After we had our first child I tried to eradicate this phrase from our vocabulary. It was mean! It was horrible! We weren't going to say it! Especially to our precious child. How degrading and demeaning! Instead we used phrases like "Shhh!" "Hush" "Be quiet" - which, yk, MEAN Shut up but sound nicer and more socially acceptable. *nods sagely*
Our second child came and tested us to the very core of our patience. In fact, she may have been sent to TEACH me patience when she was a baby and toddler. The exact polar opposite of our quiet, reserved, shy first born - our second daughter did everything with gusto. Including cry all. the. time.
Still, we held out. I fared better than Rob who was known to throw out a shut up every now and then. When that happened I would be so upset and offended! How DARE he talk to our children that way!! Disrespectful and rude, that's what I considered it. Degrading & demeaning, too. Lots of 'D' words.
We've since added 3 kids to our clan and countless neighborhood children who have sort-of co-opted themselves into our family. And I have to tell you? There is something to be said for a well placed "Shut up!". In the midst of all the kids fighting and yelling and screaming - a Shut Up will quiet the masses. In the middle of a tween-hormone fueled rant/tantrum a Shut Up will buy your poor ears about 30 seconds of silence. 30 seconds might not seem like long, but your ears will beg to differ.
Over the years Shut Up has evolved in our house. There's 'Shut it!', referring to the offender's mouth, of course. 'Stop talking' - which is generally directed at our 9 year old daughter who will make a fabulous lawyer one day. 'That's Enough' for our 4 year old while he rages and spews out hatred at the person in his path (generally me). 'Stop' for Brennan, the two year old because simple commands are best when you're two. I still use 'Hush' for the baby - because it just seems morally wrong to tell the baby to shut up, ya know? I mean - I have boundaries and limits - I'm not a total monster.
Shut Up is no longer a swear word here. Unless you're a child and you pull that puppy out and throw it in MY direction. Then you can count on an unpleasant day filled with loneliness and penalty chores.
So there. Another entry for mom of the year, please. You don't like it?
Shut up.
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11 comments:
ok,your post really gave me a good laugh!I grew up in a home where "shut up" was unacceptable,I too vowed never to say that to my kids,well now?different story!I have one who NEVER EVER shuts up,she screams the meanest,most hateful things she can come up with in a moment of 3 yr old rage lol i too have thrown out that occasional "SHUT UP!!" love your blog!
I, like you, was never going to say that phrase to my sweet child...and then he became a mouthy pre-teen and that decision flew out the window during an argument he kept insisting on having one particular day. Amazing how they can push you over the edge that way.
I've only got 2 boys & I can't imagine not using a "shut up" every once in a while.
Hugs & love,
Mimi
HA! Yeah, by the time you get to your 3rd, etc., the 'shut ups' fly from your mouth and you don't even think about it anymore. ;)
Hey, you wrote my next post. Minus 3 kids of course, but you wrote my next post. This is my life too. :o)
I too held off saying "shut up" until child number three was born.
Sometimes "please sweetie, could you not be so loud" just doesn't bloody cut it.
Will it scar them for life? I don't think so.
I was just sitting here wishin' my husband would agree to a couple more kiddos so I could test out that "shut up" with multiple kids theory :)
I hear you loud and clear. We have done the same thing. Trey is always asking is that a nice word. Then if my in laws say a bad word of course Trey tells them they are going to be in big trouble.
Hope you have a great day!
Isn't it funny how we think life is going to go and then life gets you going?
We eradicated shut up, stupid & dumb. Dylan was famous for telling people that "we don't say that word" if they happened to utter one of them in his presence. Now, the words have come back...but the "shut up's" between us are a form of picking back & forth. And he definitely knows when it's not a good idea to use "shut up" with me! :)
Of course, now I am the one who has to guard her "language" with my 7 yr old niece & 1 yr old nephew!!!
Happy blogging! Your rock and have been given the Stylish Blogger Award. Thank you for all of your awesome content.
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