Dear Child that Is Not Mine:
I'm steadily losing patience, here. I'm all about being stern with a side of love, but I'm about to kick that side of love to the curb - just for you. I'm not sure what your malfunction is but you need to have it checked out, looked at and fixed - post haste.
Quit fighting with the 2 year old. He's two - you're sufficiently older than two. Attempt to act like it.
STOP tormenting the almost 4 year old. I see what you're doing, I'm not a blind, deaf, clueless, dingbat. People on the moon can see what you're doing, just so he'll get in trouble, it's that obvious.
English is NOT your second language. You are NOT deaf. We have NO language barrier. Thus, I expect that you will start paying attention and listening when I speak to you or tell you what to do. Pretending that you somehow did not understand the command, "Leave her alone until she's done with her chores." Or the equally simplified, "Don't hang on that." will heretoforth be seen as the outright defiance that they are when you decide to disregard each command.
It's Hammer Time.
heidi
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Dear Costco Management:
While shopping at your store (warehouse?) I do not feel that it is the place of your clerks to give my children anatomy lessons. You currently have a check out clerk that has a very detailed picture on her (yes, HER) left forearm of a naked lady. Well, Naked except for the strategically placed stars on her nipples and vaginal area. This tattoo is plain as day for the entire populace of those visiting Costco to see. It is vulgar and offensive. It would be no different than if your clerk was wearing a T-Shirt with the same picture on it, which I am beyond confident is against company policy. While buying strawberries, bagels and potatoes I do not appreciate then also havign to explain to my children why some chick has titties tattooed on herself. Perhaps you could require this clerk to have her tattoo covered while working? I'm sure I'm not the only one that would appreciate it.
Consumerly Yours,
heidi
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Dear People of the World:
Life would be easier if you would just do what I ask and behave how I expect. Please work on that IMMEDIATELY because I don't know how much longer I can put up with such insolence.
Why do you torment me?
heidi
Thursday, July 1, 2010
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19 comments:
We should print that last letter on cards to hand out to people...seriously! ;-)
Feeling your pain on the first two, totally empathizing on the third one!! :D
Have a great 4th of July weekend, Heidi!
I totally hear ya. Why can't people just behave and act in a respectful manner? Not too much to ask.
"dear people of the world"...lol! You are so funny. I am sorry that your pain causes me to laugh. Please forgive me? All those things would for sure make me angry too. I hate when my daughter acts like she can't hear me, then I began to yell. I think this child may need a spank:O)
That tattoo sounds very tasteful:) I can't even imagine what my boys would say if they saw something like that! And if you figure out how to deal with the child that isn't yours, please share how because I swear my oldest acts just like that way too often!
Why, why, why would a woman do something so degrading as tattoo herself with a naked woman? You should take your complaint to management!
well..ok..it's the thrid tri now, right? tee hee..kick up your heels and eat some bon bons..the rest will be there later ;)
Holy crap, I read Dear People of the World and I thought OMG that's me...I'm going to get hollered at. Then I read what you wrote and I thought holy crap, she's my twin!
Happy Summer.
Hee hee! You know I love you! ;-)
The Costco thing - um, yeah. I would agree with you there. It'd be enough to compel me to take my business elsewhere. Do you have a Sam's Club nearby?
I so agree.
Oh. Good. Lord. on the tattoo, I can't believe something hasn't been said or done on that front already!
And yes, life would be so much better if people would just behave the way we want them to. If you corner that one, let me know!
Hope you're feeling well!
As Ray says often... I have no words for this. I'm sorry for laughing at your pain. Takes one to know one.
What a fabulous post. I just love your sense of humor. I really enjoyed the letter to the people of the world.
Thanks for the laugh and have a great day!
Amen Sister!!
Sounds like that child's mother needs to hear one of your letters too! Sheesh.
That last one really got me going. That is SO me!
I of course love a side of titties while buying my produce, lol!
Seriously sick, sick, about the costco thing. Yes, have the tattoo, who cares, but COVER IT when working at a place like that!
seriously? the LADY has a lady on her arm. interesting.
I would tell "child that's not yours" that they can't come over any more! You have enough to deal with policing your own kids!
Seriously can't belive they let her show that tattoo at work. I might say something to management if I were you!
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