Being Realistic is Optional

I get Better Homes & Gardens Magazine. Normally, I'm opposed to subscribing to any magazine because I find it to be a waste of money and they just clutter up everything (yes, Kasey, and the environment thing, too.). But, I've cancelled this darned thing 5 times and they keep sending it to me for free! Dunno how to get them to stop sending it.

ANYWAY.

So I'm sitting on the toilet, flipping through the latest issue (Oh, please - act like you don't read your mags on the toilet. Whatever.) when I come across an article from Leah Remini on getting organized for back to school. She gives us some hints and tips and tells us how organized she is for back-to-school. She even calls herself "organization mom".

Can we talk about some of these tips?

Tip #1: She lays out her daughter's clothes the night before. This is a good tip but here's a better one - quit caring what your kid wears and leave it up to them. They look ridiculous but as long as all the bits and parts are covered, then I don't even care. HA!

How about tip #2: Go on a Birthday Blitz. She buys for everyone in her daughter's class at one time. How is this applicable to me? Her disposable income is probably higher than my needed income to survive! And who buys gifts for everyone in the class??? How is this even remotely realistic?!

Reading this article was a bit like reading one called "How to dress like the stars, for less!" And then they tell you to send $300 on ONE friggin outfit! That's not less - ok, technically it's less but really it's not. If my outfit costs more than my grocery budget for one week then it's not practical. Who has $300 to spend on one outfit?? Or an article about how to lose 15 lbs in one month and they tell you to work out 3 times a day. Who the hell has that kind of time???

Oh, right, people that get paid too much. My bad.

Guess what day it is!!!

Today my kids went back to school. Well, my girls did and the rest of the neighborhood went with them. I know I'm not the only parent to be glad to see their kids go back to school. We take a lot of flack for being happy about it - for wanting our kids to go back but I think it's a GOOD thing.

I love my kids being in school. I love the predictability of my days when they are in school. I love routine and schedules. I love making them breakfast and sending them off to school with their lunch and some prayers. I love greeting them when they come home with a snack and to hear about their days. I love missing them while they are gone. I love looking forward to their return.

Them going to school gives me a chance to miss them, and I sorely need that. So, while they're away today I will work, get my chores done, chase the boys and make some awesome One Fish Two Fish cupcakes. And I can't WAIT to hear how their first days of 5th and 7th grade went.

Oh, and the rest of the neighborhood kids, too.

Helpful Hint From heidi: Third Eye Blind?

If you get a mosquito bite on your forehead, situated just between and above your eyes, do not scratch it.

Because if you do it will get bigger and redder and eventually bust open and bleed.

And you'll look like some weird creature with 3 eyes, one of them bloody and crusty.

You're welcome.

Say What? So much To Say. Where's the Pinata???

I don't want this to be a "Why I haven't blogged" post. Snoozefest.

I don't want this to be a "My life has been so difficult lately!" post. Whinefest.

I don't want this to be a "Oh man, so many funny things have happened!" post. Fakehumorfest.

I don't want this to be a "Here's what I've been up to" post. Ramblefest.

So, it's a "Ihaven'tbloggedbecauseI'vebeensobusyandswampedandmy5yearoldcrackedmyribsinhislatestrageandI'mcompletelyoverwhelmedanddrowningbutfunnythingshavehappenedandIdon'tknowhowtoexplainthemtoyou" post.

Ya still with me? Mmkay then.

Honestly? I'm drowning in self pity over here. I'm getting ready to go do a Handwashing Study at the Medical Science building for a hundred bucks so we can buy school supplies. Which, honestly, pretty much sums it all up lately.

Corban has been doing really well lately but last week he had this rage that was Ree-Dick-You-Less.

I picked him up and carried him up the stairs (I know I'm not the only one with bruised appendages from this, right?) to deposit him in his room. When I set him down his foot came up and he kicked me in the ribs right below my right boob. Holy (bad word bad word bad word) hell that hurts. I'm about 99.9% certain he cracked or severely bruised my ribs. I'm not willing to spend the co-pay and out of pocket to go find out since they don't do anything about it.

What's wrong with him, you ask? Well who the hell knows. He was diagnosed with Sensory Processing/Integration Disorder when he was 2 but now there is something more going on. He's violently angry. And they're looking at Bi-Polar and Anxiety. I'm looking at full-body armor and counseling for myself. HA! I kid. Mostly.

He's in OT and Speech and is doing Vision Therapy because apparently his eyes don't track correctly. Some malfunction in his brain. Insurance thinks Vision Therapy is VooDoo or something and they won't cover it. And we're supposed to start seeing a Behavioral Specialist/Child Psychologist, too. (Keaton is still in PT for Congenital Tortecollis, too.) No wonder people lose their houses trying to make sure their kids get the therapies they need. Who the bloody hell can afford all this shit? Huh? I work two jobs. Rob works two jobs. We have good insurance. You know what? We're out of Flex money already. We're Tapped. Out. How the eff are we supposed to pay for all the things Corban needs and the other kids, too? We don't qualify for assistance or Early Intervention. He's not delayed enough for the other assistance. He doesn't have the right diagnosis for the assistance for kids on the spectrum. I want to just give up and say the hell with it. But, yk, I don't ACTUALLY want to do that. I'm just tired and frustrated.

Oh look, this is a self-pity party with a woe-is-me accent. Who is the party planner?? Damnit - you're fired. Where the hell is the pinata??

I haven't blogged purely because I have nothing positive to say. I'm a whiner right now. Oh, I know. Thank you. I know it's ok to whine. I just hate it. I'd rather wine. and Dine. sometimes even sixty..what? Oh, right...not appropriate. Ok.

Sienna is going into 7th Grade. 7th Grade. Jr. High sucks, people.

Cara is in 5th this year. She's nervous. And SO dramatic. Good Lord. She belongs on TV.

Corban..well, he's...angry. No, I don't know why. Maybe you can tell me?

Brennan is 3 and currently grounded from his Super Hero Underwear for peeing on the floor. WTF?? Dude PT'd himself and now he's peeing on the floor? Damnit. Get a grip! Preferable a grip that aims at the water in the toilet bowl, yo.

Keaton is 10 months and crawling like a maniac. He climbed 5 stairs this morning and is cruising the furniture, He says Bye and Da-Da. He's in PT once a week and doing great.

Rob? Working his ASS off for pittance and that's about all I can say just in case someone from his work reads this.

Pity Party in full affect, yo. So instead of blogging I watch TV. Like Project Runway, 24 Hour Restaurant Challenge, The Great Food Truck Race, Hell's Kitchen and Master Chef. Oh, and White Collar (yum). I watch those while I nurse and rock 'Sir Never Sleeps' aka Keaton.

"I say my hell is the closet I'm stuck inside....and my Heaven is a nice house in the sky. Got central heating and I'm all right. Can't see the light. Keep it locked up inside, don't talk about it...talk about the weather. Can't see the light. Open up my head and let me out..."




Some times..I find it's easy to be myself. Some times I find it's better to be somebody else.


Or my other theme song as of lately...



Word.

Peace Out.