G Spot

Oh come on. We all have one. Men, women - all of us. Some of them are bigger than others, some of them take ore work to get to - but we ALL have a G spot.

I'm referring, of course, to the spot in your life that makes you feel guilty.

Pervs.

I have been feeling a tremendous amount of guilt, lately. It's consuming me and just...making me bitter, damnit.

Why do I feel guilty? Well, for working instead of focusing more on my kids, duh. It's the age-old struggle, right? I have to work to pay for the kids but I want to stay home to be with the kids. What? Wait...I work from HOME? SO, then, what the hell is my problem, eh? I've got the best of both worlds! Time to suck it up, puton big girl undies and knock it off, right?

Bite me.

Sure, I work from home. I bet you have a romanticized view of what that means, dontcha? You think I can work when I want and attend all the girls' school functions. Bet you think I can run the boys to story time and the libery or the park or even just get down and play with them and then do my work during their naptime, eh?

Not so much. My job is one with finite shifts and hours that I HAVE to log in for. I don't get to say, 'Eh, I'll work more tonight to make up for missing this shift." No...I work when I'm scheduled or I don't have a job. So what happens is that my kids run amok in the house while I'm working these shifts and I get incredibly annoyed and irritated at the distractions and interruptions while I'm trying to focus.

My hours were cut in half this past week. At first I was LIVID. Oh, man...I was so freakin' mad that I got lippy and mouthy and got myself written up, yes I did. Because I'm a big fat donkey. Hee Haw. Then this week rolled around and yk what? I ENJOYED only working 20 hours. I got to play with the boys and take the kids to the park. I didn't have to try and fit Dr.'s appointments into strange slots and Sienna said, "Mom, you've been a lot nicer this week than you usually are."

Ouch.

My job stresses me out. This client that runs me repeatedly into a brick wall, head first, is killing me.

But I have to work. We have to be a two income family for this all to work out. ANd yk what? We don't even have fun little extras we can cut out (like cable?) to try and make it on one income - because we already cut those things out.

Yeah, I'm whining. So what?! I feel guilty for not paying enough attention to my boys. For not doing the things with them that I did with the girls when THEY were little. I feel guilty for being irritable and snappy. I feel guilty for not making school functions, even though Rob goes in my place. I feel guilty for too many things to list. But if I didn't work I'd feel guilty for Rob having to work two jobs just so I didn't have to. He'd kill himself so I could stay home and that just isn't fair, either.

I don't have a moral. There's no uplifting end to my tale of woe. I'm not looking for hugs (remember? no touching.) or anything. I'm just spewing my verbal vomit and whining.

I don't want to work anymore. *stomps feet*

Where's your G Spot?

Seriously Stupid.

It started one Saturday on the way to church. My boys were looking mighty darned cute so I wanted to take a picture. Stupid Mommy with Stupid ideas.

Stand by the wall boys, so mommy can take a picture!



B, look at me not brother!



Corban! Look at me! C'mon boys!



Darnit! Boys! B! Say Cheese!



Now knock it off! Mommy just wants ONE good picture. Please just stand still and smile at mommy!!




HA! "Good one B! Nice fart!"



Wanna see my Michael Jackson?



Forget it. Try sitting on this chair so you can't move. Good..let's try that..



Say Cheese!



What're you doing? Corban..sit down!



I give up. You can just get down.



Trying to take a picture of my 3 year old and 1 year old before church? Seriously Stupid.

The Big Easy

You know what I was wondering? You know that statement, "It'll get easier." Otherwise known as, "It gets easier."

Well, what about the statement, "It's going to get harder before it gets easier."

How do those two statements mesh? I mean...does it get harder or easier? And if it gets harder before it gets easier, then when it gets easier isn't it really just getting back to the way it was before it got harder? So then it's easier than it was when it was harder but not easier than it was originally. Right?

I guess things never get any easier, do they?

Friday Freebie Winner!!!

The Winner of Something Besides Spam is....






Congrats, Lauren! Email me your address and I'll pop it in the mail.

A Message for Brandi

Forgive my public venue, but I can't get ahold of you any other way. Perhaps I'm the only one having troubles but by the lack of comments on your blog, I'm gonna say no. I can't comment. *shrug* I dunno why. Your comments are broken.

Can anyone else comment over here: Okkar Life

If you can, can you let Brandi know she won the Friday Freebie a couple of weeks ago and that I need her to email me her mailing address?? Or, yk, if you're reading this Brandi - here's the comment I was trying to add today:

It's a pretty sad case. I think a lot of parents just expect that they send their kids to school all day and that's the end of their job as far as that is concerned. It's one of the main reasons the education system is failing our kids - it isn't just the teachers and faculty, it's the parents. And if the parents can't even show up to support their kids, how are they supporting them at home? They're not.

P.S. I still need your mailing address for your freebie. :-)

heidimt2003@gmail.com

Faboo.

You can now return to your regularly scheduled lives.

Amen.

With much Gnashing of Teeth

Since so many of you asked (how nice are YOU?!) I will update you on the dentist today instead of Monday, as planned.

First of all - last Saturday Sis broke her arm. Seriously. This kid is killing me. First she broke her tailbone. Then she refractured it. Then she got Acute Torticollis which lead to physical therapy which lead to them discovering her eyes not tracking right which lead to multiple MRIs which lead to an abnormality finding which lead us to SLC to a Pediatric Neurologist and an EEG which showed more abnormalities leaving us with a diagnosis of Heterotopia (when the grey and white matter don't seperate prior to birth in the brain. It's the leading cause of adolescent onset of seizures/epilepsy). (And the award for longest sentence goes to...me!) So, now we're back to the broken arm - well, it's really called a buckle fracture of the distal radius. She fractured her wrist being a boneheaded kid doing stupid tricks with her friends. Ah well, at least she's cute and really funny. The Dr. was resplinting her arm yesterday (they rarely hard cast anymore for wrist fractures, who knew?) and she was pushing on areas and moving stuff and SIenna was all "Ow! Ow! Ow!" and her Dr. goes "Where does it hurt?" And Sienna says, with a DUH sound in her voice, "Where I broke it?!". HA! Yeah, duh. Yesterday she also was diagnosed with asthma and now has an inhaler, as well. She's a mess. But she has pretty teeth.

So this morning I went to the dentist. Ahhhhh the dentist. Lovely fun. Great time.

He was a really nice guy, though, actually. He didn't scold me or chide me even though my teeth were horrific. He did say, "Wow! And I just told me daughter she couldn't go to Harvard - guess she can now!" Hardy har har.

Truthfully...it was painful. It hurt. Still hurts. Both the treatment plan and the unexpected root canal and filling I left the office with. To be fair, the root canal didn't hurt while I was getting it - but now the meds are wearing off and yeah..uh..it hurts. We'll hit Walmart for the RX when the boys wake up from nap. Promise.

Prognosis? Not good. We can't afford it. Can anyone afford dental work? I mean - seriously? Why is it so freaking expensive?? I had nearly $1000 worth of work done just today and I still need 3 more root canals, 4 crowns, a bridge, various fillings and a cleaning with whipped cream and a cherry on top.

Slap my butt and call me betty.

Guess how much all that adds up to?? No, really..guess in your head. Guess.

TEN FREAKING GRAND.

Ten Th-oooooooowwwwwwww-sand dollars.

Time to sell a Kidney, dear.

My insurance covers $1,000 per year.

My kids cost less than this. Maybe I'll just have another one of those, instead.

Friday Freebie!!!

It's Friday.

There's a Freebie.

It's a surprise.

Leave a comment and I'll send you something besides spam.

The end.

She's got Teeth like a Bulimic Meth Whore

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. I haven't been to the dentist in a long, long time. My teeth are, quite literally, rotting out of my face. It started right after Cara was born when I got an abscess and a gangrenous infection in my mouth. It's all gone down hill from there. However, we fall into that crack between being too poor to afford to go to the dentist and making too much to qualify for assistance. So, my teeth have always taken a back seat. To be fair, I play it off like it's not a big deal but I spend a lot of time in pain. Recently, the majority of my back teeth have been breaking off until I have nothing but exposed nerves and cavity filled caverns in my mouth. I can't wait anymore.

So, tomorrow I go in for an assessment and estimate. I expect root canals, bridges, caps, fillings and more. Oh, not all today, but that's what will be involved next year when our new flex kicks in. And they'll have to sedate me because I have terrible TMJ. Eight years ago I had the jaw of a 50 year old woman. Who knows how bad it is today.

It's not because I didn't take care of my teeth - I brushed and rinsed and went to the dentist. But...I did smoke and I did drink a lot of soda. I also used to throw up a lot. Bulemia for awhile and then just --yk...excessive drinking and stuff. *cough cough* Dont' tell my kids. The erodes your teeth, badly.

I'm scared. It's gonna hurt and I don't much like hurt. At least there's a baby at the end of child birth. I just really hope I finally have pretty teeth at the end of this ordeal. But mostly I'm just scared.

Helpful Hint from heidi

When putting the dishes from the dishwasher away, it is always helpful to ensure that they're clean, first. Otherwise you will have put away nearly all of them before it occurs to you that they are looking awfully dirty. Having the memory of a squirrel, you will have forgotten which dishes were actually JUST put away so you will end up washing a whole bunch of them by hand to make sure you got them all.

THis has been another Helpful Hint from heidi.


*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Dearest Rob:

Thank you for cleaning up after dinner and loading the dishwasher last night. If I could just add one more teeny step to that routine, I'd pee myself with glee. Can you please RUN the dishwasher, too?

MMMkay.

Thanks babe.

Caring Less About Of

My dad was something of a cliche king growing up. Only, he always got them wrong and mixed his metaphors. WHen we'd be sitting at the table for hours on end getting lectured, he'd throw those puppies out like bombs and I would silently sit in torture trying not to correct him. I'm convinced that is why I always feel compelled to correct people when they say them wrong.

My mom corrected our grammar at every turn. A few years ago she sent me a Christmas Card with a misspelling. I called her to point it out.

It physically pains me to hear people using words incorrectly. Or saying cliches or metaphors that they've twisted and don't make any sense. If you don't understand what they mean, should you really be using them anyway? Where is the responsibility? Who's holding these people accountable?!

I am.

Ok, not really, I just kind of silently make fun of them behind their backs and correct them in my head.

Except sometimes I say things out loud. Like the other day when someone was annoying me with their tale of woe and decided to say, "I could care LESS about the whole ordeal."

Really? You could? Then why are you spewing verbal vomit all over my floor? Huh? If you COULD care less then that would indicate that you are not, yet, at the end of your rope and are ready to take some more abuse until you get there.

Now, if you COULDN'T care less, then we could have this conversation.

See the difference?

"I could care less about my husband having an affair with his secretary." <---wrong
"I couldn't care less about my husband having an affair with his secretary." <---right

(Isn't that cliche in and of itself, anyway? HA!)

The other thing that drives me freaking INSANE generally happens in print more than verbally. Because verbally it can get passed off as being the contraction it was meant to be. Let me back up...

This pains me: "I could of gone to the concert but stayed home, instead."

You can't OF anything. How in the world could you have OF'd any darned thing? Huh? ANSWER ME!!

Listen people, it's could HAVE...thus the contraction could've which is where I think you people are getting tripped up. Could've vs Could Of. I can see it. It doesn't make it correct though. Of is a preposition, have is a verb. They are not interchangeable.

Stop it. All of you. Just...stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it.

Care MORE about Of...not LESS.

Sumer Lovin' Had me a Blast....

Time for a little Tribute Tuesday and this week we're paying homage to the Summer Vacay. Did you Staycay? Perhaps you're planning to SITScay? Maybe you just couldn't Cay less? Doesn't matter. Let me tell you about OUR summer vacation.

It was only KIND OF a vacation. We scheduled it around B's surgery and the majority of the time was spent in pre-op, post-op and actual op...and it was a special op.

Is it really a vacation if the whole time you are somewhere you're getting ready for and recovering from surgery? I think not.

Thankfully my parents took mercy on us and took us camping with them to Fairmont Hot Springs. We took a friend with us to share the experience.

All in all, it worked out ok. B got a golden penis (bet you wished you clicked that special ops link now, eh?) and we got to hang out at a hot springs resort for the weekend.

*phew* Vacay saved.

How was YOUR vacation???

I've got Moxie, Yes I do...

You've undoubtedly seen my SuperCoolAwesome new button on the left, right? Looks like this? And is clickable *hint hint*?



And you've undoubtedly asked yourself - "Why, self, whatever is that rascally heidi up to now?!"

Well, huh, wonder no more!

I've got Moxie - do you? What IS Moxie? It's courage, guts, energy, know-how, skill, initiative. I've been chosen to be apart of a SuperFreakinCool Media group because I exhibit moxierific qualities. Ya know, minus the energy and initiative. Also the know-how and skill. Basically, we don't know why I was chosen - perhaps those people that run the place are delusional? Most certainly.

It matters not. I was chosen and they can't take it back. They even sent me Mona, their mascot, so I could show her around The Big Sky State (know why it's called the Big Sky State? Cause we don't allow sky scrapers, yo, so you can always see the sky. That's how we roll.).



Mona got here right as we were leaving for our little 'end of summer blowout' with my parents. Lucky for her. otherwise it would have been a completely boring visit.



We took off in the ghetto van (note the cracked windshield? Necessary to be a ghetto van. The smooshed bugs are an added bonus.).



After awhile she was all "Dude, let ME drive for once." Pushy broad.



What? Yeah, we were goin' 80 - sort of. The speed limit is 75 here and we may add a bit to even things out. So what?

We took Mona over the Continental Divide. She didn't want to get out. She was all, "Do I LOOK like I'm here to hike?? Not in THESE boots thankyouverymuch."



The first night there, Mona was so shell shocked at being in the Great Wide Open that she got a little tipsy.



Not to worry, though, she was up and raring to go the next day. In fact, she spent some time playing a game with the girls:



Then we found her getting in touch with her roots and trying to hide from my kids in the TeePees at the campground.



We went ahead and took her with us to Fairmont Hot Springs, where she reFUSED to get in the water. Said she'd shrink or melt or something crazy like that. But she did enjoy just laying around relaxing to gear up for the rest of her travels.



Then it was back to life as usual here at the Potter house. And since I think it's super-important and I wasn't sure when her last one was, I took her in to the GYN with me for a yearly pap. I sure do know how to show my guests a good time, eh?



Woot! That girl flew out of her so fast it was ridiculous. You'd think she didn't have fun here with us. HA! Parting paps for everyone!!

Make sure you check out where else she has been lately and keep your eye out for other visits throughout the blogosphere this week. Want to see when she's landing in your state? Lolli from Better in Bulk has Mona's schedule posted so go check it out!

Hosted by:
Better in Bulk
Mama’s Losin’ It
Mayhem & Moxie
Scary Mommy
& 7 Clown Circus

Friday Freebie Winner!!!

According to Random.org our winner for this week is....

The WhisperingWriter who is ...



What a week for her! She doesn't have to move out here to the Wild West AND she wins a batch of Dora Loot that includes a hat, cup and purse. Yay you!

Next week? A Freebie with some Moxie.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

I am currently looking for a few people to guest host some upcoming Friday Freebies. If you're interested then please email me and let me know!

Friday Freebie!!

Another week, another freebie.

Are you tired of it, yet? Oh, ok..well, then...there's no freebie this week.









Just kidding. I just wanted you to beg me to come back. I'm starved for attention and stuff.

Before I had kids I used to say stuff like "TV will NOT be our babysitter!" No, I know, right? To be young and know everything once again..*wistful sigh*.

The TV is one of my closest friends..as you may have noticed. There are shows I love and shows I refuse to let air in this house.

Speaking of TV Shows...I love humor and comedy.

And my name is heidi.

I remember a funny post that another Heidi made a long while back and THAT is the inspiration for this week's freebie.

Go, read it and come back and tell me what the giveaway will involve. Go on, do it. GO ! GO! GO! That's good for 1 entry. Blog about this with my button in the post, then come back and let me know you did so for another entry.

Thanks for stopping by!

Crafty Little Notes

Since I was just ever so inspirational to MamaKat this week, *ahem*, then I thought I'd at least TRY and play along for once.

I'm not short on things I want to say; in fact, I recently did a vlog about the Top 10 Things I Want To Say (To People That Don't Care What I Have to Say).

If I could leave notes laying around for people to find, would they even get the point? Well, likely not but it made me feel better to post them.

Mine pale in comparison to Megan's notes. Hers were definitely sure to be noticed. Well, my last one would be noticed, that's for sure.

Seriously Secret.

I Love this song. Don't tell anyone. It's a secret. But I can relate. It's embarrassing to be blaring this song and singing it loud and proud with no kids in the car, but I do it nonetheless.

Love it.

Don't tell.

Secret.

Shhhhhhh.

So- there's my secret. This is one of my favorite songs.

Want to know another secret? I'm posting somewhere else on the web today. Isn't that sneaky of me? *wink wink nudge nudge*



You got a secret to share?

Helpful Hint from Heidi

Ever since I was 13 years old, I have wanted purple hair. Sometimes I wanted it all purple, other times I've just wanted highlights. My parents vetoed me when I was younger and then as I got older, it didn't seem like a good idea when I was out trying to work in the professional business world.

I tried to add purple highlights earlier in the year, but failed because they were too light and just blended into my hair. Then on Friday I tried again, going a *bit* darker at my visit to the Academy of Cosmetology. I left the school feeling elated - I LOVED my hair. Loved it. Rob? Eh...not so fond of the cut. What is it about guys wanting women to have long curly hair? It's just not practical for me right now. Wait a second..practical? Woo cares about practical - I just don't want to take care of long curly hair.

While we were there there was this older lady - probably about 80? Anyway..she was getting her hair done and she had them dye it VIOLET purple. And I meaan, IT. WAS. PURPLE. LOL I was like "Uh, was that a mistake? Does she KNOW her hair is purple?" And they told me she did know. She WANTED it purple. She's lived her life and now she's doing what she wants. She's pretty much housebound and was just looking for a little thrill. "Good for her!" I cheered in my head. Out loud I said, "That'll probably be me. By the time I get the courage to just say screw it and got purple, I'll be 80!" Hardy har har.

I don't WANT that to be me...I don't WANT to wait until I'm 80 to do things that other people might think are stange, dangerous or don't quite understand, damnit. I want to do them NOW while I can fully enjoy them.

But I have to ask you - do we do our own GYN exams? No. Do we do our own dental exams? No. Vision? No. We leave these things up to the trained professionals.

As we should with our hair.



Oops.



The back is still brown, though. *ahem*



Side by side comparison from yesterday to today (click to make bigger, if you need to):





*sigh*

Gonna hafta get that fixed, eh?

Good thing it's just hair.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

To further enhance your life with all of my helpful hints, click here. I might hafta write a book.

Oh! Oh! Oh!!!

More TV talk...

If you can't wait for Grey's Anatomy like *I* can't wait for Grey's Anatomy then go watch this sneak preview into the premiere!! First Episode of the season - sob-fest? Check.

And last night I was bored and had to find something to watch...so what did I watch? Glee! GLEE!! What a fun little show! Luff it. Added it to the line up.

Next? Project Runway - I am loving Carol Hannah! Is anyone else with me on that one? She is adorable and her designs are always something I *wish* I could wear. Love her.

New episode of Army Wives was on tonight so it won't go live online until tomorrow. *sigh* Still catching up on Hell's Kitchen but I'm getting there! Biggest Loser starts Tuesday and Survivor starts Thursday. DON'T FORGET! The world will STOP turning if you don't watch TV. Mark my words.

The end.

Friday Freebie Winner!!!

Mmmm...glad all the pigs came out of the word work in order to get something yummy. :-)

According to Random.org the winner is comment #2 and all she said was "OINK!"

Congrats Brandi!! Email me your address so I can get your treat out to ya! I tried to leave you a comment but your comments are broken and your email address is set to private.

See ya next week for another fun surprise!

If You Give A Mom A Moment

If you give a mom a moment to spend some time alone
she will never wander too far from her home.

She might spend some time in silent reverie
or she might jump for joy and sing out loud with glee.

Sometimes there'll be coffee and oftentimes a book
and maybe, just maybe, she'll want to change her look.

If you give a mom a moment she just might get a cut
to hopefully help herself get out of her hair rut.

There might be some foils, and some lightly streaked hair
you'll have to look hard because they'll be barely there.

She'll swing her head and dance about
she'll be so happy that she could shout.

If you give a mom a moment when she can be alone,
she'll be much happier when she comes home.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Don't forget to enter the Friday Freebie!

Friday Freebie!!!!

Friday, Friday, FriDAY! Wooooooohoooo!!! We all know how much I love Fridays. So much so that I give something away every week to reward you for making it through another week. Well, lately a lot of bloggers have been GRACIOUSLY guest hosting the FF and you've been travelin' around to get your Freebie Fix. This month we're bringing it all back home and I'm hosting it HERE the rest of the month!



We're calling it Surprise September - no, really? I just pulled that out of my crack just now. You can call it whatever you want, I don't care. HA! I'm just giving away little surprises all month. And it's September. And they both start with S so I wittily put it all together. Brilliant, no?

Whatev.

I have a sweet little treat that I absolutely ADORE. When I first heard of them from my friend Cyndi I was a little concerned by the name of them. They didn't sound like a treat, at all, but something medicinal. Ah, if only they WERE medicinal and then I could justify eating MORE of them! We only buy them as a special treat because they end up being a little spendy when we all snarf down the whole package in one day. Oink.

THAT is what I want to send you this week. Yep. A package of yummy non-medicinal goodness. Leave me a comment to enter. You can guess if you want, unless your name is Cyndi or Rob, then you don't get to guess because you already know the answer.

1 entry for the comment and you can get another entry if someone says that YOU sent them to my blog. Yk, like a referral program? You don't have to follow me..and neither does your friend. They just have to say "(your name here) sent me" somewhere in their comment. I'll close comments and draw the winner on Sunday morning.

Wooohooooo!!! Happy Friday and happy weekend to ya'll!

Must See TV

I KNOW I'm not the only one excited for fall TV Premieres, right? There are some shows that just totally left me hanging and others that I just miss.

Do you know when your shows start back up? Check here for a listing.

I'm obsessive. The premiere dates are marked on my Master Calendar. Yeah, it's that bad.

There are things I need to know!!! Things like -

Did that psycho woman cut the baby out of Violet or did Coop bust in and save her?

What's the big secret about Beckett's mother's death? How is Castle gonna tell her??

What happened with Mike, Susan, MJ and that psycho, Dave?? Did anyone die? Is everyone ok?

So, Izzy and George both died but the rumors are that Izzy is back on the show...so how're they pulling that one off?

Who are the latest castaways? Who will win??

Which team to I get to root against this year?!

Will Daniel make it to the end this time or will his partner sabotage him again??

Will this show get canceled just like his last one did? I hope not..I heart him.

And in a moment that can only be described and idiocy, I just realized I've missed most of Season 6 of Hell's Kitchen. Guess I have some catching up to do. *sigh*

In the meantime I still have Army Wives and Project Runway to watch to keep me happy.

Hopefully no one feels the need to stage a TV intervention after this post. HA!

What shows are YOU looking forward to this fall??

Update: Check HERE for some other thoughts including a link to a GA season premiere preview!

Thanks for Nothing

My neighbor came over today while I was at the school giving Sienna some Benadryl & Motrin. (digression: Sienna rolled down the hill and over the top of a bee yesterday. The Bee stung her, then stuck in her leg and she had to pull it out! She's a sore girl today.)

What? Oh.

So my neighbor brought me a gift while I was gone. There was a card with the gift that said:

"heidi - You make others so happy simply by being so nice. Thanks for being such a great friend, mom & person who deserves nothing but the best :-) Enjoy!"

Awww!! It was so thoughtful and sweet of her to think of me! I'm touched! But, uh, what's up with this gift? I mean...is she trying to tell me something? What is she saying?

"Thanks for everything fatty."

"Two tons of love inside you, yo!"

"You are a GINORMOUS person that gives so much."

"You are just HUGE in my life."



Thanks for caring enough to give the very best, eh?

HA!

For the record - I mentioned in passing that I was interested in trying the DVD so she snagged it for me. She's not a hag, I am.