Look, I'm standing Naked before you...

When I started this blog, it was for fun. I missed blogging and writing and, well, having an audience (yes, I'm shallow). Then as it picked up in popularity I thought,"Hey! Maybe I can take this somewhere and do something with it!". So, I worked at that for awhile. Made sure my blog was doing all the right things and had all the right hits. Built up followers - tried to engage everyone so that it wasn't just a pit-stop but a place people wanted to sit down and stay awhile. I worked hard at connecting with people and making my blog what I wanted it to be.

Six years ago something terrible happened in our family. Someone came into our home and attacked our family. We lived with the not knowing while he was on the run and then we dealt with the laughable "justice" system for nearly a year trying to put him away. We moved to a different city.

This last October, he was released from prison.

I spent September and October ensuring that safety plans were in place, Orders of Protection were current and on file in all the right places and that all of our bases were covered. I've spent the following months dealing with the emotional aspects of it all and with other issues that have come up that I just can't discuss, here.

I've felt stifled and suffocated as I couldn't talk about something that was affecting my life so much. Things I've wanted to just say, but can't. It's been a difficult lesson in thinking before I speak (post).

This past month I've wanted to just take my blog down, entirely. I have put so much information out there into the great, wide expanse that is the internet. Pictures of my children, stories, thoughts - it's all easily accessible. It got overwhelming and I just wanted to make it all go away.

But the thought of getting rid of my blog made be both sad and angry. SERIOUSLY angry. We've had to upend and change our lives because of what HE did - this was just one more thing piled onto a laundry list of ways our lives had to change in consequence for his choices and his actions. So, I've tried to compromise.

You will no longer find pictures of my children on this blog. I've also cleaned my photobucket account out, completely. I've deleted the tags with their names. I will no longer be referring to them by name or posting pictures of their faces. I took myself off of lists that drove traffic to my blog. I've told google and other search engines to stop crawling my site. I discontinued Friday Freebie and Blogstyle Iron Chef here (thankfully some lovely ladies have agreed to pick them up again!). In short, I'm trying to undo all the work from the past year.

But I'm not deleting my blog. Yet.

I'm no fool. If he wants to find information on us or wants to find us, he can. This is the digital age, after all, and there is a trail wherever you go. I'm just trying to make it a little harder for him - use cracker crumbs instead of whole loaves of bread.

Of course, there's a chance he'll never seek us out - and that would be fantastic - but I can't put money on that chance. I can't put my kid's safety on that chance.

So, now you know. I'll try to get back on track here as soon as I can. Thank you so much for all of the love and kindness you guys have shown me - especially to those of you that sensed something was up and sought me out. Much love, holmes.

Peace out.