Ding-a-ling

I have 3 boys and a husband so there are a lot of penises in this house. Ok, well there are four to be exact. But, for someone that does not HAVE a penis - it's a lot. I knew that boys were fascinated by their penises. It's only a wee bit obvious starting when you're 4 and you keep saying, "Oh my nuts!" to anyone who will listen. Yeah, we get it, you have a penis. Congrats. It changes names as you grow older but the sentiment is still the same..this is my little buddy and I like him.

It starts even younger than four, I've discovered. Keaton is 6 months old and he can hardly WAIT until I get his diaper off. He feels those onesie snaps come undone and his hand is down clawing at the velcro of his diaper. Then (queue the music) it's as if he hasn't been in contact with his penis for so long. "Hello, again, Hello. I just called to say..hello..I couldn't sleep at all tonight. And I know it's late..but I couldn't wait...hello, my friend, hello. Just called to let you know - I think about you every night when I'm here alone and your there at home...hello."

Corban is almost 5 and I think he's afraid his penis is going to fly off of his body if he isn't holding on to it. So he checks in from time to time. Just reaches down and grabs it. Shakes hands. Quick little check in. But sometimes..oh sometimes..he grabs on and (queue the music, again) just doesn't want to let go. "Reunited and it feels so good. Reunited cause we understood there's one perfect thing and sugar this one is it. We both are so excited cause we're reunited, hey hey."

Brennan, though - he seems content to just leave it in his pants and leave it alone. Could there be hope? He likes to talk about it. He's an "Oh, my nuts!" kind of kid. He also likes to point out who has a penis and who has a 'Dagina'. "Mommy, you pee from your dagina?" "Mommy - that man has a penis?" "Mommy does that yady have a penis or a dagina?" He's more of a "I ain't missin' you at all..since you been gone, away. I ain't missin' you...no matter what my friends say."

I thought I knew a lot about penises. Really, I did. I've learned a lot with 3 http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifboys. Smegma? That stuff is real - it's not just fodder for a Red Dwarf episode! Who knew. Something else I've learned? Naked boys like to make their penises dance. "Wiggle it..just a little bit...I wanna see you wiggle it, just a little bit..as it groves"

Rob has a penis song, too. What song goes with that? Why...this one, of course: