people in your lifetime, chances are very likely that you'll be exposed to an STD.
If you want to go the "Lack of Education" route then how about this?
Let's make sure they know what an STD is. Telling them that it causing painful urination and maybe some scabs is obviously ineffective. Have they ever seen what herpes looks like? Genital warts? Do they know the family of anyone that died from cervical cancer due to HPV? DO they have any idea how many pills you have to take EVERY DAY if you're living with HIV/AIDS?
Quit sugar coating it with all of this - it's your life, you can have sex with whoever, whenever you want as long as you feel good about yourself - crap. Make them be responsible for their actions and themselves. Let them know it's OK to NOT have sex and that everyone is NOT doing it.
Teach them more about their bodies. Knowing how to insert tab A into slot b, c and D isn't enough. Knowing sperm meeting egg causes a baby isn't enough. I learned more about my body when I was researching Natural Family Planning than I did EVER in any health or biology class I took.
Let them understand that the only 100% way to ensure you don't have a child you're not ready for or end up with a disease for the rest of your life is to NOT have sex. You can take the whole religious belief discussion off the table because it's not even there. It's a scientific fact. You wanna use condoms? Fab. They have an average of 12% fail rate on preventing pregnancy and there are STD's you can still get because you don't even NEED fluid - just skin to skin contact.
So now I'm curious - is my reaction Knee Jerk? Do I sound like a crazy person that wants to teach my child that sex is evil, nasty and bad? When is it too much information? At what point do we stop making excuses and hold people accountable for their actions?
And do you really think that any of the above is going to cause the teen pregnancy rate to drop? Does knowing the consequences curb the desire to perpetrate the act?
Quite a few of you were just as shocked as I was with the proposal that I referenced. I dunno how many of you actually READ the proposal (skip to page 45) but my biggest beef was with this:
In 5th and 6th grade: Understand that sexual intercourse includes but is not limited to vaginal, oral, or anal penetration; using the penis, fingers, tongue or objects.
Based on the comments from my last post - let me assure you, my reaction is not Knee Jerk. I fully believe in Sex Education. I also fully believe that teaching a kid to put a condom on a banana is NOT sex education. I think Sex Ed needs to be age appropriate and scientifically based.
Because I'm running out of time (the kids are at the park! All 9 of them!) I am going to c/p MY thoughts and comments from another conversation I have been having on the topic.
Today on the John Tesh radio show he read a "study" that said teen pregnancy is on the rise due to a LACK of sex education in our school system. I beg to differ. It's NOT a lack of education, it's a lack of common sense and a lack of actual consequences being enforced. Show me an average 15-16 year old that doesn't... know that sex leads to pregnancy.
Do you know any 15-16 year olds that don't know that sex leads to pregnancy? What about 13 year olds? Good grief - my 9 year old knows that sex leads to pregnancy. My 11 year old was inscenced that some girl said, "But we only did it once!" when complaining about getting pregnant. Uh, yeah honey, that's all it takes is once. My 11 year old understands this.
I don't want to misquote anyone or talk out of school so I'm going to paraphrase other comments.
People commented that it wasn't a lack of education but a lack of parental involvement. It was observed that hormonal teenagers have no common sense. And then we turned to the topic of consequences for our actions. When questioned about what I was referring to when I said consequences, I replied:
I think that our society today focuses more on making sure that people feel good about their decisions than about enforcing consequences or allowing natural consequences to take place. We coddle and shelter and try to spare people when some times people just need to put on their big kid undies and face the music.
Don't want to work hard in school? Don't feel bad! We'll pass you through anyway so you don't take a blow to your self esteem. Until finally the end of HS comes and the final consequence of not being at a 12th grade level causes you to not be able to get a decent job or further your education. Whereas if we taught them some work ethic and actual consequences of NOT trying in school, they could avoid a consequence as great as that.
This in NO WAY applies to anyone that truly has a learning disability or needs more assistance because of it.
Is that harsh? Do you disagree?
Finally, this was my last comment on the topic.
I fully believe in sex education - age appropriate sex education. I also believe in making sure that kids understand the consequences of their actions.
Hey - if you sleep with person A, you're also sleeping with every person that person slept with and every person THAT person slept with. One in Four people end up with an STD. So, if you sleep with 3 people in your lifetime, chances are very likely that you'll be exposed to an STD.
If you want to go the "Lack of Education" route then how about this?
Let's make sure they know what an STD is. Telling them that it causing painful urination and maybe some scabs is obviously ineffective. Have they ever seen what herpes looks like? Genital warts? Do they know the family of anyone that died from cervical cancer due to HPV? DO they have any idea how many pills you have to take EVERY DAY if you're living with HIV/AIDS?
Quit sugar coating it with all of this - it's your life, you can have sex with whoever, whenever you want as long as you feel good about yourself - crap. Make them be responsible for their actions and themselves. Let them know it's OK to NOT have sex and that everyone is NOT doing it.
Teach them more about their bodies. Knowing how to insert tab A into slot b, c and D isn't enough. Knowing sperm meeting egg causes a baby isn't enough. I learned more about my body when I was researching Natural Family Planning than I did EVER in any health or biology class I took.
Let them understand that the only 100% way to ensure you don't have a child you're not ready for or end up with a disease for the rest of your life is to NOT have sex. You can take the whole religious belief discussion off the table because it's not even there. It's a scientific fact. You wanna use condoms? Fab. They have an average of 12% fail rate on preventing pregnancy and there are STD's you can still get because you don't even NEED fluid - just skin to skin contact.
So now I'm curious - is my reaction Knee Jerk? Do I sound like a crazy person that wants to teach my child that sex is evil, nasty and bad? When is it too much information? At what point do we stop making excuses and hold people accountable for their actions?
And do you really think that any of the above is going to cause the teen pregnancy rate to drop? Does knowing the consequences curb the desire to perpetrate the act?
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Deep Thoughts about Facebook by heidi
When I finally gave in to the Facebook Revolution and joined, I became obsessed. I had to track down EVERYONE that I knew. I wanted to know where everyone was, what they were doing, how they got there, etc. I became a stalker. What? So did you so shut up.
I tracked down the best friend turned boyfriend turned ex-boyfriend but still friend that came out of the closet to see how his life was.
I tracked down the old friends I met on my 1200 & 2400 baud modem when I first moved to Salt Lake City at 13. (Geek to the core, baby.) I even had a reunion, of sorts, with those whose spouses let them attend. Included in this batch of friends was my first "love", Dave. Apparently his wife that I've never seen dislikes me and forbid Dave to come to the little get together. Good to know I've still got some prowess. Meow.
High school friends - check.
Old Party friends - check.
Jr. High Friends - check.
Old boyfriends - check. I even managed to find out a bit about the ex-fiance that isn't allowed access to the internet for various crimes he committed by tracking down who he married and reading her info. (Scared of me yet?)
I apologized to people I had wronged over the years. Tearful emails sent out after a glass or three of wine. (Ay yi yi.) Most were well received. Well, I mean, the 3 I sent out seemed well received.
There was a friendship that just ceased to exist a few years ago. I'd always wondered what happened and if I'd done something wrong. Found that answer through facebook email and realized the person was shallow and never really a friend anyway. Lesson learned.
I forgave people. I was forgiven. I forged new friendships and rekindled old ones. *sniff sniff* It's like a story on Lifetime, isn't it? Except I'm not going to get beaten or killed, promise.
At one point I posted about having close to 400 "friends" on Facebook. I didn't think I even KNEW 400 people. I sure as hell don't LIKE 400 people! HA! So I purged. And then I did another purge. And still I purged again - without remorse (or wine, I might add, since I'm all knocked up and stuff). Now I'm down to a much more manageable 175 and I STILL don't think I know or like all the people on my list. Some are there out of obligation.
I don't play Facebook games. I don't farm or mafia or hug or poke or flair or anything else.
So, tell me, why do these people I don't know keep requesting for me to be their friend?!
They're hoarders. FB Friend Hoarders. They just want to accumulate as many friends as they can.
Listen, that's sad. Someone has to tell you - it's just sad. No one is measuring popularity by the amount of friends you have on FB. And if they are? They're just like you, hoarders with a "please like me" complex. It's time to let it go, man. Move on. Forget it. Exorcise your Facebook demons.
I tracked down the best friend turned boyfriend turned ex-boyfriend but still friend that came out of the closet to see how his life was.
I tracked down the old friends I met on my 1200 & 2400 baud modem when I first moved to Salt Lake City at 13. (Geek to the core, baby.) I even had a reunion, of sorts, with those whose spouses let them attend. Included in this batch of friends was my first "love", Dave. Apparently his wife that I've never seen dislikes me and forbid Dave to come to the little get together. Good to know I've still got some prowess. Meow.
High school friends - check.
Old Party friends - check.
Jr. High Friends - check.
Old boyfriends - check. I even managed to find out a bit about the ex-fiance that isn't allowed access to the internet for various crimes he committed by tracking down who he married and reading her info. (Scared of me yet?)
I apologized to people I had wronged over the years. Tearful emails sent out after a glass or three of wine. (Ay yi yi.) Most were well received. Well, I mean, the 3 I sent out seemed well received.
There was a friendship that just ceased to exist a few years ago. I'd always wondered what happened and if I'd done something wrong. Found that answer through facebook email and realized the person was shallow and never really a friend anyway. Lesson learned.
I forgave people. I was forgiven. I forged new friendships and rekindled old ones. *sniff sniff* It's like a story on Lifetime, isn't it? Except I'm not going to get beaten or killed, promise.
At one point I posted about having close to 400 "friends" on Facebook. I didn't think I even KNEW 400 people. I sure as hell don't LIKE 400 people! HA! So I purged. And then I did another purge. And still I purged again - without remorse (or wine, I might add, since I'm all knocked up and stuff). Now I'm down to a much more manageable 175 and I STILL don't think I know or like all the people on my list. Some are there out of obligation.
I don't play Facebook games. I don't farm or mafia or hug or poke or flair or anything else.
So, tell me, why do these people I don't know keep requesting for me to be their friend?!
They're hoarders. FB Friend Hoarders. They just want to accumulate as many friends as they can.
Listen, that's sad. Someone has to tell you - it's just sad. No one is measuring popularity by the amount of friends you have on FB. And if they are? They're just like you, hoarders with a "please like me" complex. It's time to let it go, man. Move on. Forget it. Exorcise your Facebook demons.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Hello, I love you - won't you tell me your name?
Little Bo Beep has lost her sheep and I have lost my mind. I take heart in the fact that she eventually finds them because that means that I'll hopefully find my mind again.
My brain is broken. The MRI says it's fine but the MRI lies. Pregnancy induced migraines is the official diagnosis. Frankly, I'd rather take a bath is a steaming pile of horse crap every morning. Maybe. Now that I put it out there I'm kind of gagging and not sure of myself.
So I have these constant migraines. Currently - as in, right this very second - I feel like someone has bleached one side of my brain. It's burning. And my left nostril is burning like it's going to just start bleeding at any second. Flashes of light shooting through my temple. Facial numbing and tingling. It's awesome.
Whatever. It makes me whiney and grumpy. I'm not a happy, perky, glowing pregnant person when things are going WELL so you can only imagine the hell my family is subjected to on an hourly basis these days. Plus it's summer so all the kids are home all day long and I have 3 others that I babysit during the week.
I have this bottle of wine from before I got pregnant sitting on top of our freezer in the garage. I have no idea why it's still there. To mock me, I think.
Soooo...I'm even more anti-social than my usual anti-social self. The computer makes my brain convulse. Well, that's only half true. Maybe 1/4 true. Sitting here does make my head hurt worse but mostly I can't think of anything to say to anyone so I say nothing at all.
Let's put an end to that, shall we?
I'm HUGE. No, seriously? HUGE. My adoring husband says I'm beautiful. He's always loved me being pregnant. Duh. We're on our 5th kid for crying out loud.
Speaking of this being our 5th kid - I no longer have any abdominal muscles with which to hold the child UP. I'm fairly certain my uterus is going to come out WITH him at delivery. When I sit down to pee - which is often - I have to physically LIFT him up to get him off of whatever it is he's squishing so that I can pee. He doesn't like that so much.
Also, he's a spaz. It's great fun to lay back on the chair or couch and everyone watches as my stomach has convulsions all of it's own as he does the running man in there. He's made up his own synchronized swimming routine and he perfects it each evening.
I'm hoping that when he gets here he can tell me what the hell his name is supposed to be, because I don't have a freaking clue.
There is a great likelihood that I am going to spontaneously give birth in a public place because my cervix will just give up trying to hold him in. I won't even push. Well, maybe like a fart push or something. I'll think I have to pass gas (which I do with frequency these days) and out he'll come. He'll say, "Hi, my name is..my name is..my name is...chicka chicka..Slim Shady" and I'll wrap him up in a blanket and continue on over to housewares to pick up the damned whisk I keep forgetting to buy.
Hemorrhoids blow. Or suck. I dunno..they do blow though and it's not so much fun when they do. "Do you have that painful, burning irritation on your poop shoot? Try Medicated Tucks now with witch hazel!!" Whatever - just make them stop itching.
What? Oh, NOW you're gagging? Whatever.
Oh - here's a funny - I have Group B Strep. Well, I mean, THAT isn't funny. But when I told my mom about it she thought I meant I had herpes. She was all - "Well where'd you get THAT?! Did you get it from Rob?" I'm all - uh, no..it's just a viral infection that happens, Ma. She's like, "How odd that you have that...is it like herpes of the mouth?" I'm all - "Ma, I don't have HERPES I have STREP!" Ay yi yi. Herpes I couldve had fun getting, at least.
I'll be 34 weeks on Sunday. I'm due on September 26th. My Dr. and I have come to the joint decision that we are going to induce me at 38 weeks. Want to judge me for that? Go for it. Ask me how much I care. You walk around pregnant with a constant migraine for weeks on end while tending to 7 or more kids per day and working part time as well as all the stay-at-home mom stuff and then I'll consider your opinion valid. Until then? Exactly.
Oh look, pictures.
Me at 31 weeks:
Me a mere 5 minutes ago in my downstairs bathroom. I've showered today but I just put my jammies right back on. I need to get a kid to empty that damned trash. Look, I'm big enough that you can't even see the toilet behind me. Moo.
There ya go. A post. Don't hug me - I don't like touching. Well, except for by Rob - obviously.
I'm gonna go back and lay on the couch now with my friend Vicodin.
My brain is broken. The MRI says it's fine but the MRI lies. Pregnancy induced migraines is the official diagnosis. Frankly, I'd rather take a bath is a steaming pile of horse crap every morning. Maybe. Now that I put it out there I'm kind of gagging and not sure of myself.
So I have these constant migraines. Currently - as in, right this very second - I feel like someone has bleached one side of my brain. It's burning. And my left nostril is burning like it's going to just start bleeding at any second. Flashes of light shooting through my temple. Facial numbing and tingling. It's awesome.
Whatever. It makes me whiney and grumpy. I'm not a happy, perky, glowing pregnant person when things are going WELL so you can only imagine the hell my family is subjected to on an hourly basis these days. Plus it's summer so all the kids are home all day long and I have 3 others that I babysit during the week.
I have this bottle of wine from before I got pregnant sitting on top of our freezer in the garage. I have no idea why it's still there. To mock me, I think.
Soooo...I'm even more anti-social than my usual anti-social self. The computer makes my brain convulse. Well, that's only half true. Maybe 1/4 true. Sitting here does make my head hurt worse but mostly I can't think of anything to say to anyone so I say nothing at all.
Let's put an end to that, shall we?
I'm HUGE. No, seriously? HUGE. My adoring husband says I'm beautiful. He's always loved me being pregnant. Duh. We're on our 5th kid for crying out loud.
Speaking of this being our 5th kid - I no longer have any abdominal muscles with which to hold the child UP. I'm fairly certain my uterus is going to come out WITH him at delivery. When I sit down to pee - which is often - I have to physically LIFT him up to get him off of whatever it is he's squishing so that I can pee. He doesn't like that so much.
Also, he's a spaz. It's great fun to lay back on the chair or couch and everyone watches as my stomach has convulsions all of it's own as he does the running man in there. He's made up his own synchronized swimming routine and he perfects it each evening.
I'm hoping that when he gets here he can tell me what the hell his name is supposed to be, because I don't have a freaking clue.
There is a great likelihood that I am going to spontaneously give birth in a public place because my cervix will just give up trying to hold him in. I won't even push. Well, maybe like a fart push or something. I'll think I have to pass gas (which I do with frequency these days) and out he'll come. He'll say, "Hi, my name is..my name is..my name is...chicka chicka..Slim Shady" and I'll wrap him up in a blanket and continue on over to housewares to pick up the damned whisk I keep forgetting to buy.
Hemorrhoids blow. Or suck. I dunno..they do blow though and it's not so much fun when they do. "Do you have that painful, burning irritation on your poop shoot? Try Medicated Tucks now with witch hazel!!" Whatever - just make them stop itching.
What? Oh, NOW you're gagging? Whatever.
Oh - here's a funny - I have Group B Strep. Well, I mean, THAT isn't funny. But when I told my mom about it she thought I meant I had herpes. She was all - "Well where'd you get THAT?! Did you get it from Rob?" I'm all - uh, no..it's just a viral infection that happens, Ma. She's like, "How odd that you have that...is it like herpes of the mouth?" I'm all - "Ma, I don't have HERPES I have STREP!" Ay yi yi. Herpes I couldve had fun getting, at least.
I'll be 34 weeks on Sunday. I'm due on September 26th. My Dr. and I have come to the joint decision that we are going to induce me at 38 weeks. Want to judge me for that? Go for it. Ask me how much I care. You walk around pregnant with a constant migraine for weeks on end while tending to 7 or more kids per day and working part time as well as all the stay-at-home mom stuff and then I'll consider your opinion valid. Until then? Exactly.
Oh look, pictures.
Me at 31 weeks:
Me a mere 5 minutes ago in my downstairs bathroom. I've showered today but I just put my jammies right back on. I need to get a kid to empty that damned trash. Look, I'm big enough that you can't even see the toilet behind me. Moo.
There ya go. A post. Don't hug me - I don't like touching. Well, except for by Rob - obviously.
I'm gonna go back and lay on the couch now with my friend Vicodin.
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