OK, listen (can you hear me, now?) I have some thoughts I need to share with you. Some things that are irritating me and that I need to get off my chest. Pay attention, grasshoppers.
#1: Did you watch the Survivor Finale last night? Why are these people always so shocked and dismayed that the winner lied to them? Give me a flipping break! This was the 22nd season - have they not SEEN the other seasons? Do they not KNOW how to play this game?? "You lied to me! How could you?!" Come on, now - I admire that you want to get through the game without lying - and it may be possible - but it's never been done. Ever. People go on Survivor to win a million dollars - generally they're willing to do and say whatever it takes to get to the end. So why is it, that every season, there are people at the end crying and pissing and moaning about dishonesty?
#2: Not everything needs an 'S' on the end. For instance - It's Costco...not Costcos. It's WalMart - not Walmarts. McDonalds? Famous Daves? Applebees? Yes - there's an 'S' on the end. SO annoying.
#3: SupposEDly. Not SupposUBly.
#4: Dear Old Navy: Stop sending me coupons and discounts to be used "In Store Only". You pulled your store the hell out of here, remember? You can just go screw yourself. I'm waiting for Kohl's to finish being built.
#5: Your daughter is a brat. There, I said it. (Oh, not you..or you..no, you don't know her...I just needed to say it.)
#6: Quit piling crap on my desk. I have enough of my own crap - I don't need yours, too.
#7: Yeah, I said I wanted plastic not paper. Yes, I own my own grocery bags - I just forgot them. I need the plastic ones to line my trashcans at home. Leave me alone.
#8: Please stop coming to my house and farting on my couch. I know you're doing it - I hear you. It's gross and now whenever I sit there that's all I can think about and wonder if that smell that lingers is your fart. *gag*
#9: The next time you imply that my daughter is "bulking up" I will punch you in the face and stomp on your throat. She weighs less than most kids in her class and happens to fall right on the 50% line. That's average. Yes, she's bigger than her sister - her sister that isn't even ON the charts, btw. Oh, and? You're ugly.
#10: Please stop talking to me.
*Phew* Glad I could get that off my chest.
Happy Monday.
Monday, May 16, 2011
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21 comments:
Happy Monday indeed!
And can I just say I am jealous...you are a mom of 5 and can post regularly. I only have 2 and can't even keep my house neat much less post regularly!!
Oh hell no. If someone told me my daughter was 'bulking up' I'd punch them first and clarify exactly what they meant second (well, ya know, if she was older b/c right now she is kinda chubby).
My hubby's grandma shops at the Wal-MarK and various other of his redneck kin call it Wal-MartS. LOL.
Have a great week... and don't let weird people fart on the couch - that's just nasty.
Glad you feel better. Carry on.
I almost seriously wrote a response to each one. Then I realized that I use too many yeses I mean "S"es and I have three brats and I pile crap on people. I must say I will never ever fart on your couch or say your daughter is bulking up. Who does that? Oh crap. I'm still talking.
#9
If and when I have kids and people have the balls to say they are fat or any such relation to thought of them being fat I will be punching them in the face so fast they'll be losing ten pounds from being in the hospital.
I was a fat kid growing up and my mom along with her friends and the rest of my family always commented about my weight, other than my grandmother who has now passed no one ever stood up for me.
So keep at it and let no one tell your kids they are fat, even if they are bigger its health that's an issues not weight. You can be overweight and be perfectly healthy and you can weigh 110 pounds and die of a heart attack.
Good god do I hate what the media for telling us what we should all look like.
WHO is coming to your house and farting on your couch?!?! Can you just not let them in?
I hate supposably too. (Did you ever see that episode of Friends...? "Did they go to the zoo? Supposably...")
2 and 3 both drive me crazy too! And seriously someone said she was bulking up?!? That is just horrible and none of their business anyway! You are going to love Kohl's they have the best coupons:)
Your #1 is the reason I stopped watching Survivor. I mean really - haven't the people on the show ever SEEN it? And Kohl's Cash is the best thing EVER!!!
# 3 drives me nuts. So does liBARY instead of libRARY. Dumbasses.
Good gravy! I'm glad you got all that off your chest!
I have never watched Survivor but read a lot of commentary about it which makes me the perfect person to make an objective statement. I think what these people are really upset about is that they fell for the lying--they really thought what's his name was sincere, an original, different than the others. Meanwhile, they're just dumb because they fell for it and they (apparently) didn't do enough lying of their own. Can't be a good feeling.
Happy Monday, indeed. Oh, and as someone who works on a CBS reality competition show (or even in reality tv in general)... I can totally relate to #1. Kill me now.
♥ sécia
www.petiteinsanities.blogspot.com
I love when people are surprised by the obvious! And A to the MEN on your entire list!!!
As always thank you for the laugh! I loved the line about the trashcans, we do the same thing.
Hope all is well with you. Have a fabulous day!
I can always count on your blog to get a good laugh. Especially with the crap-tastic day I've been having...must be a Monday thing. Hope the rest of your week is better. :)
These things irritate me, too. Glad you got them off of your chest and that you feel better now ;)
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I love you Heidi! LOL I could relate to every one of these!
Horrified at Number 9!!
I will totally have your back if you want to go them.
I'm not even joking.
It's good to get that all out:-)
I don't have a daughter — whew!
OK, that might have been me farting on your couch.
Wait, wrong couch.
Never mind.
:)
LOVE it! Glad to see others vent! New follower!
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