Redneck pick up lines:
Yesterday, while walking out of Albertsons, I noticed a truck drive by me and turn around. I continued on my merry way and started loading my 3 year old and groceries into the van. The truck made one pass and came back by. This time, he stopped. He rolled down his window and he yelled, "You have a GREAT ass!" and then just sat there in his truck like a puppy waiting for his treat.
Giddy-up.
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Man Hands:
Today I was sitting in the dentist chair receiving an emergency root canal. (Good times.) After having a raging infection that spread to my sinus area and caused my face to swell, I was HAPPY for the root canal that would murder my tooth. But, uh, I have TMJ so I can't open my mouth very wide so sitting for a prolonger period with my mouth open and someone yanking on it to get it open wider just isn't fun, no matter HOW numb you are. I decided that having a female dentist with small hands would have been a better idea. That led me to think of two other professions where smaller hands might be preferred.
An OB/GYN - cause, yk, it's uncomfortable enough as it is but when someone is in there up to the wrist, I prefer a smaller hand.
Proctologist - well, I mean...If you've GOT to have someone go THERE wouldn't it be nicer if the hands were small and slendy instead of meaty and massive??!
Exactly.
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OK, so I'll be back with an explanation soon.
Mwah!
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17 comments:
Root canals stink....mine was no fun and I didn't have an infection or TMJ! I hope it is feeling better now:) I think you should probably take the guy driving by more than once as a huge compliment...even if it was a really bad pickup line!
I love that you find humor in anything! I needed to smile tonight thanks!
back atcha babe! hurry back!
Wow...just wow!
I deal with TMJ issues, too. I totally agree with you on all the points you made above! ;-)
OK...meaty hands are just nasty. LOL YOu are a hoot.
I just adore you....and your humor.
=)
Ewww sorry to hear about the mouth pain, but at least you have a great ass. Did you throw him a bone?
So. . . . I'm guessing that the guy in the truck was NOT Mr. Heidi?? Yeee Haw.
And the man hands? That's why I went with a midwife. (Not really, but . . . it was a good part of it.)
I'm really sorry you are having such pain with your teeth. I hope you will be back to your self soon!!
Wow, that was a head to toe review!
Sorry my cousin bothered you. I'll have his sister-wife hit 'im over the noggin for ya.
I'm with Purplemoose on the midwife. They are all about NO hands. That's my kind 'o check up.
Now if were such things as mid-dentists, they could talk you through the pushing out of your own teeth with the least amount of interference possible. There would still be pain, but no one would be cramming their hands where the sun also doesn't shine, and so you'd be able to root your own canal in half the time with minimal recovery.
I'll check into that, too...
P.S. I miss reading your posts, and hope all is okay. Do what you gotta do, girl. We love ya!
Yuck ... Men!
Oh man. If that person had done that to me with my kids I would have poked his eyes out with the keys!!! LOL ;)
That whole root canal thing is absolutely monstrous. Hope you are feeling better (about the tooth anyway)
T
you make me laugh.
Yep, my midwife is no-hands until the very end. And then ONLY if I agree. Of course during labor it's another story. And when you're having a baby every year, what's the point of a check-up? :)
Seriously, the small hands thing is right on.
And the truck driver? lol Sounds like some guy from where I grew up!
Are those two stories somehow related or is the first one just for fun? I mean you don't really need an excuse to brag about a great ass!
Ok, I really love it when people tell me I have a great ass. Not like it happens that often...
He might have been creepy, but at least that Red Neck had good taste.
Grrrrrr! ;)
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