Breathless

Sometimes I go days, even weeks, without thinking about him.

Sometimes I am nostalgic and I think about when he was here, and it chokes me up.

Sometimes I have to answer questions about him and I feel defensive.

Sometimes I look at pictures of him and wish he was with me, again.

Sometimes I forget that he's not in my life anymore.

Sometimes, like tonight, I see an interaction somewhere between a brother and a sister and it hits me like a knife slicing into a thick heavy scar, that he is not mine anymore. And I can't breathe. Just for a moment, I hold my breath, and wish that I could hear him laugh and hug him again.