Corban was diagnosed as having SPD when he was two. He was non-verbal. He would stay up ALL. NIGHT. LONG. He would scream if anyone new came into our house or car. He would scream if people touched him. He would shut down if people engaged him.
I wonder, though, if there's not something else going on.
He's 4 now. And he gets so mad. By mad I mean he starts by making an angry face and then talks about he he wants to hit things and smash things. Recently he's been threatening to punch me. I take him to his room where he rages - throwing things, hitting things, kicking things - all while screaming about how much he hates me. And the smallest things set him off. Telling him no. Telling him it's time to go to bed. Telling him that he has to do something he doesn't want to do.
Some times he is the most polite little thing. And fun and sweet...then other times it's like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde.
Also, lately I've noticed an increase in physicality of activity. For instance, he LOVES to wrestle, now. Only he likes to be the one that's getting his butt kicked. But he LAUGHS while it's happening. WTH??? He just really wants to wrestle and when his 2 year old brother puts him in a headlock? That's a bonus.
Lately, too, we've had issues with boundaries. For example - you can tell him to stop what he's doing but it's like he can't hear you. Then when he finally DOES hear you, he gets pissed that you told him to stop.
What IS this?! What is going ON? Someone tell me this is normal behavior for a 4 year old!
Yes, lie to me.
No, don't. Someone help me out here. Is there something more than the SPD going on?
I wrote this earlier and I have to tell you - I'm EXHAUSTED dealing with him today. Exhausted. Trying to stay on top of him and his moods while dealing with a 2 year old and a teething 7 month old? Not to mention the two girls and the kids I babysit. Can we just sedate them all for ONE NIGHT so I can catch up?? I kid. It really is exhausting trying to keep up with him, though. Any help you can offer is very appreciated.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
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13 comments:
I'm not a mom but I think that perhaps he needs an outlet? Maybe karate class or something physical yet structured. I have a feeling that a lot of 4-year-olds are like this. But no matter what you do... don't ever let him win an argument. Hope it gets better. xo
♥ sécia
www.petiteinsanities.blogspot.com
Heidi, Ethan was/is a LOT like that. He battled sensory issues from birth, he cried almost non-stop for the first 6 months of his life and by 12 months of age he would RAGE when things weren't 'just so'. I think his rages peaked during the prechool years and now he does pretty well reigning himself in. When he totally starts losing it he will count to 20 and back down to 1 again and if that doesn't help he will go to his room, scream into his pillow, chuck some toys around and when he's done he will come back to join the family. I hope Corban is on the upswing soon because I totally know how exhausting it can be.
He sounds like my nephew, Ryan. Ryan has these uncontrollable rages where he will punch, kick, bite my sister, scream about how much he hates her and wishes that she was in jail/not his mommy/dead. You never know what is going to set him off. Recently he punched her so hard that she had a black eye. Ryan is three! I wish I had some advice on how to handle it, but so far my sis is at a loss too. Currently Ryan has not had a tantrum for about 3 or 4 weeks, which is the longest break he has ever had. He used to have 3 or 4 a week. It might just be a phase or possibly a hormone imbalance, although my sister didn't find her pediatrician to be very helpful. I am sorry you are going through this!
Oh Heidi, I'm sorry. My sweeter than sweet Hanan had issues like this. Svhe never had sensory issues but rage, yes. We often didn't know what would set it off. It started when I only had two kids and it wore me out. Several times we almost took her to a specialist. We never did. We decided to try and show her how to dealbwith the emotions. Often we failed miserably. The older she gets, the better she is. Change can set her off. I'll be praying for you.
Ugh. We don't have issues like that, except my almost 4yo has been getting into trouble constantly and bawling her eyes out when she gets caught. She cries almost every night when we put her to bed. It's exhausting but I know it's nothing like your kind of exhausted.
I wish we lived closer because I know we would totally be friends in real life and I could bring over some of the girls that have helped me in the last few weeks, and you could take a nap. Or vent. And I'd bring you some of these frozen meals.
As it is, I just hope you can get a break once in a while!
I had to Google SPD, so obviously I can't be of any help here. I'll just say... trust the little voice. Check into it. If nothing has been missed, then at least you won't expend energy needlessly worrying about the 'what ifs.'
Hang in there, girl.
Is there a dietary component to this?
Hugs!! I wish I could help you and give you some magic solution - I would bring it up with his ped - and talk to them about what can be done to help - I'm sure dealing wtih SPD and having 2 younger siblings can't be easy on him (or you!!) Maybe they can help you find a good preschool or program that can help you both find ways to manage his anger. (I love the counting to 20 idea, as well as the being allowed to throw the stuffed animals/scream into pillow. I know its not the same but whenever Tommy gets too worked up we work on deep breaths and making silly faces while we do it - it helps him calm down)
I am not a professional (outside of a BA in psychology) but have you ruled out Autism? It effects kids in so many different ways I think it would be a safe bet just to have it checked out.
Also as far as him getting mad after the third time you tell him something but its only the first time he is hearing it, is it maybe just the tone of your voice? I know mine will definitely sound different after the 3rd time I have to tell the fiance something as opposed to the first. The little one may think you are mad at him not realizing you already said something twice and is misinterpreting.
I had to google SPD, but I actually have heard of it (just not the initials).
I found this link in my search results. Maybe it will help? I have no idea. http://www.lifeskills.us/
It may just be a normal phase that a lot of kids go through (pushing the boundaries, etc), but maybe his is exacerbated because of the SPD?
Sometimes I'm pretty sure I'm the one with the SPD and rage issues here, so my advice cannot be validated. :)
Have a glass of wine. I am.
I have no wisdom to share Heidi. I pray God will lead you to the information you need. I can't imagine how exhausting it would be. (((hugs)))
I'm certain you aren't alone.
I agree with Brandi...trust your instincts. I would definitely have him evaluated, Heidi. Early intervention - with anything - is key!
Praying for your sweet boy, and praying for YOU. You really have your hands full right now with everything that's going on!
Hugs...
RIGHT in the middle of evaluations with my boy - and yesterday, I talked to the nurse and said "could you please tell the doctor to hurry up and get back to me? Things are escalatingggggg" (Just like that LOL) I don't feel like writing publicly about it yet, because truthfully I don't want a zillion people telling me what to do that have no clue until the ones that do have a clue at least send me in the right direction. I hope you find some answers... and I'm sorry you didn't get any from me :)
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