Friday, July 10, 2009

Dear Moms at the Library:

The computers here are not your babysitter. I know, I know...the draw to them is amazing, isn't it? Setting your kid up with headphones and some computer games while you work on your laptop or sit and chat with other moms and sip your latte sounds like a fab idea, doesn't it? Oh, yeah, I mean - I totally get it. But here's the thing... my kid wants a turn, too.

They set a 15 minute limit on those games to deter kids from hogging the computer. It's a visual reminder that you have to get off the computer and give someone else a turn. It instills the value of sharing.

Of course, all of this was set in place for the kids, not the parents. It's the parents that click through the timed out messaged. It's the parents that teach the kids how to click through and keep playing so mommy can finish hearing about how Lulu's trip to Mexico was and so she can get just one more stack of paperwork done.

So, I sit there, next to you, clearing my throat and saying things like, "It's almost our turn, Corbs. As soon as their timer goes off YOU get to have a turn!" And you purposefully ignore me and my child who is getting more and more disappointed by your lack of consideration. After the girls 90 minute class and my child not ONCE got his 15 minute turn on the computer, we leave with me promising him that I will buy him a donut.

I just want this to be your warning, ok? Because this time I went and complained to the librarian in my "inside voice" but next time? Next time I won't be so nice and I will embarass you by LOUDLY pointing out that your are, in fact, hogging the computers and we want our turn. And I'm not afraid to get ugly, because this was three freaking weeks in a row of the same moms and the same kids hogging the computers.

I'm not trying to be mean, at all. It's just..yk...if you want to ignore your children can you just do it at home, please?

Snotfaces.

Friday Freebie!!!

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Welcome to another Friday! Yay you on making it through!! So, since you made it through we're gonna give something away - just like we do every Friday. I say 'we' because I need you to do something for me.

I need you to head over to the person guest hosting today and make sure you tell her ...



Yeah, this person is SO nice that she's giving away a present for HER birthday.

Thanks Pam! And, uh,



Screaming Mimi<---Click There.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Helpful Hints from heidi

If you're obsessively watching a TV Show on DVD that you are late to coming to love, it is HELPFUL to know which season and disc you are on. If you don't, you might have something like this happen to you:

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Me: Oh shoot. They're out of the ONE disc I need! I need disc three and it's checked out!
Lady at Hastings: Can I help you?
Me: Yeah - I need disc three, Season two of Army Wives but I don't see it.
Her: Let me check and se if we have it in or not.
Me: Oh! That'd be GREAT, thankyousomuch.

Then I wandered off with the kids to let them pick a .99 movie for the week.

Lady at Hastings: Oh! I got ALL excited because I found disc three but it was season one!
Me: Damnit! I'm so bummed!!! I NEED disc three for season two. *sniff sinf*
Her: I know - I'm sorry. I even checked the system - it's checked out to someone and not due for another 5 days.
Me: SO rude. I NEED that disc.
Her: Sorry!! *sniff sniff* I'm off to get a kleenex because I am just so very sad that you won't be able to watch the show obsessively like you want to and will have to wait to find out if Denise and Frank split up or what happens with Pamela's stalker or if Roxy and your new TV boyfriend can get past this pain-pill addiction. Gosh, I need an Xanax!!
Me: Me too! *wail*

Fast forward about 6 hours to me telling this to Rob:

Rob: Uh, babe?
Me: mmmhmmm?
Rob: Didn't YOU just have Disc 3 checked out?
Me: What? WHat are you TALKING about?
Rob: Didn't you JUST take back disc 3 today? You needed Disc 4, Season 2 - not Disc three.
Me: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!
Rob: Babe. You're losin' it.
Me: How could I be so STUPID?! I DID turn in Disc three today! I'm a MORON! I needed disc FOUR! Damnitall!
Rob: Wow. I can't wait to tell everyone I know that this just happened because I think it's hilarious to laugh at your receeding brain power and lack of short term memory.
Me: NO SEX FOR YOU!

The end.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Iron Chef: Kid Chefs - The Recipes!

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All right - the moment has arrived! We have enough entries to announce the participants. This time, though, I'm not cutting ANYONE out. Nope. We had 9 entries and *I'm* not going to be the one that tells them they can't play along. No way, no how. So - they're ALL NINE in the mix. Only - now there's TWO prizes! Yep. Two. $5 gift cards to Target. There's two categories and I wanna know which you like best in each category - Main Dish and Dessert.

Now, ideally you'd have your kids help you make this stuff but that's your call. You don't have to do pictures and document it all - just have them help out and tell you what they think of each recipe. C'mon - they're easy enough!! Crimeny, one of the entries is from a THREE YEAR OLD. Have a little faith in your kids - make it fun! Teach them a skill they'll need anyway.

So, here's how it goes: You have until 8 am PST on Wednesday, July 29 to cast your votes. There will be a poll in the sidebar, as always, for popular votes. I'm still in the process of securing all of our kid judges so if your kid wants to judge, drop me a line and let me know! All of those votes are due by 8 am PST on the 29th, as well. I will announce the TWO winners later that day.
So, make a list, check it twice, let's find out whose naughty and...wait...wrong thing. Uh...oh, right - Let's EAT!

Main Dish Category:
Taco Soup by Cat
Pepperoni Pizza Grilled Cheese Sandwiches with Fruit Salad by Matthew
Corn Dog Twists by Nathan
Mini Pizza Cups by Lillian
Chili Spaghetti by Cara
Hawaiian Teriyaki Beef Kebobs with Grilled Pineapple by Sienna

Dessert Category:
Banana Split Pie by DD & Nisha
Brain Freeze Ice Cream Sundae by Topher
The Best Brownies EVAH by Corban

Good luck guys!


Iron Chef: Kid Chef Entries

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Boy did I just get in trouble. My kids wanna know why THEY can't enter and uh, I dunno why. Not like I'm the only vote so I'm not going to cheat, right? Ok then...so, I'll just go ahead and add these three recipes to the mix. My apologies. I also edited the original post to reflect these recipes.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Chili Spaghetti by Cara

Ingredients:
1 Big Can Chili or leftover chili from a few nights ago
Thin Spaghetti Noodles
Shredded Cheese

Instructions:
1. Boil pan full of water
2. Add spaghetti noodles
3. Heat up chili
4. Drain noodles when your mom says they're done - make her help you because you do NOT want to get burned, I promise.
5. Serve Chili on top of spaghetti noodles.
6. Cheese can be put on if you want. I dont' like cheese so I don't.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Hawaiian Teriyaki Beef Kebobs with Grilled Pineapple by Sienna

Ingredients:
1 pkg of stew meat or steak cut into chunks
1 Tbsp chopped/minced garlic
3/4 cup soy sauce
1/2-inch slice fresh ginger OR 1 Tbsp Ginger powder
1 1/2 teaspoons brown sugar
1 can pineapple slices

Instructions:
1. In a big ziplock bag put these: brown sugar, soy sauce, ginger, garlic and meat.
2. Shake it and smoosh it around.
3. Let it sit for, like, 30 minutes or 1 hour.
4. Put wooden skewers in a pan of water for 30 minutes so they don't burn up on the grill.
5. After 30 min or 1 hour put the meat on the skewers - about 6 or 7 for each skewer.
6. Tell your mom or dad it's time to heat up the grill - let them help you because the grill gets really, really hot.
7. Dump the rest of the marinating sauce and make sure you wash your hands and every where the meat touched really good because it's raw meat and blood and you don't want to get that stuff ANYWHERE. Gross.
8. Open Pineapple can and drain all the juice out. Put them on a plate.
9. Over medium heat, put pineapple on the grill for 10-15 minutes. Make sure you turn it over halfway through.
10. Add beef skewers and cook for 4-6 minutes or until they're done like you like them. We like them well done with no blood showing.
11. Serve over rice.

P.S. Sometimes we like to put a little honey on our pineapple - it's really good that way!

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

The Best Brownies Ever by Corban

Ingredients:
1/4 c. all-purpose flour
1/2 c. Nestle's cocoa
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1 c. sugar
1/2 c. butter, melted
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla (Mom's secret ingredient: PURE vanilla - not that fakey extract stuff)
1 bag milk chocolate chips

Instructions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In small bowl, combine flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt. Set aside. In large bowl, combine sugar, butter, eggs, and vanilla. Beat until creamy. Gradually blend in flour mixture. Stir in chocolate chips. Pour into 12-inch baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Cool completely.

***Corbs helps me make this every time. He likes to lick the bowl, yo. HA! It's easy enough if you pre-measure and let them just ump the stuff in as needed.

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B likes breastmilk the mostestest so, uh, you're on your own there. I hear there's candy factory in Belgium or something that makes chocolate out of breastmilk. Try that, why don't ya?

Iron Chef: Kid Chefs

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Ok, I'm leaving this open until 7pm PST tonight because if not? Then it'll just be battle of the Schweri kids! So - to those of you that emailed me and said your kids wanted to play along - post their recipe! To those of you that commented and said "Woohoo! WHat fun!" Post a recipe! It doesn't have to have pictures or anything - just post the recipe your kid likes to make and submit it.

I DO want to reitterate that it needs to be something they can make with minimal help and supervision. This is about THEM, not us.

Last call! Last Call!!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I'd like to respond to you...

...but you don't have your email enabled.

See, when you comment on my blog, sometimes I'd like to just reply directly to your comment. I really like being able to do that because then I don't forget to go hunt down your email addy and say what I need to say.

So, since I know you're dying to know what I have to say, please go make sure you have your email address enabled to make MY life easier.

Don't know how? Well..it's your lucky day! My friend Jill has given you a step by step guide to get this done. She's done this along with some other helpful blog tips. Go check out how smart she is and learn how to pimp your own blog, yo:

Sneaky Momma Blog Design


And enable your email addy for crying out loud.

Seriously Sacred.

Today is Corban's 3rd Birthday. My first son. My little man. My holy terror. My 'Mr. Attitude'. My little love. My little turd. My sensitive boy. My snuggle-bug. My 'But I HAVE to' kid. My 'Why? Why? Why? Why?' kid. My sweet little momma's boy.

Yeah, that's right..he's mine. Well, and Rob's.

Happy Birthday to my boy. He's Seriously Sacred to me.



Share something that is Seriously Sacred to YOU in the comment section