I'm pretty sure I don't like you.

Sienna came home from school, not too long ago, RAVING about some soup her friend brought to school. Over the next week she traded lunch with this friend every day to get this soup. She begged me to make it. Being the over-indulgent mom that I am, I said sure - get me the recipe.

She asked her friend to bring the recipe. A week went by. Girl was craving the soup like a crack addict. She had to have it. I searched according to the ingredients and came up with 3 possibilities - none of which was correct, according to her.

In the meantime, life went on. Sienna went to the mall with friends and I went to pick her up. One of the other girls' mom was there so I did the right thing - the social thing - I introduced myself. The woman shook my hand (how grown up am I?! I offered my hand.) and said nice to meet you. But she didn't tell me her name. I tried again to get her name from her and got...a vapid stare.

Whatever.

Monday Sienna brings me the "recipe" for this soup she's dying for. Only...uh....all it includes is a list of ingredients. No instructions? No..name? Just a grocery list.

I did my best. I tried to make the soup. It tasted good but smelled like vomit. Wholly unappetizing. Vomit soup anyone? Yum.

Then we're back at the mall for shoes and who do we run into? Vapid woman. This time I take no chances..I say, "I'm sorry but I just don't remember your name." Phew. Good thing I'm clever because I outsmarted her on that one and she gave me her name. I feel victorious!

(Editorial aside: Where is this all going? I know you want me to wrap it up and I've been interrupted a billion times..so this isn't even as funny as I want it to be. Now I'm just getting pissed.)

Sienna wants the vomit soup again, only she wants me to make it right. I say, "Get me a flipping RECIPE then, not just a list of ingredients! I'm a mom not a magician, for crying out loud!" She says, "I asked and this is what she gave me!!"

It dawns on me that I have no idea which friend this recipe came from..so I ask.

Can you guess?

Yep. The vapid woman with no name. So, yk, thanks for the list of ingredients. Oh, and when your daughter was here last week? She asked me if I had a double chin.

I'm pretty sure I don't like you.