Small Talk - Look What The Cat Dragged In

I saw this meme over at Heather's place and thought it looked like fun. Well, that and I'm bored. It's called Small talk Six on Saturdays. But it's Sunday so I can call it whatever I want. Just kidding. I like that these ladies post the topics out WAY in advance for weird people like me. Check it out, join in! No one says you have to do it on Saturday, yo.





This week's topic? 6 celebrities you had a crush on when you were a tween or teen

I don't think I had typical crushes. Well, they were typical for me and my friends but I keep seeing all these Ralph Macchio, River Phoenix, NKOTB stuff and I gotta tell ya? Those guys didn't do it for me. Nope. Nay. Did not. I liked my men dirty. HA! Well, mostly, anyway.

In no real order:

Bret Michaels of Poison - Oh, mylanta. I had inappropriate thoughts about this man that wore makeup. He was Eh-Oh-Tee, HOT. I had posters of him on my wall but nothing like my BFF Michel had...we PLASTERED her room with them. He was just delicious. Now? He's still good looking but mostly he's skanky and nasty. Blech. But back then, he rocked my world.




Sebastian Bach of Skid Row - Another Hair Metal treat. Yummy! Oh, he was tortured!! Remember Yesterday? 18 and life?! Come ON! This guy..ohhhhhhhh. Now? He needs a haircut and he's all bloated like Alec Baldwin. Disgust.



Tommy Lee of Motley Crue - an original bad boy! Oh, he was naaaauuuughty wasn't he? Yes, yes he was. Now? He's just disease riddled with a peter pan complex.



Jon Bon Jovi - oh, come to mama. He sang songs to me EVERY night. We were living on a Prayer, Never saying Goodbye and he went down in a Blaze of Glory...we were meant to be together. Now? Still hot. At least ONE of the hot rockers still has a career and aged well or I'd be a TOTAL failure.



Christian Slater - Hello? Did you NOT see Pump up the Volume? Gleaming the Cube? Heathers? I loved the way he talked, dressed, acted, smoked...*le sigh*



Patrick Swayze - forget it. If you don't know why I'm not telling you. I'd have carried watermelons to see him any day. Uh huh.



What about you??

Easter Baskets

I was kindly given a virtual Easter Basket from Heather at Ramblings & More and Summur at Braley Mama! Thanks, Heather & Summur! Now the scoop.

It is meant to be passed on, and it's for a great cause! Would you like to help raise $5,000 for the Children's Miracle Network? It doesn't get easier than this! Hershey's will donate $10 for each post in this blog hop between March 18, 2010 and April 4, 2010! Just include the following instructions with your post:

* Copy and paste these rules into your blog post.
* Create a blog post giving a virtual Easter Basket to another blogger – you can give away as many Virtual Baskets as you want.
* Link back to the person who gave you an Easter Basket.
* Let each person you are giving a Virtual Easter Basket know you have given them a Basket.
* Leave your link at the BetterBasket.info/BlogHop comment section. You can also find the official rules of this blog hop and more information about Better Basket with Hershey’s there.
* Hershey’s is donating $10 per each blog participating to the Better Basket Blog Hop to Children’s Miracle Network (up to total of $5,000 for blog posts written by April 4th, 2010).
* Please note that only one blog post by each blog url will count toward the donation.

As of today $3,040 has been pledged.

For the record, I have no idea who all has and has not received this before me. So, if I pass this on to someone who already has it, my apologies! I am passing mine on to the following bloggers:

Annie at Purple Moose Tracks
Bridget at Among the Chaos
Dana at From Chaos to Grace
Stephanie at Life is a Miracle
Dawn at P.S. He Loves You
Heidi at Tayterjaq's Rebels

Happy Easter & spread the love!

What're the chances ...

... that people will think this .... thing ... that has sprung up between my eyebrows is just where my horn goes and that I'm actually a unicorn in disguise? You know, like when a mermaid comes on land but can't get wet or her legs turn back into a tail? Or like a centaur only I'm 95% human and 5% unicorn.


Maybe it's just a third eye. I can freak people out and use 3 fingers to point to my eye area and say, "I'm watching you.", while I point the three fingers at them.



Perhaps it's a rare glimpse into the workings of my brain and Rob could take a glimpse, like a crystal ball.


Or a magic 8 ball. If I shake my head after you ask me a question, you'll get your answer.


Maybe I'll just put a Bindi dot on it and call it good.



Crap. Guess I'll just walk around with a volcano on my forehead.

Do you read me??

So I warned you that I was gonna do a little book review post and since my friend Megan said Ok - that was all the encouragement I needed! So, here ya go Megan! And, yk, anyone else that's interested. ;-)

I like different kinds of books but I don't generally read non-fiction. I read to escape not to be made aware of other reality. Also, I almost never re-read a book. Read it once and then I'm done. Finished. Kaput. I already know how it ends so what's the point in reading it again?!?

Friday Night Knitting Club - good chick lit about friends and life. I was not enamored with the ending (I may have thrown the book, who knows.) but I still really liked the book and am on the wait list for the sequel. 4 out of 5 stars.

Sweet Ruin - I picked this book up on a whim at Borders in the discount bin one day. It was ok. There were aspects of it that I liked but I felt like the author tried to cram too many disasters into the book and didn't fully address them, yk? The writing wasn't terrible, I just thought the author was a little overambitious with the subject matter. 3 out of 5 stars.

Good in Bed - NOT a porn book, I promise. LOL I really liked this book. I love Jennifer's writing - she's quick witted and sarcastic and funny. But she goes to that deep, dark place and isn't scared of shadows, either. Good stuff. On the wait list for the sequel, Certain Girls. 4 out of 5 stars. Also, if you like chick lit that isn't too fluffy then you should definitely read any of Jennifer's books!

Ask Again Later - This was a good book - I enjoyed reading it. I picked it up because I really liked her first book, Girls' Poker Club. It didn't make me think or anything, it was just a good, quick read. 4 out of 5 stars.

Bright Lights, Big Ass: A Self-Indulgent, Surly, Ex-Sorority Girl's Guide to Why it Often Sucks in the City, or Who are These Idiots and Why Do They All Live Next Door to Me? - oddly enough, this is non-fiction. A memoir of sorts, you could say. I had heard about this author/blogger from a friend and the title of the book was fabulous, so I picked it up. I liked the book. It was pretty good - and definitely had funny parts. I picked up the next book from her, Bitter is the New Black : Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass,Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office and didn't finish it. It was sarcastic and witty at the beginning, like her first book, but petered out at the end. I ended up taking myself OFF the wait list for her other two books. But, people have RAVED about her books and how funny she is so who knows, you might like her. 3 out of 5 stars for the first book, 2 out of 5 for the second.

Slummy Mummy - couldn't get into it. Didn't even get halfway through it before I put it up on Paperback Swap. No stars.

Liar's Diary - Great book. I really liked it and am looking forward to reading more from this author! 5 out of 5 stars. Publish another book SOON Ms. Francis!

The Almost Moon - I picked this book up because I thoroughly enjoyed reading this author in her previous books The Lovely Bones and Lucky. I did not enjoy this book at all, and found it to be tedious to read, so I didn't finish. I highly recommend her other books, but not this one.

Comfort Food - this book is by the same author of The Friday Night Knitting Club and the reason I picked that book up. It was a good, fun, quick read. 4 out of 5 stars.

Turning Tables - Kind of like a fiction Nanny Diaries of the restaurant business. It was witty, funny and a quick read. (Sense a theme with me, yet? HA!) 4 out of 5 stars.

Good Gravy, this is getting long, isn't it? Ok - how about this - the following are authors that I NEVER miss. I read everything (well, nearly) they put out:

Jodi Picoult - duh, You knew that was coming, right? She's brilliant. There are times I have to put the book I'm reading down and walk away, to remind myself that what is happening in the book is NOT happening in my life. I am currently awaiting the arrival of her newest book, House Rules and I can not WAIT. Her most recent novels Handle With Care, Nineteen Minutes, Change of Heart, and Vanishing Acts are amazing. I didn't love Tenth Circle and didn't read Wonder Woman. Her early stuff is just as good as the most recent things. I will STRONGLY encourage you, though, to actually read the book My Sister's Keeper if you've only seen the movie. I promise, it's worth it.

Amanda Eyre Ward - she's a newer author for me. I read one of her books, based on a review I read in People magazine, and then I quickly snatched up everything she's written and devoured it. LOVE her. How to Be Lost, Sleep Toward Heaven, Forgive Me and even the short story compilation of Love Stories in this Town. Loved them ALL, but How to Be Lost was my favorite. Can't wait for her to write something else!

Elizabeth Berg - oh, How I love Ms. Berg. These aren't light reads - like Jodi Picoult and Amanda Eyre Ward. These are books you invest in. Stories you get tangled in. Open House was my first read. Please don't let the fact that it was an Oprah pick detour you. It is a fabulous book. From there I read everything previous and continued to read whatever novels she put out. I've currently got The Last Time I Saw You on my Wish List to read.

Jill Kargman - she's not deep. Quite the contrary, she's fluffy. She's a fun read. She delves into the lives of the uber-rich and utterly spoiled in New York with a caustic tongue. It's pure fantasy for me. Trash. HA! GOOD trash - don't take that wrong! I started with Momzillas and then read The Ex-Mrs. Hedgefund. Then I went back and read the books she wrote with Carrie Karasyov, Wolves in Chic Clothing and The Right Address. I haven't read her teen-lit stuff, though. And, just by going to her site right now, I discovered there's a new book and I'm gonna run and place it on my wish list right quick!

So, you know I like fluffy chick lit stuff and I like the deep, dark twisty stories that rip your guts out. But, I also like books by men. HA! HA HA! Like these:

James Patterson - I heart him. I wish he'd stop partnering with people to write, though. I want to see something from HIM and just him, again. I specifically like his Alex Cross series (you might've seen the movies Along Came a Spider or Kiss the Girls). I NEVER miss those. And I really like the Women's Murder Club series. His newer series featuring Michael Bennett is fab, too. His books are the fastes reads EVER. You speed through the book to get to the end. I don't read his Maximum Ride or Daniel X series and probably won't read his Witch & Wizard book. I'm just not into the sci-fi-ish stuff, but if you are you might really like them!

John Sandford - LOVE the Prey series. but have read every single one of his fiction books published to date. I'm currently waiting to receive Storm Prey so I can eat that one up!

Jeffrey Deaver - I started with his Lincoln Rhyme series and went from there. Remember the movie The Bone Collector? Based on his first Lincoln Rhyme novel. I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of Roadside Crosses from his Kathryn Dance series and just put The Burning Wire on my wish list.

Johnathan Kellerman - Another series love. LOL Alex Delaware. LOVE those books. I also enjoy reading his wife, Faye Kellerman's, books. In fact, my blog name is the name of one of her novels and one of my very first blogs was called Milk & Honey which is also the name of one of her novels.

Harlan Coben - he writes twisty, turny, suspenseful mystery. Oh look, another series author - HA! Myron Bolitar is awesome. Harlan's stand alone books are great, too. I've got his newest novel, Caught, on my wish list.

Michael Connelly - Another mystery series (Harry Bosch is my favorite) writer that's just too good to pass up! I've got his 9 Dragons on my wish list and just added The Reversal, as well.

I guess that's enough. I could still go on! These are just books from the past 6-9 months. Well, except my favorite authors - those span over the years.

I just realized I didn't even mention my favorite Christian Fiction like Terri Blackstock, Dee Henderson, the Yada Yada Prayer Group series. Just to mention a few.

What do you think? Got an author or book to recommend? Have you read any of the above books? Got an opinion to add?? What're you reading RIGHT NOW??

How about a little check in, blah blah blah, post? Sounds good to me.

Had a Dr's appointment last Friday. I'm 13 weeks now - Helllloooo 2nd Trimester!! The cysts has shrunk from 5.4 cm to 1.5 cm so I've been taken off all restrictions (did ya'll hear Rob shout for joy on Friday??? His prayers have been answered!). Baby is looking great, everything is good. I don't want to talk about whether or not I've been as sick as I was, though, ok? Because if I talk about it then I might jinx myself. *wink wink nudge nudge*

Work is work.

Kids are good. I don't want to talk about the health status of any of them right now, though. That jinx thing, again.

Spring is here one day and gone the next. Snow today, 60 and sunny tomorrow. The weather is schizophrenic.

I'm in one of my reading moods lately. I've blown through a ton of books recently and am SOOO excited to be getting a package of 3 books from my friend Lori. These are books I've been anxiously anticipating but the wait list is forever long. Can't WAIT to get them and get started! I should a do a quick book review post, eh? And you all can pretend you care! It'll be fun!

Did I tell you my computer died? I can't remember. But it did. So I'm on Rob's laptop and he's not all that thrilled about it. But he's a sweet, loving husband and he doesn't mind sharing with me. Too much. Computer geeks are soooo possessive of their computers.

We got a new bed on Friday. We spent all last week looking since our mattress was trying to kill us in our sleep. Those Tempurpedic beds are sweet! But $3500-$5,000 for a bed?! Good gravy and a loaf of bread! For that price it needs to make itself and clean the room it's in. It would be helpful if it could cook, too. We ended up with a regular old mattress that seems pretty comfy. It's really HOT though, to me. Dunno if it's the pg hormones or what.

Oh, pg hormones. Yehaw. I managed to escape the horrible acne problems of adolescence. Oh, I had a zit here and there but nothing major. Don't throw stuff at me because pregnancy brings out the acne full force. And it isn't just sticking to my face. My chest, my back...my arms! Come ON! I'm 34 years old and pregnant! We can't skip the acne just this once?!

I could ramble on for hours, but I'll spare you.

Have a Tuesday!

Dear Neighbor Kids,

I love that you all hang out at my house, I do. Really, really, really. But unless you start leaving me substantial tips I'm not cleaning up after you any longer. You are ALL old enough to pick up your own crap. I don't care that at your house your mom does it for you - I'm obviously NOT your mom and I am not going to do it for you. If you can't pick up after yourselves then, yk what? Go home.

While we're discussing trashed houses and yards, let's talk about how clean my house is, ok? Of course your house is cleaner than mine. There are 2, maybe 3 of you total living in your residence. There are six of us including the entire neighborhood of kids filtering through here. And you're all slobs. I sweep and vacuum at least twice a day. I pick up the downstairs and play areas probably 3-4 times a day. I have to clean the downstairs bathroom everytime I use it because you guys have no idea how to pee IN the toilet put the towel back on the rack and clean your grubby handprints from things. Also, memo to whoever wipes their boogers on the wall? I will find you and you will be forced to lick them off if this keeps up. *gag*

The other day? When I made you all do chores because I was tired of doing it all myself? That's going to become the new norm around here. I've decided if you're here enough to make the messes and eat all my damned food, then you're here enough to get a chore. In fact, I'm making a chore jar especially for you all today.

Oh, let's talk about the food, shall we? I don't mind feeding ya'll a snack or two. Or if you're here for a meal I don't mind serving you up a plate - I'm happy to do it! But this ain't no restaurant and my name ain't Flo. You eat what we eat and you don't waste it. We don't snack all day long and we eat these interesting things called fruits and veggies so get used to it. I'll also be implementing a new policy: I'm writing your name on every snack you take outside. That way when I find the wrapper in the yard I don't have to listen to everyone deny it's theirs and see white flashing lights in my brain from all the lies. I can just call you out and make you accountable. It'll be fun!

Like I said, I love that you all play over here - but when there are four of my own plus the 3-11 of you at any given time? I need some help from you guys.

Oh! Also? To the parent that came to my door and said, 'Oh! You cleaned!' - Bite me. I clean EVERY DAY. Ev-ery day. More than once. Your house is neat because you make your kids do chores before school and then they stay at my house after school. Don't come to my house and insult me. Go home. Stay there. I don't want to be friends with you. Patooey.

See you all after school, I'm making Coconut cookies!

heidi

P.S. Quit breaking crap, ok? It's staring to really tick me off.

Dying to Live

What is the deal with all of this "Live like you're dying" crap? There's songs about it by the likes of Tim McGraw, Lenka and Kris Allen. There's books about it. Church movements, campaigns, sermons, series and bible studies. It's never ending!

I get the jest of it. I get the point -you never know if you'll be here tomorrow so make sure you do and say the things you need to today. Sure, ok, sounds good on the surface, right? But I have an issue with it.

What kind of person has an issue with a concept as simple as that? As pure as getting the most out of your life? The kind of person like me, I guess.

Why do we have to pretend we're dying to show kindness to others? Why do we have to imagine that we're on our death bed to offer forgiveness to other people or to seek forgiveness for ourselves? Why is it that we need the imaginary threat of imminent death to be the kind of people we need to be??

Shouldn't we live like we're living? If we live like we're living then we should still be kind to others and do the things on our bucket or life lists. We should still offer and seek forgiveness and not hold grudges. We should try to live our life to the fullest and make sure that our affairs are in order. We should live our lives in the place they need to be.

Why do we need to be dying to be decent human beings? Isn't there something wrong with that concept? And I want to question the sincerity of it all - if you can't be a kind, decent, moral human being without the threat of death then is it really sincere?? Or is it fear?

"If I wasn't dying I'd be a different person."

"Before I was dying I was a mean/rude/judgmental/vengeful person."

I suppose if you absolutely NEED that incentive to be a good person, then here ya go: You're dying. We're all dying. It's called the circle of life. You don't need to imagine that you have cancer or heart disease or, I dunno, scurvy because we're all gonna die. So live like a nice person. Forgive, move on, be kind, don't judge, etc.

Oh, and P.S.? Garth Brooks brought this up way before any of the rest of them.

Ponder me this....

Last night I was riding in the van with Rob while he was listening to *gag* talk radio. The host was railing on and on about ethics and morals and "situational ethics" which got me wondering a few things. (Hang with me for the dry stuff here for a sec. I have questions!)

First of all, what's the difference between ethics and morals?

Ethic - a set of moral principles : a theory or system of moral values
Moral - a) of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior b) sanctioned by or operative on one's conscience or ethical judgment

Got that? Morals rely on one's own perception of what is right and wrong and ethics are a system of moral values generally dictated by society (business ethics, medical ethics, political ethics, etc).

So, my questions are these:

Can ethics be situational? I mean, do they change from situation to situation? Or do your ethics remain the same regardless of the situation?

Morally you're against killing people but you support the death penalty. Is that situational ethics?

Can you be for the death penalty but against abortion? Aren't both acts of taking another life? (WAIT! Don't do it - because I KNOW you want to debate the point at which life begins.) If that doesn't ring for you then how about the death penalty and euthanasia? Can you be for one and against another?

Can you morally think that homosexuality is wrong but ethically be opposed to the legal discrimination of homosexuals?

Can you morally be opposed to birth control but ethically think that certain people be sterilized?

Is lying by omission to gain favor morally or ethically wrong? Can you lie in certain situations and justify it while morally being opposed to lying?

What do you think? Can ethics be situational? What about morals?

And when the kids are old enough, we're gonna teach them to fly.

I love this song. I love it for a lot of reasons but mostly I love it because it reminds me of Rob. Isn't that sweet and schmarmy? That's what pregnancy does to me, people. It makes me all soft and mushy and, yes, I even hug more. Further proof that hormones are wicked.

"You and me, together, we can do anything...baby.."

That's how I feel with Rob. We've been through a lot together. We've lost babies and family members. We've had unspeakable things happen to us and our family. We've been essentially homeless, relying on the generosity of family members for a place to stay. We've lost each other. We've been sick and poorer than dirt. But, with God's grace, we pull through.

Sienna told me the other day that she thinks God gives us all a GPS system to find the person that He has meant for us to be with forever. And that when you finally get to where this person is, your GPS system will let you know that you've arrived at your destination. I agree.

Rob wasn't the sort of guy I would have been interested in, when we met. Getting me to Montana from Utah was a fiasco of epic proportions. But, for some reason I was hired at the same company he worked with no real qualifications. I worked there only long enough to forge a relationship with him, and then I promptly lost my job. We went out to lunch one day and dinner that night and have hardly been apart, since. My GPS system told me that I was home.

And I am home. Rob and I are meant to be together - I believe it's written in something greater than any of us can comprehend.

He and I? Together? We can do anything.

You and Me
Dave Matthews Band

Wanna pack your bags, Something small
Take what you need and we disappear
Without a trace we'll be gone, gone
The moon and the stars can follow the car
and then when we get to the ocean
We gonna take a boat to the end of the world
All the way to the end of the world

Oh, and when the kids are old enough
We're gonna teach them to fly

You and me together, we could do anything, Baby
You and me together yes, yes (x2)

You and I, we're not tied to the ground
Not falling but rising like rolling around
Eyes closed above the rooftops
Eyes closed, we're gonna spin through the stars
Our arms wide as the sky
We gonna ride the blue all the way to the end of the world
To the end of the world

Oh, and when the kids are old enough
We're gonna teach them to fly

You and me together, we could do anything, Baby
You and me together yes, yes

We can always look back at what we did
All these memories of you and me baby
But right now it's you and me forever girl
And you know we could do better than anything that we did
You know that you and me, we could do anything

You and me together, we could do anything, Baby
You and me together yeah, yeah
Two of us together, we could do anything, baby
You and me together yeah, yeah
Two of us together yeah, yeah
Two of us together, we could do anything, baby

The sun is falling till it leaves the end of the world

You're NOT Starving! Kids in AFRICA are Starving!!!

I'm not sure if we wanna blame the pregnant hormones or if I'll win an award for this one, but I'm coming clean.

Tuesday, Cara and the girls I watch came home from school. As always, I had a snack waiting for them when they walked in the door. On that particular day I laid out a granola bar and a gogurt for them. After they finished their snack, Cara began whining about being starving. I told her too bad, that they didn't need to eat an entire meal after school and that dinner was only an hour and a half away. She'd live. This is a daily argument!

She threw herself on the floor, all dramatic, and started writhing around going, "I'm starving to death! I'm so hungry I'm going to DIE! I'm STARVING!!!"

I told her to get her butt up and get her chores done. She just kept at it. Then the other girls were like, "Oh, we're starving, too."

And I dunno what happened - one of those bright white flashes of light in my brain went off - it was just too much for me to listen to any longer. So I dragged them, all three, over to the laptop and I googled "starving child". And I made them look. At multiple images.

I said, "You three are NOT starving. THOSE children are starving. They are so hungry they eat weeds and grass they find growing on the ground."

Cara was all, "Mom. It's not the same."

I said, "No, it's not, at all. You eat more in ONE DAY than this kid eats in a month - maybe even a year."



They were all staring at the screen and I told them, "I never want to hear any of you say that you're starving to death again. None of you even knows what it means to be starving. Hungry? Sure. Starving? Not even close."

So, yk, I'm not sure if this was a good object lesson or not, but I really hope it was effective.

My next plan? When they tell me they have NOTHING to do - I'll sit them in a room with absolutely nothing in it and tell them NOW they have nothing to do. HA! I'm kidding. But OY! that drives me batty, too!

The Rules

One of the cool things about becoming a parent is that you get to make the rules. You get to take a look at all the rules your parents made for you and decide if they actually made sense or if they were as ridiculous as you thought they were. Then? You get to throw them out the window.

For instance, I was not allowed to wear black or bright red nail polish. Why? Because only goths wear black nail polish and bright red was for grown ups. Sienna asked to buy some black polish and I instantly said no. She asked why and I said, I have no idea. So we bought the black and both painted our nails. Threw that dumb rule out the window.

I had to have 24 hour notice to do things as a kid. And by things I mean I couldn't come home after school and say that so-and-so wants me to come over and spend the night/play tonight (Friday) or even go roller skating. The answer was no unless I had asked the required 24 hours (or close to it) in advance. After having spent some time in the trenches with kids that are developing social lives, we've modified this rule. We appreciate 24 hours notice but it's not required. We understand that things pop up but we're not going to accommodate every single thing that the kids ask to do. The answer, though, is not automatically no if you don't ask early enough.

At sleepovers I had to be home the next day by 10am. TEN AM. Do you understand that people are not even dragging themselves out of bed yet? I would have to get up and leave before my friends even woke for the day. I also was not allowed to come home and take a nap or anything, even if we had nothing going on for the day - I wasn't allowed to sleep. What was the purpose of these rules? I mean, really? They make NO SENSE to me. Obviously we've tossed these bad boys out the window, too. Sis had her first slumber party this weekend and we ended it at noon. The girls came stumbling out of bed between 10-10:30 and had a few hours to clean up and finish hanging out. Had sis wanted to take a nap yesterday, I would have let her as long as she got her chores done first. She opted not to, but the option was there.

Rob's rules were even weirder and seriously more strict so we've tossed pretty much most of those out and adopted our own.

I'm not saying our parent's rules didn't make sense, I'm just saying that ALL of their rules didn't make any sense. Sometimes I think they didn't think they made sense either, but didn't want to appear weak or wishy-washy so they didn't do anything to change them. WE have a policy that if the kids think a rule is unfair, they can challenge it. Oh, but not immediately and not in a whiney way. Nay. They have to come up with LOGICAL reasons why it doesn't make sense. "All my friends get to" is not considered logical OR admissible. In fact, if you throw that out I'm pretty much gonna just leave the rule as it is no matter what because that just pisses me off. In the event that the rule is proven to not make sense then we will reconsider and either modify the rule or throw it out entirely.

What were some of the rules your parents had that you have decided made no sense so you don't impose them upon your kids? Have you found yourself spouting off your parent's rules only to realize you have no idea why it's a rule?

Dirty Little Secret

We all know I'm knocked up by now, right? And that I've been really sick. Those two things are NOT secret. At all. But I really feel the need to address the issue of morning sickness with a little less..um...tact.

When you hear that someone has "morning sickness" you imagine the usual things, right? Nauseousness, saltines, ginger ale and a chick with her head in the toilet. Pretty universal. Well, I'm here to inform the world that this is NOT the only way that morning sickness can manifest itself. Let's stop romanticizing it and take off our blinders, shall we?

I think that the pregnancy books and sites do the women of the world a disservice when they discuss morning sickness. They don't really address how debilitating it can be - how it can rob you of days of your life. You think I'm exaggerating? Eh, not this time. I know women that have had to be hospitalized because they simply can NOT keep any sort of nutrition in them. Women that can hardly move during their "sick" period. Work is missed, functions go unattended, duties are left behind.

There are some women that think they're made of sterner stuff - "Morning sickness? Sure I felt a little queasy but I just must be stronger than other women because I didn't let it run my life." Well good for you. Yay. Gold star, cartwheel, cookie. May your labor show you just how strong you really are. What? Sarcasm? Moi?

Anyway - apparently I can't even focus on the topic at hand because I'm going in the wrong direction. Let me back-up.

Morning sickness. Nausea. Throwing up. All that good stuff.

So, you hear about it or read about it or your DOCTOR talks to you about it and it's all about "eat some crackers, don't have an empty stomach, don't get dehydrated blah blah blah." But what they do NOT say is that morning sickness does not always manifest itself in the barfing kind of way. No. Nay. It does not. Sometimes? Sometimes you just get endless and horrific diarrhea.

Yeah, that's right. Sometimes you are so damned nauseous that you WISH you could throw up, but you don't. And you're so damned thirsty you feel like you could drink a gallon of water, but you can't. You get dehydrated, but not because you can't eat. Nah. Instead you spend your days running to the bathroom, not to puke, but for some reading time. Only you can't read because you can't hold on to the toilet seat and a book at the same time. It always amazes me the violence with which your body can expel things. Snot during a sneeze? Puke after you've had a little too much? And, yeah, excrement.

So the next time you ask me how I'm feeling and I say that I'm feeling shitty? Believe me, I mean it.

And to whoever wished 3 months of explosive diarrhea on me? I can't tell you how sorry I am for whatever I've done to you. Please, please forgive me and remove this curse.

Oh. And if you visit my house? Steer clear of the downstairs bathroom. It's mine and I use it frequently and without warning.

Help! I'm nauseated, and I can't function!

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Only 3-4 more weeks of this, if I'm lucky.

Oh, dear Lord, can't I just sleep through the next 4 weeks?

C'mon 2nd trimester!!

I'm going to go die on the couch now.