I recently read an article/blog post about how we shouldn't be rewarding our children for doing things. We shouldn't say to them, "If you clean up your room then we will go to the park." Or, "If you don't act like a complete monster while we are at mommy's friend's house then mommy will get you a donut on the way home."
Apparently it's called bribery (is that bad?) and we're not supposed to do it. If we do it then we are setting our kids up to only do things for rewards.
I guess I can see that. I can see what the write meant and all..but I hafta tell ya? Rewards and bribes have their place. WE operate on an 'If and Then' system of parenting here. For instance, the following things may or may not have been said in my house in the past week:
If you don't do your chores, then you will spend the rest of the evening alone in your bed.
If you clean up your trains then mommy will do a puzzle with you.
If you girls would clean up after dinner tonight then mom will be so happy and grateful.
If you don't stop kicking your brother in the face RIGHT NOW then I am going to put you in time out AND give you a penalty chore!
If you EVER spit on my kitchen floor again then I will make you lick it up. (What? Don't judge me.)
See? I don't see a whole lot of rewards or bribery in there. Hmm...I must be off my game this week. Honestly, though, I think that a well placed reward serves a purpose.
If you clean the kitchen, Rob, then I'll let you touch my boobs.
See??? Task=reward.
Shoot. Forgot to follow through on that one.
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16 comments:
I think that your method teaches kids (and husband) that there are consequences for their actions:-)
Great post! I'm afraid there's a lot of bribery going on in my house. We tend to live by it, lol.
Found you on Bloggy Moms.
CJ xx
HAHA! My bribes are like yours. It's put your video game away or it disappears for eternity. Hey, it works for me...
Got my shoes yesterday...love them!!
Haha! Love your blog!
Will definitely be back :-)
Following you from Bloggymoms
http://rominagarciamartyrhood.blogspot.com/
Whatever it takes to live in peace is what I say. Lol. Can' t stand the fighting...so if bribes work, bribes it is :)
Hey if it works...
Actually we do the same thing. It's called consequences. :)
So I just stumbled upon your blog while avoiding all things work related. SO FUNNY!! I think we have a very similar bloggging style. I'm your newest follower. (and I bribe my kids constantly. and I'm not sorry about it.)
Jen
naptimeisthenewhappyhour.blogspot.com/
Amazing post!! I agree that bribery is a great way to raise kids and train men! I use it in my house all the time and it does work! If it makes you feel any better child psychologists and parenting class instructors call is "The Reward System" or "Positive Reinforcement". It makes me feel better :D
My favorite is the licking the spit off the floor. That's brilliant. Found you through MBC, btw.
Heidi you always make me laugh:) I totally use bribes on my kiddos all the time. How funny about licking up the spit! I could totally hear myself saying that to one of my boys!
Had to come back for another read.
Bribery is what makes my little world go around.
If you do this - you will get that.
That's how things get done around here.
If there is another way to make little people do things, I'd love to hear about it haha!
well seriously how else will they learn the rules of "cause and effect" and really it's science..so there.
Just yesterday we were at Tayjay and they were interrupting my shopping thoughts..so I said be quiet and you can get candy bar.
they didn't on either..lesson learned mom wasn't b.s.ing.
and next time they will be reminded.
hey it's really not rocket science..why then do we try to make rules for our rules?!
LOL... great blog. Stopping by and following from Bloggy Moms
love holding the boobies hostage!!
Too much information! This sister does not that image of the brother in her mind!
With 5 kids it is clear that I have cleaned the kitchen at least 5 times in 15 years...not bad if I do say so myself!
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