Hello! Gosh, it's been awhile, hasn't it? Thanks for hanging with me while I took a little break. Who celebrates their 1 Year Blogoversary by not posting, eh? I'm so bassackwards.
I had a blog a while ago and there were some major issues that came as a result of things I posted on that blog. So, I was apprehensive when I started this blog and didn't know if I'd be able to keep it up and still keep it private enough. I tend to just run off at the mouth and share TMI with anyone listening, as long as they're paying attention to me. I promise, I'll seek therapy someday. Heh.
Also, there are some big changes coming up in my life and they are things I can't openly discuss for safety reasons, even though I really would like to talk about them. Thus, at the one year point in this blog I needed to reevaluate. I needed to see if I could keep this blog up the way that it was going or if I needed to take it down and a)come back anonymously or b)just read along.
Doesn't this all sound very covert and dramatic? Good grief. Drama queen in the hiz-ouse!
I'm sticking around. There may come a point in the next 6 months that I need to make some changes, but I promise not to leave ya'll hanging.
Now, what's been happening here? Umm..school, work, a trip to Fairmont Hot Springs with my parents, a visit from my biodad, a trip to Yellowstone, some weird stomach flu for me, the boy with the golden penis had his final post-op and checked out a-ok..in short? Life has been happening here.
I've missed you all and will be trying to stop by and say hello throughout the week! Thanks, again, for sticking with me and even Awarding me during my absence. I'm not sure if that means you like ME or my absences..ha!
Happy Monday to ya'll!
Peace out.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Friday Freebie!!!!
EDITED!! I've fixed the link. So sorry about that, guys - I meant to come back and link it yesterday and just flat forgot. Please, go check out Dawn and see what she's giving away!!
Woot woot! It's Frrrrrrrrrrr-eye-day! Go Friday, go Friday, it's a good day, go Friday...
I adore Friday. Know why? I don't work on Friday's. It's the first official day of my weekend. Holy Key-RAP am I excited! My major client has been running me ragged and believes in the whole "You are crap and we'll treat you like crap so you will try and do better." philosophy so they're killing me loudly (not softly). I need the hours this client provides but DAYUM if I don't wish I could tell them all to jump off a cliff somewhere. Word.
ANYWAY.
It's Friday which means there's a Freebie, duh. Just like there has been since just about 2 months after the beginning of this blog. How ya like that? Uh huh.
This week my good friend Dawn is hosting. I've known Dawn since right after Sienna was born. We've posted on various message boards together throughout the years and know a lot of the same people. I luff Dawn. Someday I shall meet her, I will.
So, go visit her and see what's up for grabs this week but FIRST...
Next month is going to be Friday Freebie SURPRISE month! Every time you enter you'll enter based on a clue and nothing else. You won't know what you're getting, until you GET it! WOOT! We all need some carefully planned spontaneity in our lives, eh? For now, go see Dawn. For next week, prepare to be surprised!
Have a weekend!
Click here to enter:
Woot woot! It's Frrrrrrrrrrr-eye-day! Go Friday, go Friday, it's a good day, go Friday...
I adore Friday. Know why? I don't work on Friday's. It's the first official day of my weekend. Holy Key-RAP am I excited! My major client has been running me ragged and believes in the whole "You are crap and we'll treat you like crap so you will try and do better." philosophy so they're killing me loudly (not softly). I need the hours this client provides but DAYUM if I don't wish I could tell them all to jump off a cliff somewhere. Word.
ANYWAY.
It's Friday which means there's a Freebie, duh. Just like there has been since just about 2 months after the beginning of this blog. How ya like that? Uh huh.
This week my good friend Dawn is hosting. I've known Dawn since right after Sienna was born. We've posted on various message boards together throughout the years and know a lot of the same people. I luff Dawn. Someday I shall meet her, I will.
So, go visit her and see what's up for grabs this week but FIRST...
Next month is going to be Friday Freebie SURPRISE month! Every time you enter you'll enter based on a clue and nothing else. You won't know what you're getting, until you GET it! WOOT! We all need some carefully planned spontaneity in our lives, eh? For now, go see Dawn. For next week, prepare to be surprised!
Have a weekend!
Click here to enter:
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Re-Runs and Leftovers: Sometimes
... the answer to the question 'Are you mad?' is 'Yes' but it's just not worth the fight.
... the answer to the question 'Are you ok?' is 'No.', but I don't have the words to explain it.
... I just want to sit and stew in my anger for a bit before I get over it.
... I KNOW that I'm overreacting, and I don't really care.
... there will have to be an apology made and I'm trying to figure out how to say it.
... I just need to process everything before I can have a conversation about it.
... I'm just so damned mad at you that I don't *dare* speak for fear I'll say something I can't take back.
... I just want you to 'get it' without me drawing you a map.
... I don't want to play the games we play.
... I know that I have a bad attitude and I just need some time to fix it.
... I feel like I'm doing this alone.
... you surprise me and say the most wonderful things.
... I just don't have the energy.
... I just want to fight.
... I need a break. Or a nap. Or maybe a nap AND a break.
... I'm jealous of you.
... I go upstairs and smell your robe when you're at work, because I miss you.
All the time, I love you.
Originally Thursday, March 12, 2009
... the answer to the question 'Are you ok?' is 'No.', but I don't have the words to explain it.
... I just want to sit and stew in my anger for a bit before I get over it.
... I KNOW that I'm overreacting, and I don't really care.
... there will have to be an apology made and I'm trying to figure out how to say it.
... I just need to process everything before I can have a conversation about it.
... I'm just so damned mad at you that I don't *dare* speak for fear I'll say something I can't take back.
... I just want you to 'get it' without me drawing you a map.
... I don't want to play the games we play.
... I know that I have a bad attitude and I just need some time to fix it.
... I feel like I'm doing this alone.
... you surprise me and say the most wonderful things.
... I just don't have the energy.
... I just want to fight.
... I need a break. Or a nap. Or maybe a nap AND a break.
... I'm jealous of you.
... I go upstairs and smell your robe when you're at work, because I miss you.
All the time, I love you.
Originally Thursday, March 12, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Re-Runs and Leftovers: Don't Argue with Me
I've seen it discussed a lot, recently, around the blogosphere that couples argue more on the way to church than any other day of the week. I'd like to address this issue by illustrating for you how it GENERALLY goes when a family gets ready for church.
(Disclaimer: This is a sweeping generalization. It may not apply to you. But it actually might, too, so don't think it doesn't. But don't think I'm talking to you, either, because maybe I'm not. Generalizations being what they are...this is very 'in general'. Thanks.)
*----------------------------------*
*ahem*
Day breaks.
Wait, no it doesn't. It's still dark out when I get up to get ready for church. Why is that? Oh yeah, because I have to get up BEFORE everyone else if I want to get a shower in and get my hair and make up done so I can look less like the undead and more like a virtuous woman when I go to church.
Of course, I only get halfway through my shower before someone wakes up and wants something from me. So then I'm frantically trying to help them while hurrying into the bathroom because if I don't get my hair blow dried and fixed before it air dires *too* much, it will never lay right. And that will make me cranky (er) .
Get my hair and make up started.
Get breakfast for more kids.
Feed the baby.
Work on hair and make up more. Which, by-the-by? Only takes me 15 min TOTAL when I can just get it all done at once.
Get nearly done and finally get a cup of coffee.
Start laying out clothes for kids who like to argue with me about what they want to wear. Tell them they're old enough to pick their own clothes ANYWAY just pick something that I won't let them wear to school that is appropriate. (See, this is so I know that the clothes they pick are clean and presentable for church. I, uh, let them wear pretty much whatever to school even if they look stupid. Yeah. It's their own social suicide, not mine.)
Get Corban dressed.
Eat my own breakfast while feeding the baby again.
Tell Rob (who is oblivious to the sounds of struggle downstairs as I am left to wrestle with all four kids and get myself ready for church, alone.) to get his butt out of bed.
Get B dressed.
Clean up and re-dress Corban because he's pooped his pants and dropped a ginormous turd on the floor down through his pant leg. *gag*
Make Cara put on tights because it's winter and she's not wearing those stupid flip flops.
Go into the bedroom and huff around, obviously annoyed, trying to find something to wear while Rob says "What's wrong?".
Lie and say 'Nothing.'
Try on an outfit.
Go downstairs and tell the girls to stop being mean to each other and no I don't want to hear it anymore.
Go back upstairs and tell Rob if he doesn't get up and get dressed NOW we're going to be late for church.
Try on several more outfits, which I hate, and end up in a pair of jeans and a shirt, as usual.
Take Corban to the bathroom.
Tell the girls to pack their church bags (because this is just news to them EVERY week. *smh*)
Pack the diaper bag.
Suck down my cold cup of coffee before brushing my teeth.
Look at Rob like he has two heads when he comes down and asks me if he has time to iron a shirt.
Feed B. (Damn..how much does this kid need to EAT?!)
Put on more deoderant and a spritz of perfume because running around like this is making me sweaty.
Help Cara with her cowlick.
Start the van.
Get everyone in their coats, boots, whatever.
Yell "FIVE MINUTES!"
Go upstairs and find Rob still in his underwear without his hair done yet.
Come down stairs and try not to scream.
Start loading kids in the van.
Yell "We're LEAVING - Let's GO!" and get into the van.
Drive to church in seething silence until Rob says, "Are you ok? Did something happen?"
Try to keep my head from spinning around and flying OFF of my body.
Arrive to church 10 minutes late for SS even though I've been up since before the crack of dawn.
Smile sweetly and nod as the greeter says "Happy Sabbath!"
And then? After I spend 40 minutes in preschool SS with the boys (very mentally stimulating) I try to stay awake in the Mother's room during the church service while I finally get to just sit in a comfy chair and nurse Brennan.
*----------------------------------*
That is a typical Sabbath morning when we all go to church. I suspect it's much the same in houses around the world! Thus, why so many people argue on the way to church.
Oh, yeah, and probably we all argue because Satan is trying harder but, yk, duh.
Feel free to use my sweeping generalization to inform your own mate as to the reason. I'm ok with it. I just want to help people, dontcha know?
You're welcome.
Originally Thursday, February 19, 2009
(Disclaimer: This is a sweeping generalization. It may not apply to you. But it actually might, too, so don't think it doesn't. But don't think I'm talking to you, either, because maybe I'm not. Generalizations being what they are...this is very 'in general'. Thanks.)
*----------------------------------*
*ahem*
Day breaks.
Wait, no it doesn't. It's still dark out when I get up to get ready for church. Why is that? Oh yeah, because I have to get up BEFORE everyone else if I want to get a shower in and get my hair and make up done so I can look less like the undead and more like a virtuous woman when I go to church.
Of course, I only get halfway through my shower before someone wakes up and wants something from me. So then I'm frantically trying to help them while hurrying into the bathroom because if I don't get my hair blow dried and fixed before it air dires *too* much, it will never lay right. And that will make me cranky (er) .
Get my hair and make up started.
Get breakfast for more kids.
Feed the baby.
Work on hair and make up more. Which, by-the-by? Only takes me 15 min TOTAL when I can just get it all done at once.
Get nearly done and finally get a cup of coffee.
Start laying out clothes for kids who like to argue with me about what they want to wear. Tell them they're old enough to pick their own clothes ANYWAY just pick something that I won't let them wear to school that is appropriate. (See, this is so I know that the clothes they pick are clean and presentable for church. I, uh, let them wear pretty much whatever to school even if they look stupid. Yeah. It's their own social suicide, not mine.)
Get Corban dressed.
Eat my own breakfast while feeding the baby again.
Tell Rob (who is oblivious to the sounds of struggle downstairs as I am left to wrestle with all four kids and get myself ready for church, alone.) to get his butt out of bed.
Get B dressed.
Clean up and re-dress Corban because he's pooped his pants and dropped a ginormous turd on the floor down through his pant leg. *gag*
Make Cara put on tights because it's winter and she's not wearing those stupid flip flops.
Go into the bedroom and huff around, obviously annoyed, trying to find something to wear while Rob says "What's wrong?".
Lie and say 'Nothing.'
Try on an outfit.
Go downstairs and tell the girls to stop being mean to each other and no I don't want to hear it anymore.
Go back upstairs and tell Rob if he doesn't get up and get dressed NOW we're going to be late for church.
Try on several more outfits, which I hate, and end up in a pair of jeans and a shirt, as usual.
Take Corban to the bathroom.
Tell the girls to pack their church bags (because this is just news to them EVERY week. *smh*)
Pack the diaper bag.
Suck down my cold cup of coffee before brushing my teeth.
Look at Rob like he has two heads when he comes down and asks me if he has time to iron a shirt.
Feed B. (Damn..how much does this kid need to EAT?!)
Put on more deoderant and a spritz of perfume because running around like this is making me sweaty.
Help Cara with her cowlick.
Start the van.
Get everyone in their coats, boots, whatever.
Yell "FIVE MINUTES!"
Go upstairs and find Rob still in his underwear without his hair done yet.
Come down stairs and try not to scream.
Start loading kids in the van.
Yell "We're LEAVING - Let's GO!" and get into the van.
Drive to church in seething silence until Rob says, "Are you ok? Did something happen?"
Try to keep my head from spinning around and flying OFF of my body.
Arrive to church 10 minutes late for SS even though I've been up since before the crack of dawn.
Smile sweetly and nod as the greeter says "Happy Sabbath!"
And then? After I spend 40 minutes in preschool SS with the boys (very mentally stimulating) I try to stay awake in the Mother's room during the church service while I finally get to just sit in a comfy chair and nurse Brennan.
*----------------------------------*
That is a typical Sabbath morning when we all go to church. I suspect it's much the same in houses around the world! Thus, why so many people argue on the way to church.
Oh, yeah, and probably we all argue because Satan is trying harder but, yk, duh.
Feel free to use my sweeping generalization to inform your own mate as to the reason. I'm ok with it. I just want to help people, dontcha know?
You're welcome.
Originally Thursday, February 19, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Re-Runs and Leftovers: Git 'er Done
Last Tuesday you all asked how I was able to get so much done with a baby and a toddler. Yeah, AND? I worked 8 hours that day. Go on - pat me on the back and stuff. I'll wait. *drums fingers*
Ready? Ok.
So you asked how I was able to get it done so I have compiled some pictures of my secret weapons for you. You go ahead and watch and then you, too, can be productive young grasshopper.
Good Day.
P.S. I feel the need to make sure you know that this post is supposed to be humorous. I don't REALLY employ all of the methods I pictured. I am ethically and morally - fundamentally, even, opposed to the use of baby swings. *wink*
Originally posted by heidi at 7:13 AM on Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Ready? Ok.
So you asked how I was able to get it done so I have compiled some pictures of my secret weapons for you. You go ahead and watch and then you, too, can be productive young grasshopper.
Good Day.
P.S. I feel the need to make sure you know that this post is supposed to be humorous. I don't REALLY employ all of the methods I pictured. I am ethically and morally - fundamentally, even, opposed to the use of baby swings. *wink*
Originally posted by heidi at 7:13 AM on Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Re-Runs and Leftovers: The Tale of the Cookie
There once was a cookie sitting peacefully watching the world go by. She was soft, chewy and warm - and loaded with delicious goodies.
Along came a little girl that wanted a big ole bite of this cookie - so she took it and went along her merry way.
Skipping past came another girl who happily took a chunk for her own.
Then a daddy came callin' and took a husband sized bite.
In his arms was a wee little one who managed to wrangle some of the cookie into his soggy hands.
From down below came the screams only a 2 year old can make, demanding a piece of the cookie for his very own. Off came another piece.
The cookie she sat, after the family had gone by, taking stock of what she had left.
When off in the distance a voice with authority called itself 'employer' and demanded a bite for itself.
A symphony kicked in with a high-pitched whine as parts of her house demanded a piece - laundry, kitchen, bathrooms and floors. They all just kept crying more, more, MORE!
The cookie she sat, weary and worn, with only a few crumbs left when passing by came a caravan of other family and friends. They all reached out and grabbed what they could from what was left of this once warm and delicious cookie.
At the end of the day, in swooped the rest - pecking up all of the crumbs. Fighting and clamoring, they all wanted some until there was nothing left.
The thoughts of the cookie, they lingered on - exhausted from the ordeal. She could still hear them all - calling for her! Everyone wanting some more!!
She heaved a big sigh and closed her weary eyes, if only for just 20 minutes. She baked in the warmth (about 425) and just prayed she'd have some time.
As she emerged, the hands were all there - grabbing and sneaking their bites. She smiled and she kissed them with her chocolate goodness and faced another day.
Cause she's one tough cookie.
May you get your own 20 minutes to bask in the warmth and regroup.
Originally Friday, March 27, 2009
Along came a little girl that wanted a big ole bite of this cookie - so she took it and went along her merry way.
Skipping past came another girl who happily took a chunk for her own.
Then a daddy came callin' and took a husband sized bite.
In his arms was a wee little one who managed to wrangle some of the cookie into his soggy hands.
From down below came the screams only a 2 year old can make, demanding a piece of the cookie for his very own. Off came another piece.
The cookie she sat, after the family had gone by, taking stock of what she had left.
When off in the distance a voice with authority called itself 'employer' and demanded a bite for itself.
A symphony kicked in with a high-pitched whine as parts of her house demanded a piece - laundry, kitchen, bathrooms and floors. They all just kept crying more, more, MORE!
The cookie she sat, weary and worn, with only a few crumbs left when passing by came a caravan of other family and friends. They all reached out and grabbed what they could from what was left of this once warm and delicious cookie.
At the end of the day, in swooped the rest - pecking up all of the crumbs. Fighting and clamoring, they all wanted some until there was nothing left.
The thoughts of the cookie, they lingered on - exhausted from the ordeal. She could still hear them all - calling for her! Everyone wanting some more!!
She heaved a big sigh and closed her weary eyes, if only for just 20 minutes. She baked in the warmth (about 425) and just prayed she'd have some time.
As she emerged, the hands were all there - grabbing and sneaking their bites. She smiled and she kissed them with her chocolate goodness and faced another day.
Cause she's one tough cookie.
May you get your own 20 minutes to bask in the warmth and regroup.
Originally Friday, March 27, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Re-Runs and Leftovers: Go Ask Alice
I don't know if my kids really think it would be fun or if they're trying to tell me I'm a crappy parent, but they want me to call Super Nanny. I mean, hello? Have you seen some of the parents on that show??? The kids are obviously NOT the problem. Me? I don't mind if Super Nanny comes by but I don't want her to fix my kids or teach me how to parent. No, I would much prefer she just be the stinkin' nanny and not the family shrink. Thanks for stopping by - the playroom's thataway. No I DON'T want you to observe and I'm not interested in a DVD of my failures. Just go make a craft and teach my kids a new game. Sheesh.
You know what I'd really like?? I'd like a freakin MAID. Seriously. Someone to come clean up after all of these people in this house that seem to think I ENJOY picking up their dirty underwear and scraping their dried on food off of their plates. And what in the Sam Hill is the deal with all of these freaking PILES everywhere? Do we have to have something piled on EVERY surface??? Oh! Oh!! Can I PLEASE vacuum three times today?? YAY! What? No one has folded laundry in a WEEK?? BLISS! I can hardly stand to wait to get started. Oops...uh oh..guess what? I just wet myelf in anticipation of another day filled with cleaning the house. *sigh*
A personal chef would be nice, too. I mean, I just burnt the keyrap out of my hand last night so I could stand to use some help in the kitchen. I was draining the macaroni and managed to pour the water all over my left index finger, effectively COOKING it. Yeah. It's well done. Blisters, discoloration, pain. Go me. And, well, PLUS if we had a chef then maybe I wouldn't get so personally offended when people didn't eat the dinner I put time and effort and LOVE into planning and preparing. Or I wouldn't be crushed when they didn't like it. I could be all, "Damn it...cook will NOT be getting a bonus this quarter if the food doesn't improve."
In conclusion - I either need Alice from the Brady Bunch, or a wife.
Imma go with Alice on this one.
on Tuesday, December 2, 2008
You know what I'd really like?? I'd like a freakin MAID. Seriously. Someone to come clean up after all of these people in this house that seem to think I ENJOY picking up their dirty underwear and scraping their dried on food off of their plates. And what in the Sam Hill is the deal with all of these freaking PILES everywhere? Do we have to have something piled on EVERY surface??? Oh! Oh!! Can I PLEASE vacuum three times today?? YAY! What? No one has folded laundry in a WEEK?? BLISS! I can hardly stand to wait to get started. Oops...uh oh..guess what? I just wet myelf in anticipation of another day filled with cleaning the house. *sigh*
A personal chef would be nice, too. I mean, I just burnt the keyrap out of my hand last night so I could stand to use some help in the kitchen. I was draining the macaroni and managed to pour the water all over my left index finger, effectively COOKING it. Yeah. It's well done. Blisters, discoloration, pain. Go me. And, well, PLUS if we had a chef then maybe I wouldn't get so personally offended when people didn't eat the dinner I put time and effort and LOVE into planning and preparing. Or I wouldn't be crushed when they didn't like it. I could be all, "Damn it...cook will NOT be getting a bonus this quarter if the food doesn't improve."
In conclusion - I either need Alice from the Brady Bunch, or a wife.
Imma go with Alice on this one.
on Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Friday, August 21, 2009
Re-Runs and Leftovers: Coming to You LIVE From the Wrong Side of the Bed!
Yes, you heard correctly - for a limited time only I will be coming to you LIVE from the wrong side of the bed. Which side *is* the wrong side, anyway? Is Rob's side the wrong side or is my side the wrong side? What if I just scooch off the bottom of the bed, would that be better?
Yeah. I'm cranky. Rob said he barely noticed. HA! That's a lie. He didn't say that. He said He noticed...that it is "exuding" from me. Look, I like to wear my emotions like well fashioned jewelry,ok? If I have to lug all my baggage behind me then I want to current emotion out front trumpeting my way....*insert trumpet sound here* Make way for heidi! Queen of the Cranks! Sultan of Snark! Emperor of Irritation! President of Pissiness! Bow down...BOW DOWN!! Eh, nevermind..just get out of my way.
I should make my kids a special after school snack to apologize for being such a snotface to them this morning. I should go upstairs and make out with Rob so he's not going off to work hating me. I should take Corbs out of the diaper he's in and put on his unders and give him some praise. B will be ok...he's asleep.
Wait..what?
He's *asleep*?!?! What in the SAM HILL is the deal?!? The kid wants to wake me up every 90 min all night and then be up for the day at 5:30 and then he falls a-freakin-sleep as soon as I'm up and going and there's NO CHANCE of me getting any shut eye? Whoa-ho-ho....this kid is gonna pay today. Oh yeah..he better watch his back. I'm gonna...well, I mean...when he's not looking...hmmm. Damn he's cute when he's asleep. *sigh*
Off to be the domestic goddess we all know I can be. Where, oh where, are my heels and pearls? I have toilets to scrub!
Originally Posted by heidi at 8:00 AM Thursday, February 19, 2009
Friday Freebie!!!!
Friday, Friday, Friday!
Here we are at Friday again - it always seems to come back around roughly 6 days after the last one, eh? Weird.
This weeks prize is Ay-May-zing. I'm sending you on your merry way over to see my friend Jill who will be giving you a guided tour of your Freebie today. :-)
Clickity-clack on that there button to see what you're playing for this week! It's an extra long one - Open through Sunday!! - so it might not be too late to enter.
P.S. I am looking for a few people to host some of the upcoming Friday Freebies. If you're interested please email me and let me know!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Re-Runs and Leftovers: The Death of My Marriage
On this day, 6 years ago, my marriage died. Oh, it had actually been wheezing it's last breaths for awhile but on that day, it was pronounced dead at about 6:30am. It gasped and choked and yelled out - but it died nonetheless.
And I'm glad it did.
There's no reason to rehash details and juicy tidbits. There's no point in dragging out dead bodies to point and whisper about. It doesn't matter who said what - it died. It was over. And two people were left heartbroken and devestated.
No, I know - I hear ya..."What?! Why are you thankful for this? How does this work for you? Are you insane?? Have you lost your MIND woman?!" Patience, grasshopper. Patience.
I am taking the time, right now, to be thankful that my marriage died. Do I wish it hadn't come to that? Sure - who wants that kind of heartbreak and hurt?? But it happened and we have to grow from it.
Even though our marriage was dead, we headed up to his parents house for Thanksgiving dinner. If visits to my in-laws were uncomfortable before, it was downright unpleasant that weekend. We yelled and fought and cried. There was begging and pleading and bargaining. Finally, resignation and decisions to make.
I kept flashing back to that day ... the day it was declared dead. Something kept sticking out in my brain and smacking me over the head. While I was at the mall, I was drowning in sadness and pain and wondering what I was going to do now. I looked up and saw a plaque. Right in the middle of a wall full of plaques, the one that stood out to me said "Love Never Fails". Ahh..a bible verse. A sign from God? A message? Comfort? Yeah, I think so, too.
So while we hashed out the death of our marriage I kept thinking of that comfort that was extended to me. To this day I still hold on to that comfort ... that promise.
We screwed up, Rob and I. We made mistakes and we got lazy. We made horrible choices and we stopped trying. We were both responsible for the untimely demise of our marriage.
In one heart wrenching moment, standing outside in the bitter November cold (in Montana!) a decision was made. We were yelling and crying - both of us hurting. I pushed and pushed until he started to walk away, defeated. And I felt my soul rip in two. I fell to my knees in the snow and cried "Please..please don't leave me."
And so it began. The mending and fixing. The learning. It wasn't ok for a very, very long time. It was a horribly long year full of counseling and reading; listening and talking; and Nacho Therapy.
Nacho Therapy: (Here's the works for me part...) Rob and I would go out to a restaurant once a week. We wouldn't always get Nachos but the name just stuck. At nacho therapy you talk. There are rules to be followed, though. No interrupting. No judging. No getting defensive. And, yk, since you're in public it's a lot harder to scream and yell and stomp off crying to lock yourself in the bathroom. I'm just saying. It kind of forces you to act like grown ups and talk. We read the Book The Five Love Languages and did the workbook section in the back, seperately. At Nacho Therapy we shared our answers with each other. Did I cry in public? Uh..hello? Yeah. Did we ever leave angry? Sure we did. But it worked for us - both the Nacho Therapy and The Five Love Languages.
Here we are, 6 years later, better people for it all. Our marriage may have died, but a new - better one was born in it's place. We are still working on it, and I sincerely hope we never stop. Because it's there...in that valley where you sit down to rest that you start letting it go. The Anger mosquitos eat you alive and the shoulda woulda coulda gnats fly around your face until you're too tired to swat them away. Finally, the snake of temptation will bite you and you will succomb.
So we choose to still fight. Because our marriage is worth fighting for - and not just for our kids. For us.
Originally Wednesday, November 26, 2008
And I'm glad it did.
There's no reason to rehash details and juicy tidbits. There's no point in dragging out dead bodies to point and whisper about. It doesn't matter who said what - it died. It was over. And two people were left heartbroken and devestated.
No, I know - I hear ya..."What?! Why are you thankful for this? How does this work for you? Are you insane?? Have you lost your MIND woman?!" Patience, grasshopper. Patience.
I am taking the time, right now, to be thankful that my marriage died. Do I wish it hadn't come to that? Sure - who wants that kind of heartbreak and hurt?? But it happened and we have to grow from it.
Even though our marriage was dead, we headed up to his parents house for Thanksgiving dinner. If visits to my in-laws were uncomfortable before, it was downright unpleasant that weekend. We yelled and fought and cried. There was begging and pleading and bargaining. Finally, resignation and decisions to make.
I kept flashing back to that day ... the day it was declared dead. Something kept sticking out in my brain and smacking me over the head. While I was at the mall, I was drowning in sadness and pain and wondering what I was going to do now. I looked up and saw a plaque. Right in the middle of a wall full of plaques, the one that stood out to me said "Love Never Fails". Ahh..a bible verse. A sign from God? A message? Comfort? Yeah, I think so, too.
So while we hashed out the death of our marriage I kept thinking of that comfort that was extended to me. To this day I still hold on to that comfort ... that promise.
We screwed up, Rob and I. We made mistakes and we got lazy. We made horrible choices and we stopped trying. We were both responsible for the untimely demise of our marriage.
In one heart wrenching moment, standing outside in the bitter November cold (in Montana!) a decision was made. We were yelling and crying - both of us hurting. I pushed and pushed until he started to walk away, defeated. And I felt my soul rip in two. I fell to my knees in the snow and cried "Please..please don't leave me."
And so it began. The mending and fixing. The learning. It wasn't ok for a very, very long time. It was a horribly long year full of counseling and reading; listening and talking; and Nacho Therapy.
Nacho Therapy: (Here's the works for me part...) Rob and I would go out to a restaurant once a week. We wouldn't always get Nachos but the name just stuck. At nacho therapy you talk. There are rules to be followed, though. No interrupting. No judging. No getting defensive. And, yk, since you're in public it's a lot harder to scream and yell and stomp off crying to lock yourself in the bathroom. I'm just saying. It kind of forces you to act like grown ups and talk. We read the Book The Five Love Languages and did the workbook section in the back, seperately. At Nacho Therapy we shared our answers with each other. Did I cry in public? Uh..hello? Yeah. Did we ever leave angry? Sure we did. But it worked for us - both the Nacho Therapy and The Five Love Languages.
Here we are, 6 years later, better people for it all. Our marriage may have died, but a new - better one was born in it's place. We are still working on it, and I sincerely hope we never stop. Because it's there...in that valley where you sit down to rest that you start letting it go. The Anger mosquitos eat you alive and the shoulda woulda coulda gnats fly around your face until you're too tired to swat them away. Finally, the snake of temptation will bite you and you will succomb.
So we choose to still fight. Because our marriage is worth fighting for - and not just for our kids. For us.
Originally Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
This post has no title and is rated higher than PG13
Today is a day that sucks. I see it coming and I dread it. I hate today. Today can get on a train and get the **** out.
It's been 5 years and I still hate you.
And I still love you.
Asshole.
Today sucks.
My Immortal - Evanescence
I'M SO TIRED OF BEING HERE
SUPPRESSED BY ALL MY CHILDISH FEARS
AND IF YOU HAVE TO LEAVE
I WISH THAT YOU WOULD JUST LEAVE
CAUSE YOUR PRESSENCE STILL LINGERS HERE
AND IT WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE
(CHORUS)
THESE WOUNDS WON'T SEEM HEAL
THIS PAIN IS JUST TOO REAL
THERE'S JUST TO MUCH THAT TIME CANNOT ERASE
WHEN YOU CRIED
I'D WIPE AWAY ALL OF YOUR TEARS
WHEN YOU’D SCREAM
I'D FIGHT AWAY ALL OF YOUR FEARS
AND I HELD YOUR HAND THROUGH ALL OF THESE YEARS
AND YOU STILL HAVE ALL OF ME
YOU USED TO CAPIVATE ME BY YOUR RESONATING LIGHT
NOW I'M BOUND BY THE LIFE YOU LEFT BEHIND
YOUR FACE IT HAUNTS, MY ONCE PLEASENT DREAMS
YOUR VOICE HAS CHASED AWAY ALL THE SANITY IN ME
(CHORUS)
I TRIED SO HARD TO TELL MYSELF
THAT YOU’RE GONE
BUT THOUGH YOU’RE STILL WITH ME
I'VE BEEN ALONE
I'M ALONE
WHEN YOU CRIED
I'D WIPE AWAY ALL OF YOUR TEARS
WHEN YOU’D SCREAM
I'D FIGHT AWAY ALL OF YOUR FEARS
AND I HELD YOUR HAND THROUGH ALL OF THESE YEARS
AND YOU STILL HAVE
ALL OF ME
It's been 5 years and I still hate you.
And I still love you.
Asshole.
Today sucks.
My Immortal - Evanescence
I'M SO TIRED OF BEING HERE
SUPPRESSED BY ALL MY CHILDISH FEARS
AND IF YOU HAVE TO LEAVE
I WISH THAT YOU WOULD JUST LEAVE
CAUSE YOUR PRESSENCE STILL LINGERS HERE
AND IT WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE
(CHORUS)
THESE WOUNDS WON'T SEEM HEAL
THIS PAIN IS JUST TOO REAL
THERE'S JUST TO MUCH THAT TIME CANNOT ERASE
WHEN YOU CRIED
I'D WIPE AWAY ALL OF YOUR TEARS
WHEN YOU’D SCREAM
I'D FIGHT AWAY ALL OF YOUR FEARS
AND I HELD YOUR HAND THROUGH ALL OF THESE YEARS
AND YOU STILL HAVE ALL OF ME
YOU USED TO CAPIVATE ME BY YOUR RESONATING LIGHT
NOW I'M BOUND BY THE LIFE YOU LEFT BEHIND
YOUR FACE IT HAUNTS, MY ONCE PLEASENT DREAMS
YOUR VOICE HAS CHASED AWAY ALL THE SANITY IN ME
(CHORUS)
I TRIED SO HARD TO TELL MYSELF
THAT YOU’RE GONE
BUT THOUGH YOU’RE STILL WITH ME
I'VE BEEN ALONE
I'M ALONE
WHEN YOU CRIED
I'D WIPE AWAY ALL OF YOUR TEARS
WHEN YOU’D SCREAM
I'D FIGHT AWAY ALL OF YOUR FEARS
AND I HELD YOUR HAND THROUGH ALL OF THESE YEARS
AND YOU STILL HAVE
ALL OF ME
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
I never ever, ever, ever, EVER....
... do these things. But I'm doing it now so now I can't say that I never do them anymore, can I? No. Now I can say I RARELY (in all caps, even) do them. *cough cough*
I have to answer yes or no with no explanation. I'm an explanation kind of gal so this is difficult for me. Really really really difficult. Yo.
Tim, Stephanie and Bridget did this on their blogs and I'm a follower so now I have, too. Here are the rules:
1.) You can ONLY answer YES or NO
2.) You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone comments and asks! Have fun and hope you enjoy these little tidbits of information!!
Have You Ever...
Kissed any of your Facebook friends? YES INDEEDY!
Been arrested? MANAGED TO AVOID IT
Been in a fight? YES I HAVE!
Fallen fast for someone? I TRIPPED!
Regretted a relationship? CAN WE ALL SAY "I WAS JUST YOUNG?!?!"
Been in a tornado? NO I HID IN THE BATHTUB, DUH.
Fallen asleep at work/school? ARE WE NOT SUPPOSED TO?
Ran a red light? IN SOME COUNTRIES RED MEANS GO, RIGHT?!
Experienced love at first sight? LOVE? NO. LUST? UH..COME TO MAMA! *COUGH*timmcgraw*COUGH*
Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident? NOPE JUST THE PERSON I RAN INTO'S CAR.
Been fired from a job? FIRED OR LET GO? HA!
Fired somebody? I TELL MY KIDS THEY'RE FIRED WHEN I'M REALLY MAD.
Sang karaoke? CAN I CLAIM A 5th ON THIS ONE? AS IN, "I DRANK A 5th AND I DON'T REMEMBER DETAILS?"
Pointed a gun at someone? OH UMHMMMMMM ACTUALLY NOT at THEM.
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE, ACTUALLY.
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? ONCE I PUKED AND A WHOLE SPAGHETTI NOODLE CAME HALFWAY OUT MY NOSE AND WE HAD TO PULL THE REST OF IT OUT.
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? I THINK SO BUT IT MELTED BEFORE I COULD CHECK.
Kissed in the rain? WITH OR WITHOUT TONGUE?
Swam in the ocean? YEP. WELL, IT WAS REALLY MORE LIKE SUCKING SALT WATER BUT WHATEV.
Been to a concert? A FEW. INXS, NIN, TORI AMOS, THE CURE, THIRD DAY, JEREMY CAMP...
Laughed till you cried? SURE, BUT HAVE YOU EVER CRIED TIL YOU LAUGHED?!?
Sang in the shower? I SING ON THE TOILET, DUH.
Smoked a cigar? WHY, DO YOU HAVE ONE TO SHARE?
Sat on a rooftop? SAT, STOOD, PRETENDED I WAS A BIRD. WHATEV.
Smuggled something into another country? THERE ARE OTHER COUNTRIES BESIDES THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?!?
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? NO BECAUSE I DON'T USUALLY CARRY MY WHOLE CLOSET WITH ME. BUT I'VE BEEN PUSHED IN FULLY CLOTHED BEFORE.
Broken a bone? JUST MY BUTT.
Skipped school? HMMMM....I THINK I SKIPPED MY WHOLE SENIOR YEAR, EH MA?!
Got a speeding ticket? HONEST, I DIDN'T KNOW I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE GOING 85 OFFICER.
Eaten a bug? COVER IT IN CHOCOLATE AND IT AIN'T HALF BAD.
Sleepwalked? I DUNNO, I'M ASLEEP.
Walked a moonlit beach? I DON'T HAVE A LEASH LONG ENOUGH.
Rode a motorcycle / dirt bike? ONLY WITH A MORMON GUY ABOUT TO GO ON HIS MISSION WHEN I WAS 19 YEARS OLD. WASN'T AS ORGASMIC AS I'D HOPED IT WOULD BE. HMPH.
Dumped someone? DUMPED THEM WHERE?
Seen a baby born? JUST THE ONES I BIRTHED. OH AND ON THAT MIRACLE OF LIFE NOVA SPECIAL.
Lied to avoid a ticket? THERE WAS ALWAYS SOME TRUTH TO THE STORY.
Ridden in a helicopter? MY UNCLE USED TO FLY FOR LIFEFLIGHT, SO YES.
Shaved your head? I WANTED TO ONCE BUT ROB SAID NO.
Played a prank on someone? DER.
Hit a home run? I DON'T PLAY BASEBALL, OR SOFTBALL. BUT I *AM* FAMILIAR WITH HOMEBASE. HA!
Felt like killing someone? ONCE. THE END.
Cross dressed? REMEMBER GRUNGE?
Been falling down drunk? THAT WAS A FRIDAY NIGHT BACK IN THE DAY!
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? IF I DUMPED YOU WOULDN'T YOU CRY TOO?
Marched/Protested? I MARCH TO THE BEAT OF A DIFFERENT DRUMMER.
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? ARE THOSE THINGS FOR REAL?
Puked on an amusement ride? PANSY.
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? I'M BOYCOTTING IHOP RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THEY'RE A BUNCH OF LAME ASS DORKS.
Been in a band? NO BUT I'VE BEEN A GROUPIE. HA! KIDDING!! (MOSTLY)
Knitted or crocheted? I'VE HAD CHILDREN KNIT IN MY WOMB. DOES THAT COUNT?
Been on TV? WE HAVE A WEDDING VIDEO, DOES THAT COUNT?
Shot a gun? I LIVE IN MONTANA.
Skinny dipped? I'VE EVEN CHUNKY DUNKED.
Gave someone stitches? I ONLY PLAY A NURSE ON TV.
Eaten whole jalapeno pepper? WHY?
Ridden a surfboard? SADLY, NO.
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? JOSE CUERVO YOU ARE A FRIEND OF MINE.
Had surgery? BYE-BYE TONSILS.
Streaked? I'LL NEVER TELL!! *COUGHCOUGH*YES*COUGHCOUGH*
Taken by ambulance to hospital? OY.
Tripped on mushrooms? SADLY NO. OH, I MEAN..UH...WELL..I STOPPED DOING RECREATIONAL (ONLY MEDICINAL NOW, YO) DRUGS BEFORE I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO PARTAKE.
Passed out when not drinking? UM, NO.
Peed outside? I LIVE IN MONTANA.
Donated blood? ABSOLUTELY. EVERYONE SHOULD. DID YOU KNOW THAT YOUR ONE DONATION CAN SAVE UP TO THREE LIVES?!
Grabbed electric fence? GRABBED IT WHY? FOR WHAT REASON? MORONS.
Eaten alligator meat? NOPE, JUST RATTLESNAKE.
Eaten cheesecake? WHY? DO YOU HAVE SOME?!
Eaten a kids' Halloween candy? HOW HORRIBLE! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING? *BATSEYES*
Killed an animal when not hunting? UM, DAMNED PRARIE DOGS AND TARGET SHOOTING. OTHERWISE KNOWN AS: I LIVED IN WYOMING.
Peed your pants in public? I'VE HAD FOUR KIDS. AMEN.
Snuck into a movie without paying? IT DOSN'T COUNT IF THE MOVIE YOU PAID FOR SUCKS.
Written graffiti? ACTUALLY, I LACK THE TALENT REQUIRED.
Still love someone you shouldn't? YES.
Think about the future? SURE WHY NOT.
Been in handcuffs? HA! THERE'S TWO PAIR ON MY DESK RIGHT NOW!
Believe in love? STILL DO.
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? AND HAVE THE BED-INDENTIONS TO PROVE IT.
Shoot. I didn't follow instructions again. And I tried so hard! * le sigh*
I have to answer yes or no with no explanation. I'm an explanation kind of gal so this is difficult for me. Really really really difficult. Yo.
Tim, Stephanie and Bridget did this on their blogs and I'm a follower so now I have, too. Here are the rules:
1.) You can ONLY answer YES or NO
2.) You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone comments and asks! Have fun and hope you enjoy these little tidbits of information!!
Have You Ever...
Kissed any of your Facebook friends? YES INDEEDY!
Been arrested? MANAGED TO AVOID IT
Been in a fight? YES I HAVE!
Fallen fast for someone? I TRIPPED!
Regretted a relationship? CAN WE ALL SAY "I WAS JUST YOUNG?!?!"
Been in a tornado? NO I HID IN THE BATHTUB, DUH.
Fallen asleep at work/school? ARE WE NOT SUPPOSED TO?
Ran a red light? IN SOME COUNTRIES RED MEANS GO, RIGHT?!
Experienced love at first sight? LOVE? NO. LUST? UH..COME TO MAMA! *COUGH*timmcgraw*COUGH*
Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident? NOPE JUST THE PERSON I RAN INTO'S CAR.
Been fired from a job? FIRED OR LET GO? HA!
Fired somebody? I TELL MY KIDS THEY'RE FIRED WHEN I'M REALLY MAD.
Sang karaoke? CAN I CLAIM A 5th ON THIS ONE? AS IN, "I DRANK A 5th AND I DON'T REMEMBER DETAILS?"
Pointed a gun at someone? OH UMHMMMMMM ACTUALLY NOT at THEM.
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE, ACTUALLY.
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? ONCE I PUKED AND A WHOLE SPAGHETTI NOODLE CAME HALFWAY OUT MY NOSE AND WE HAD TO PULL THE REST OF IT OUT.
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? I THINK SO BUT IT MELTED BEFORE I COULD CHECK.
Kissed in the rain? WITH OR WITHOUT TONGUE?
Swam in the ocean? YEP. WELL, IT WAS REALLY MORE LIKE SUCKING SALT WATER BUT WHATEV.
Been to a concert? A FEW. INXS, NIN, TORI AMOS, THE CURE, THIRD DAY, JEREMY CAMP...
Laughed till you cried? SURE, BUT HAVE YOU EVER CRIED TIL YOU LAUGHED?!?
Sang in the shower? I SING ON THE TOILET, DUH.
Smoked a cigar? WHY, DO YOU HAVE ONE TO SHARE?
Sat on a rooftop? SAT, STOOD, PRETENDED I WAS A BIRD. WHATEV.
Smuggled something into another country? THERE ARE OTHER COUNTRIES BESIDES THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?!?
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? NO BECAUSE I DON'T USUALLY CARRY MY WHOLE CLOSET WITH ME. BUT I'VE BEEN PUSHED IN FULLY CLOTHED BEFORE.
Broken a bone? JUST MY BUTT.
Skipped school? HMMMM....I THINK I SKIPPED MY WHOLE SENIOR YEAR, EH MA?!
Got a speeding ticket? HONEST, I DIDN'T KNOW I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE GOING 85 OFFICER.
Eaten a bug? COVER IT IN CHOCOLATE AND IT AIN'T HALF BAD.
Sleepwalked? I DUNNO, I'M ASLEEP.
Walked a moonlit beach? I DON'T HAVE A LEASH LONG ENOUGH.
Rode a motorcycle / dirt bike? ONLY WITH A MORMON GUY ABOUT TO GO ON HIS MISSION WHEN I WAS 19 YEARS OLD. WASN'T AS ORGASMIC AS I'D HOPED IT WOULD BE. HMPH.
Dumped someone? DUMPED THEM WHERE?
Seen a baby born? JUST THE ONES I BIRTHED. OH AND ON THAT MIRACLE OF LIFE NOVA SPECIAL.
Lied to avoid a ticket? THERE WAS ALWAYS SOME TRUTH TO THE STORY.
Ridden in a helicopter? MY UNCLE USED TO FLY FOR LIFEFLIGHT, SO YES.
Shaved your head? I WANTED TO ONCE BUT ROB SAID NO.
Played a prank on someone? DER.
Hit a home run? I DON'T PLAY BASEBALL, OR SOFTBALL. BUT I *AM* FAMILIAR WITH HOMEBASE. HA!
Felt like killing someone? ONCE. THE END.
Cross dressed? REMEMBER GRUNGE?
Been falling down drunk? THAT WAS A FRIDAY NIGHT BACK IN THE DAY!
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? IF I DUMPED YOU WOULDN'T YOU CRY TOO?
Marched/Protested? I MARCH TO THE BEAT OF A DIFFERENT DRUMMER.
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? ARE THOSE THINGS FOR REAL?
Puked on an amusement ride? PANSY.
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? I'M BOYCOTTING IHOP RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THEY'RE A BUNCH OF LAME ASS DORKS.
Been in a band? NO BUT I'VE BEEN A GROUPIE. HA! KIDDING!! (MOSTLY)
Knitted or crocheted? I'VE HAD CHILDREN KNIT IN MY WOMB. DOES THAT COUNT?
Been on TV? WE HAVE A WEDDING VIDEO, DOES THAT COUNT?
Shot a gun? I LIVE IN MONTANA.
Skinny dipped? I'VE EVEN CHUNKY DUNKED.
Gave someone stitches? I ONLY PLAY A NURSE ON TV.
Eaten whole jalapeno pepper? WHY?
Ridden a surfboard? SADLY, NO.
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? JOSE CUERVO YOU ARE A FRIEND OF MINE.
Had surgery? BYE-BYE TONSILS.
Streaked? I'LL NEVER TELL!! *COUGHCOUGH*YES*COUGHCOUGH*
Taken by ambulance to hospital? OY.
Tripped on mushrooms? SADLY NO. OH, I MEAN..UH...WELL..I STOPPED DOING RECREATIONAL (ONLY MEDICINAL NOW, YO) DRUGS BEFORE I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO PARTAKE.
Passed out when not drinking? UM, NO.
Peed outside? I LIVE IN MONTANA.
Donated blood? ABSOLUTELY. EVERYONE SHOULD. DID YOU KNOW THAT YOUR ONE DONATION CAN SAVE UP TO THREE LIVES?!
Grabbed electric fence? GRABBED IT WHY? FOR WHAT REASON? MORONS.
Eaten alligator meat? NOPE, JUST RATTLESNAKE.
Eaten cheesecake? WHY? DO YOU HAVE SOME?!
Eaten a kids' Halloween candy? HOW HORRIBLE! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING? *BATSEYES*
Killed an animal when not hunting? UM, DAMNED PRARIE DOGS AND TARGET SHOOTING. OTHERWISE KNOWN AS: I LIVED IN WYOMING.
Peed your pants in public? I'VE HAD FOUR KIDS. AMEN.
Snuck into a movie without paying? IT DOSN'T COUNT IF THE MOVIE YOU PAID FOR SUCKS.
Written graffiti? ACTUALLY, I LACK THE TALENT REQUIRED.
Still love someone you shouldn't? YES.
Think about the future? SURE WHY NOT.
Been in handcuffs? HA! THERE'S TWO PAIR ON MY DESK RIGHT NOW!
Believe in love? STILL DO.
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? AND HAVE THE BED-INDENTIONS TO PROVE IT.
Shoot. I didn't follow instructions again. And I tried so hard! * le sigh*
Re-Runs and Leftovers: Getting to Know Me
(an excerpt from a reallllly long post...)
15 random things about myself:
1. I have a mole on my forehead that I want removed. Badly. It started out as a cute little mole when I was a kid and has morphed into this massive old lady mole. I keep waiting for it to start talking like the boil on that kids' face in Fairly Odd Parents.
2. I have a potty mouth. It's horrible, really. All three of my kids said the 'S' word in their top five first words. Gold star for mommy.
3. Right after Rob and I got married, I got back the dreaded "Bad Pap". I had to have numerous procedures to remove all of the cancerous and precancerous cells on my cervix - the final one being that they cut a portion of my cervix off. Did you know that your cervix regenerates itself?! Anyway. I haven't had a bad pap since.
4. I used to smoke. Hush. Stop saying Eww. Yk what? If it didn't, yk, kill people? I'd still smoke. I miss it. I enjoyed it. So there.
5. My favorite drink is a strawberry margarita on the rocks. Jose Cuervo IS a friend of mine. Well, he was. I haven't had one in 5 years or more.
6. I don't like cake. Or pancakes.
7. In high school most of the girls thought I was a slut, but I was still a virgin.
8. I love the smell of my husbands deoderant.
9. When we go out to eat at a family restaurant, 90% of the time I get the same thing: Chicken Fried Steak with hashbrown and eggs. Well, I used to before we had Brennan.
10. I don't like it when people (other than my immediate family) touch me. I hate that everyone feels the need to hug you wherever you go. Haven't seen me in awhile? Awww *hug* What? I've been sick? Awww *hug* You've been constipated? Awww! *hug* Ugh. Get off of me already.
11. To follow that up - I don't kiss people. Keep your spit to yourself, thankyouverymuch. I kiss my mom and dad - on the cheek and only on ocassion. I kiss the kids and Rob more freely. It's personal and intimate an I'd really rather not have that moment with you, mmkay?
12. I broke my tailbone when I was 20. I was hanging out with some of Rob's friends and there was imbibing going on. We went exploring in a house that was being constructed across the field. It was the middle of the night. It was dark. I fell through the hole in the floor where the stairs would eventually go, to the sub floor. Still hurts.
13. I love beef. Hamburger being my favorite. It's so ghetto white trash, I know. It is what it is.
14. I don't vaccinate the kids with every recommended vax, and I delay them so they're not getting a bunch at once. I think the flu vax is a crock.
15. I don't believe in circumcision. If you want to do it, that's fine, I'm not going to berate you or tell you you're wrong. I don't usually even speak out about it but I do not think it is a medically necessary procedure and it most often done for cosmetic reasons and to uphold tradition.
There ya go..15 random things about me, as they popped into my head.
Originally posted by heidi at 7:14 AM on Tuesday, November 18, 2008
15 random things about myself:
1. I have a mole on my forehead that I want removed. Badly. It started out as a cute little mole when I was a kid and has morphed into this massive old lady mole. I keep waiting for it to start talking like the boil on that kids' face in Fairly Odd Parents.
2. I have a potty mouth. It's horrible, really. All three of my kids said the 'S' word in their top five first words. Gold star for mommy.
3. Right after Rob and I got married, I got back the dreaded "Bad Pap". I had to have numerous procedures to remove all of the cancerous and precancerous cells on my cervix - the final one being that they cut a portion of my cervix off. Did you know that your cervix regenerates itself?! Anyway. I haven't had a bad pap since.
4. I used to smoke. Hush. Stop saying Eww. Yk what? If it didn't, yk, kill people? I'd still smoke. I miss it. I enjoyed it. So there.
5. My favorite drink is a strawberry margarita on the rocks. Jose Cuervo IS a friend of mine. Well, he was. I haven't had one in 5 years or more.
6. I don't like cake. Or pancakes.
7. In high school most of the girls thought I was a slut, but I was still a virgin.
8. I love the smell of my husbands deoderant.
9. When we go out to eat at a family restaurant, 90% of the time I get the same thing: Chicken Fried Steak with hashbrown and eggs. Well, I used to before we had Brennan.
10. I don't like it when people (other than my immediate family) touch me. I hate that everyone feels the need to hug you wherever you go. Haven't seen me in awhile? Awww *hug* What? I've been sick? Awww *hug* You've been constipated? Awww! *hug* Ugh. Get off of me already.
11. To follow that up - I don't kiss people. Keep your spit to yourself, thankyouverymuch. I kiss my mom and dad - on the cheek and only on ocassion. I kiss the kids and Rob more freely. It's personal and intimate an I'd really rather not have that moment with you, mmkay?
12. I broke my tailbone when I was 20. I was hanging out with some of Rob's friends and there was imbibing going on. We went exploring in a house that was being constructed across the field. It was the middle of the night. It was dark. I fell through the hole in the floor where the stairs would eventually go, to the sub floor. Still hurts.
13. I love beef. Hamburger being my favorite. It's so ghetto white trash, I know. It is what it is.
14. I don't vaccinate the kids with every recommended vax, and I delay them so they're not getting a bunch at once. I think the flu vax is a crock.
15. I don't believe in circumcision. If you want to do it, that's fine, I'm not going to berate you or tell you you're wrong. I don't usually even speak out about it but I do not think it is a medically necessary procedure and it most often done for cosmetic reasons and to uphold tradition.
There ya go..15 random things about me, as they popped into my head.
Originally posted by heidi at 7:14 AM on Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Monday, August 17, 2009
From a Mama to Obama.
Dear President Obama,
I hope you enjoyed your recent trip to Montana. I hope you came away from it knowing that we are actually civilized human beings a long way from Washington that have some valid concerns. Concerns about where our jobs are going. Concerns about where we are going to get healthcare from and where the sense is in penalizing people that can't afford it.
Also, perhaps you saw that since it rained and hailed and was barely 75 degrees this weekend, Global Warming isn't a major concern here. We're kind of freezing.
I did want to talk to you about one thing, though. I'm a little irritated so I'll try and be kind.
Yellowstone is a beautiful site to behold, isn't it? All of the wonderful forces of nature coming together to create such awesome sites? I know. We took the family there this last weekend to see it. Did you know it was free entrance weekend at the park? We did. Did you know that it's a huge weekend (traffic wise) because many families can't afford the per car entry fee AND gas to go to Yellowstone? We did. Did you know that when you decide to visit Old Faithful in the middle of one of the busiest weekends that it shut down not only the visitors center, lodge and Old Faithul but the entire freaking road THROUGH the park? We did.
Cars were backed up for MILES and many ended up turning around because it was lunch time and people needed to eat. Gone were the plans to eat at the lodge. Gone were the plans to picnic and go see all of the geysers such as Daisy and Old Faithful. Gone were the patience of parents with carloads of screaming, bored, HUNGRY children. Parents that had to take their children to the roadside to potty and ended up getting peed on by said children.
A thousand people were allowed to stay in the area while you and your family saw Old Faithful. That's probably about 1/10th of the amount of people that were in the park. The rest of us were waiting, not so patiently, to go in or get by.
My youngest, Brennan, made a little video for you that just sums it all up. Hope you enjoy:
I hope you enjoyed your recent trip to Montana. I hope you came away from it knowing that we are actually civilized human beings a long way from Washington that have some valid concerns. Concerns about where our jobs are going. Concerns about where we are going to get healthcare from and where the sense is in penalizing people that can't afford it.
Also, perhaps you saw that since it rained and hailed and was barely 75 degrees this weekend, Global Warming isn't a major concern here. We're kind of freezing.
I did want to talk to you about one thing, though. I'm a little irritated so I'll try and be kind.
Yellowstone is a beautiful site to behold, isn't it? All of the wonderful forces of nature coming together to create such awesome sites? I know. We took the family there this last weekend to see it. Did you know it was free entrance weekend at the park? We did. Did you know that it's a huge weekend (traffic wise) because many families can't afford the per car entry fee AND gas to go to Yellowstone? We did. Did you know that when you decide to visit Old Faithful in the middle of one of the busiest weekends that it shut down not only the visitors center, lodge and Old Faithul but the entire freaking road THROUGH the park? We did.
Cars were backed up for MILES and many ended up turning around because it was lunch time and people needed to eat. Gone were the plans to eat at the lodge. Gone were the plans to picnic and go see all of the geysers such as Daisy and Old Faithful. Gone were the patience of parents with carloads of screaming, bored, HUNGRY children. Parents that had to take their children to the roadside to potty and ended up getting peed on by said children.
A thousand people were allowed to stay in the area while you and your family saw Old Faithful. That's probably about 1/10th of the amount of people that were in the park. The rest of us were waiting, not so patiently, to go in or get by.
My youngest, Brennan, made a little video for you that just sums it all up. Hope you enjoy:
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Friday Freebie Winner!!!
Thanks so much for playing along! The winner of this last Friday Freebie is...
Which is...
But since Tracy doesn't have a blog, I can't link you to her.
Congrats Tracy! Now quit whining. *wink* Hit me on IM and we'll pick something out!
Re-Runs & Leftovers: The Letter of the Day
I'm not good at words that start with 'C'.
Compassion. It really sucks to be bad at this, but really - I'm the mom that tells her kid to suck it up, pick herself up off the sidewalk and shake it off. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. My Cara is really teaching me a lesson in compassion. So, thanks God, for her and the lessons she's teaching me.
Compromise. My way or the highway, man. I'm a selfish little twit. I'm hard headed. I'm relentless. (Man, I sound like a GREAT person, don't I? LOL) Sienna is teaching me to compromise. She wants to argue every point and point out to me the ways we can meet in the middle. "Look mom, I can STILL be grounded but how about if we still let Sarah eat over her so she doesn't have to eat Ravioli out of a can, alone, and I'll just eat dinner by myself in my room." Lordy, this girl kills me. Thanks for her, too.
Concessions. I don't make them easily. It's like waving a white flag of surrender and I'm a fighter by nature. I can't go to bed if the house is trashed. I can't leave the bathroom if the sink is filthy. THere are just some things I HAVE to do. Until recently, it was a MUST that all dishes be done or at least loaded into the dishwasher before bed. The downstairs must be picked up and the dining room cleaned, as well. Look, if I don't do it tonight I'm gonna have to do it tomorrow, and I'd rather start tomorrow with a clean slate. Yeah, I KNOW you're nodding your head. I can hear the rocks rattlin'. *wink* But, the past few nights, I've neatly stacked the dishes in the sink and wiped down the counters of the kitchen. I've taken care of the dishes in the morning. And I didn't suffocate in my sleep or ANYTHING. Nothing bad happened, at all. So, I'm learning to make some concessions, too.
'C' is for cookie. That's good enough for me. 'C' is for cookie, and that's my favorite treat. I am compassionately compromising by conceeding my love for Brennan outweighs my love for cookies.
C is also for Corban. Corban is a spitfire ball of energy and emotion. He tires me out. He wears me down. He is the one child of mine that has brought me to tears almost on a weekly basis. He is my biggest challenge (See? I put a c word in there.) But I am grateful that he is teaching me whatever it is I'm supposed to learn from him. Because he sure is a sweet, fun little guy and I am really quite smitten with him.
Originally
Compassion. It really sucks to be bad at this, but really - I'm the mom that tells her kid to suck it up, pick herself up off the sidewalk and shake it off. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. My Cara is really teaching me a lesson in compassion. So, thanks God, for her and the lessons she's teaching me.
Compromise. My way or the highway, man. I'm a selfish little twit. I'm hard headed. I'm relentless. (Man, I sound like a GREAT person, don't I? LOL) Sienna is teaching me to compromise. She wants to argue every point and point out to me the ways we can meet in the middle. "Look mom, I can STILL be grounded but how about if we still let Sarah eat over her so she doesn't have to eat Ravioli out of a can, alone, and I'll just eat dinner by myself in my room." Lordy, this girl kills me. Thanks for her, too.
Concessions. I don't make them easily. It's like waving a white flag of surrender and I'm a fighter by nature. I can't go to bed if the house is trashed. I can't leave the bathroom if the sink is filthy. THere are just some things I HAVE to do. Until recently, it was a MUST that all dishes be done or at least loaded into the dishwasher before bed. The downstairs must be picked up and the dining room cleaned, as well. Look, if I don't do it tonight I'm gonna have to do it tomorrow, and I'd rather start tomorrow with a clean slate. Yeah, I KNOW you're nodding your head. I can hear the rocks rattlin'. *wink* But, the past few nights, I've neatly stacked the dishes in the sink and wiped down the counters of the kitchen. I've taken care of the dishes in the morning. And I didn't suffocate in my sleep or ANYTHING. Nothing bad happened, at all. So, I'm learning to make some concessions, too.
'C' is for cookie. That's good enough for me. 'C' is for cookie, and that's my favorite treat. I am compassionately compromising by conceeding my love for Brennan outweighs my love for cookies.
C is also for Corban. Corban is a spitfire ball of energy and emotion. He tires me out. He wears me down. He is the one child of mine that has brought me to tears almost on a weekly basis. He is my biggest challenge (See? I put a c word in there.) But I am grateful that he is teaching me whatever it is I'm supposed to learn from him. Because he sure is a sweet, fun little guy and I am really quite smitten with him.
Originally
Friday, August 14, 2009
Friday Freebie!!!!
UGH! My stupid internet went down last night and JUST came back up. They aren't sure how stable it is so it may go down throughout the day. Really? I mean..seriously? You can't fix this? The whole world relies on the internet and you don't have a backup plan or something? For crying out loud! Of course, Obama's in town so it's probably a conspiracy to keep the bloggers from talking about his town hall meeeting this morning. HA! That was dedicated to my conspiracy theory loving husband. Who also happens to have a really nice backside. *wink*
ANYWAY.
I didn't hear back from the person who was to host the FF today so I'm pinch hitting.
This month is my 1 year blogoversary and I KNOW I said there wasn't going to be a giveaway extravaganza (and there's not) but what would an anniversary be without a little bling, right?
Have you ever been to this site? I heart it. I order stuff there for gifts all the time. They'recheap inexpensive and the jewelry is pretty. I even have a few pieces that I've kept for myself.
Today I want to buy you a little blingy-bling. Due to the nature of the site, and the fact that the inventory is ever changing - I can't tell you exactly which piece it is so this prize is going to be a bit more complicated.
Here's how it will work - you enter to win, I pick a name, we coordinate efforts - via IM, email or phone - and we get you the piece you want. Difficult only because we have to sync our busy schedules together - the rest is easy.
So, enter to win by leaving me a comment, as usual. An extra entry for blogging about it and linking back to me (leave a separate comment telling me you've done so, please!).
Since I'm going to Yellowstone tomorrow to seeObama the wildlife and geysers (which one spews hot air and water, again?), I'm going to leave this one up a little longer than normal. Contest will close Sunday morning at 5am PST. I'll announce the winner sometime that day.
As always, thanks for hanging with me and congratulations on making it through another week! Can I get a woot, woot?!
Funky Cold Medina, ya'll.
ANYWAY.
I didn't hear back from the person who was to host the FF today so I'm pinch hitting.
This month is my 1 year blogoversary and I KNOW I said there wasn't going to be a giveaway extravaganza (and there's not) but what would an anniversary be without a little bling, right?
Have you ever been to this site? I heart it. I order stuff there for gifts all the time. They're
Today I want to buy you a little blingy-bling. Due to the nature of the site, and the fact that the inventory is ever changing - I can't tell you exactly which piece it is so this prize is going to be a bit more complicated.
Here's how it will work - you enter to win, I pick a name, we coordinate efforts - via IM, email or phone - and we get you the piece you want. Difficult only because we have to sync our busy schedules together - the rest is easy.
So, enter to win by leaving me a comment, as usual. An extra entry for blogging about it and linking back to me (leave a separate comment telling me you've done so, please!).
Since I'm going to Yellowstone tomorrow to see
As always, thanks for hanging with me and congratulations on making it through another week! Can I get a woot, woot?!
Funky Cold Medina, ya'll.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Re-Runs & Leftovers: God Smote Me
Yesterday I made fun of Courtney Love and her little 'wardrobe malfunction'. You didn't see it? Yeah, it's at the bottom of the longest post in history. I might win an award for most links used. Uh huh. Anyway. So yesterday I did that. And yk what? Today at church God said - "Thou shalt not make fun of people, lest it happen to you." Mmmmhmmmm. That's right ladies and gentlemen, we had boob action at church today courtesy of yours truly. Good thing it was the full side so it looked all nice and plump and not all dangly like the side that had been previously sucked dry. Yes indeedy. I am someone you'd be PROUD to take to church.
I was wearing the shirt below. Please note, until today I did NOT notice that one of those flower thingys looks like a strippers pasty (pastie?). Yep. Right over the ole nipple. Nothing says "Look at my boobs!" like a well placed flower-thingy design.
So, I was wearin' this shirt:
Can ya guess what happened? Little boy hands grabbed and pulled until WHAM - out pops my left boob. In the middle of SS. Yeah, there are DADDIES in our SS class for little ones. Praise the Lord and Hallelujah for boobies! For they are fearfully and wonderfully made. At least it was encased in a beautiful white nursing bra. :-p Can I get a witness?!
To Courtney Love, honey, I feel your pain. Sorry I pointed at you and laughed with all of my imaginary friends. I've been smoted. Smited. Definitely not smitten.
The end.
Originally
I was wearing the shirt below. Please note, until today I did NOT notice that one of those flower thingys looks like a strippers pasty (pastie?). Yep. Right over the ole nipple. Nothing says "Look at my boobs!" like a well placed flower-thingy design.
So, I was wearin' this shirt:
Can ya guess what happened? Little boy hands grabbed and pulled until WHAM - out pops my left boob. In the middle of SS. Yeah, there are DADDIES in our SS class for little ones. Praise the Lord and Hallelujah for boobies! For they are fearfully and wonderfully made. At least it was encased in a beautiful white nursing bra. :-p Can I get a witness?!
To Courtney Love, honey, I feel your pain. Sorry I pointed at you and laughed with all of my imaginary friends. I've been smoted. Smited. Definitely not smitten.
The end.
Originally
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Mo' Bettah!
You know me...I'm not one to shrink away from a challenge. So when I got this challenge in my email I was all, "Hook me up!" and they certainly did!
No sooner did I have the box open than I was pounced on by a group of kids dying of thirst in the desert. We read the inserts and the kids all tasted the goods.
And they proclaimed it good.
When I told them the story of Wat-aah, they wanted to proclaim the goodness to more people. They got their crazy on, grabbed the stickers, bottles and tattoos and we headed off to the mall to hand them out.
Nothing like free marketing, eh?
Speaking of free marketing, they made a commerical for you:
No sooner did I have the box open than I was pounced on by a group of kids dying of thirst in the desert. We read the inserts and the kids all tasted the goods.
And they proclaimed it good.
When I told them the story of Wat-aah, they wanted to proclaim the goodness to more people. They got their crazy on, grabbed the stickers, bottles and tattoos and we headed off to the mall to hand them out.
Nothing like free marketing, eh?
Speaking of free marketing, they made a commerical for you:
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
He thinks my tractor's sexy...
I have a distorted view of myself. When I look in the mirror all I can see are my imperfections. My chin is too small, my cheeks are chubby, my skin is terrible, my teeth are rotten, my arms have swingy-skin, my stomach sticks out, my arse is too big and I give new meaning to the term "thunder thighs". And that's just my first glance assessment. Even though I've just lost a bunch of weight and dropped a few sizes it's just not good enough. Will it ever be good enough?
No, probably not.
I'm not sure what Rob sees when he looks at me but it certainly isn't the same thing I see. Thank God.
Rob? He think's my tractor's sexy. After 14 years and 4 kids he still thinks I'm beautiful and sexy. Though there are the odd times when I find the whole business annoying, I'm thankful that he has on rose colored beer goggles when he looks at me.
Don't tell him but I still have a crush on him, too.
No, probably not.
I'm not sure what Rob sees when he looks at me but it certainly isn't the same thing I see. Thank God.
Rob? He think's my tractor's sexy. After 14 years and 4 kids he still thinks I'm beautiful and sexy. Though there are the odd times when I find the whole business annoying, I'm thankful that he has on rose colored beer goggles when he looks at me.
Don't tell him but I still have a crush on him, too.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Re-Runs and Leftovers
This month is my 1 year blogoversary. Neat-o, eh? I've been spilling drivel here at this address for nearly one full year and haven't embarrassed myself into obscurity yet. I think that means this here blog might be a success!
I'm not having a giveaway extravaganza. I don't have any great pearls of wisdom for you. (I do have a great set of pearls, though!) But I am going to pick a few of my favorite posts and re-run them throughout the month. I knew you'd be excited. Maybe you missed my brilliance in the early days of Sacred & Profane? Well, here's your chance to partake and bask in the glow.
Let's get this party started with a little ditty about Jack & Diane...
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
I was thinking, last night, about advertising/marketing and focus groups. I won't tell you what I was doing when I was thinking of this, but I'm sure you'll guess. Anyway, so I was wondering what the focus groups were like for things like KY Jelly. I mean - how do those work? Do they have all these people in a room with some KY, coffee and a questionnaire? Do you get some samples, get sent home and then come back to kiss and tell? What about the focus groups for condoms? Who do they hand those out to? They have some guy standing in the mall asking shoppers to be part of the new Trojan Lubricated Ribbed for Her Pleasure Vibrating Jellyfish Condom? Wouldn't you run away screaming or smack the guy? Maybe they just have a pool of names - yk, college students that need money and are a bit loose with the morals? How DOES it all work??
Inquiring minds want to know.
I'm not having a giveaway extravaganza. I don't have any great pearls of wisdom for you. (I do have a great set of pearls, though!) But I am going to pick a few of my favorite posts and re-run them throughout the month. I knew you'd be excited. Maybe you missed my brilliance in the early days of Sacred & Profane? Well, here's your chance to partake and bask in the glow.
Let's get this party started with a little ditty about Jack & Diane...
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Focus
Just a quick thought..I was thinking, last night, about advertising/marketing and focus groups. I won't tell you what I was doing when I was thinking of this, but I'm sure you'll guess. Anyway, so I was wondering what the focus groups were like for things like KY Jelly. I mean - how do those work? Do they have all these people in a room with some KY, coffee and a questionnaire? Do you get some samples, get sent home and then come back to kiss and tell? What about the focus groups for condoms? Who do they hand those out to? They have some guy standing in the mall asking shoppers to be part of the new Trojan Lubricated Ribbed for Her Pleasure Vibrating Jellyfish Condom? Wouldn't you run away screaming or smack the guy? Maybe they just have a pool of names - yk, college students that need money and are a bit loose with the morals? How DOES it all work??
Inquiring minds want to know.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Friday Freebie!!!!
Look, I'm totally swamped with this yard sale today. I'm hoping (you should hope &/or pray too!) that it's not gonna rain like predicted because I need to earn money to pay medical bills and fix broken down vans! Plus? I hate holding yard sales. It's like - 150% work to 30% profit. That, my friends, is not equal. Oh, look, I'm getting all whiney again. Gotta take the bull by the horns and be positive.
So, yeah, it's FRIDAY! You made it through the week. But why are you even HERE? Do you not know by now that the first Friday of the month is Freebie day over at Mimi's place? DUH! What? You wanna host a Friday Freebie? Well! I'm honored that you asked! Email me! I'm open from the beginning of September to the end of the year. Let me know and we'll hook it up!
Ok, enough about me..more about you. YOU could win something faboo if you head over to Mimi's and enter! Oh, feel free to let me know you stopped by and say hi. There's 133 of you registered and who knows how many silently readining along. A Nice "How do ya do" every once in awhile isn't asking too much is it?
At any rate, head over to my friend (I elect her for sainthood for hosting each month!) Mimi's place and win something great!
So, yeah, it's FRIDAY! You made it through the week. But why are you even HERE? Do you not know by now that the first Friday of the month is Freebie day over at Mimi's place? DUH! What? You wanna host a Friday Freebie? Well! I'm honored that you asked! Email me! I'm open from the beginning of September to the end of the year. Let me know and we'll hook it up!
Ok, enough about me..more about you. YOU could win something faboo if you head over to Mimi's and enter! Oh, feel free to let me know you stopped by and say hi. There's 133 of you registered and who knows how many silently readining along. A Nice "How do ya do" every once in awhile isn't asking too much is it?
At any rate, head over to my friend (I elect her for sainthood for hosting each month!) Mimi's place and win something great!
That there? Her name in lights. Click on it and go win something. It's worth it, I swear.
Happy Friday to ya!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Seriously Stupid.
After two years of no flow, I started my period last week. Yep, 14 months after the birth of my 4th child. That's the longest time, yet! And since the topic is fresh on my mind, I'd like to address it.
What the sam hill is with this advertising campaign to "Have a Happy Period"?!?! How insulting is that?! Was it thought up by a man? Have a happy period. Psh. Happiness is an exclamation point, NOT a period if we're talking punctuation. Happiness is NOT cramps and emotions and moodiness. Happiness is not eating everything that isn't nailed down. Happiness is NOT period panties and tampons and pads.
Always thinks that I should have a happy period. They even have ecards you can send to your friends encouraging THEM to have a happy period. Isn't that thoughtful?
Let me tell you something...there are only two times in your life when your period is happy:
1) After you've made a mistake. Oh don't get all high and mighty on me - I don't just mean that "Snap, I can't believe I slept with him!" kind of mistake. Though that certainly fits the bill! I'm also including the "Crap, I forgot a pill last week." mistake and the "Oh, just forget the condom this time, honey!" mistake. Then you sweat it out for 3 weeks waiting for your period to start. When you walk into the bathroom and the clouds part, the angels sing and the blood doth flow? THAT is a happy period.
2) When you've been married for awhile you know that your period is a 5-7 day vacation from having sex. Yeah, I said it. Sometimes we just look forward to having an actual indisputable reason to say no, ok? No one better tell me I can have sex while on my period or I'm gonna kick you in the teeth. I can swim and horseback ride and do gymnastics on my period (right, Tampax?) but I do not want to have sex on my period.
That's it. Those are the only two times.
And P.S.? Wearing a pad makes my period even LESS happy. Nothing like sitting in a messy diaper to brighten your day, eh? Marketing FAIL, Always. Serously Stupid.
What the sam hill is with this advertising campaign to "Have a Happy Period"?!?! How insulting is that?! Was it thought up by a man? Have a happy period. Psh. Happiness is an exclamation point, NOT a period if we're talking punctuation. Happiness is NOT cramps and emotions and moodiness. Happiness is not eating everything that isn't nailed down. Happiness is NOT period panties and tampons and pads.
Always thinks that I should have a happy period. They even have ecards you can send to your friends encouraging THEM to have a happy period. Isn't that thoughtful?
Let me tell you something...there are only two times in your life when your period is happy:
1) After you've made a mistake. Oh don't get all high and mighty on me - I don't just mean that "Snap, I can't believe I slept with him!" kind of mistake. Though that certainly fits the bill! I'm also including the "Crap, I forgot a pill last week." mistake and the "Oh, just forget the condom this time, honey!" mistake. Then you sweat it out for 3 weeks waiting for your period to start. When you walk into the bathroom and the clouds part, the angels sing and the blood doth flow? THAT is a happy period.
2) When you've been married for awhile you know that your period is a 5-7 day vacation from having sex. Yeah, I said it. Sometimes we just look forward to having an actual indisputable reason to say no, ok? No one better tell me I can have sex while on my period or I'm gonna kick you in the teeth. I can swim and horseback ride and do gymnastics on my period (right, Tampax?) but I do not want to have sex on my period.
That's it. Those are the only two times.
And P.S.? Wearing a pad makes my period even LESS happy. Nothing like sitting in a messy diaper to brighten your day, eh? Marketing FAIL, Always. Serously Stupid.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Workin' 9 to 5
I hate my job. I do, I hate it. Oh sure, yeah, great it's cool that I get to work from home. Yeah, I get it. I'm taking it for granted. Whatever. I make barely above minimum wage; my hours are not set in stone and I can go from 40 hours a week to 9 in the time it takes to send out an email; management is umm..interesting; they spread my shifts out so that I may only work 6 hours in a day but I work it from 6-7am then 9-11am and 12-1 then 3-4 to finish off the night from 10-11pm. Add to all of that that I work from HOME so I also am still being mom, wife, nanny, teacher, nurse, housekeeper and all around goddess. Whatever - I'm just bitter and I don't like my job.
So, I thought I'd make a list of jobs I WOULD like, yk, in theory. Let's just forget the fact that I lack any sort of recognizable skill to actually PERFORM any of these jobs, ok? This is MY fantasy and I can do what I want.
Extreme Makeover Home Edition or Deserving Design with Vern Yip- oh, c'mon...any show that lets me throw gobs of money at people who are in need and/or desperate? Is there any real question as to whether or not this would be a kick butt job? Plus I'd have hair and make-up people, wardrobe people and I'd get to go shopping for stuff with money that isn't mine. Duh.
What Not to Wear - using sarcasm and biting humor to belittle people and shame them into changing? Sign me right up! It'd be like having my own life size dress up dolls. Again, hair, make-up, wardrobe and shopping with other people's money.
Food Critic - how cool would it be to get paid to go eat at restaurants and critique the food? I want to be the family sized critic, though. I want to go into a restaurant with my whole family and judge it on it's service to families and the quality of food. Is it good for me AND my 3 year old? Do the chicken nuggets work as well as the London Broil? How did they handle the food throwing and temper tantrums? Were they quick? Did they offer to refill my wine glass frequently enough to keep a smile on my face while I dealt with my heathen brood? Was there a TV for my husband to stare at while this all occured? People would FEAR me ... well .. they already do. Yk, when you walk into a restaurant with 4 kids and they all do paper, rock, scissors to see who HAS to have you in their section? But I want a different kind of fear. And I want someone else to pick up the tab for dinner.
Speaking of food - I want to be Guy Fieri from Drive-In's, Diners and Dives. I don't want platinum spikey hair and I would wear my sunglasses forward, but I want his job. Greasy food? Comfort food? FREE food? Lordy, lordy, lordy. I think I'm all turned on, now.
Have you ever seen the show Three Sheets or Thirsty Traveler? Basically these guys travel all over the world drinking different kinds of alcohol. I'd get to travel AND my job would be to drink! Man, can you go wrong with that?? Though I rather like the idea of being more like Anthony Bourdain because he gets more into the place that he's traveled to and gets to eat, too. Plus Anthony is an unabashed smoker. I want to be an unabashed smoker, too. But, I'm abashed. I'm a reluctant non smoker. *sigh* I wonder if these guys have to come home and detox on the off season?
I love all of those things muy mucho, but what I think would be the coolest job in the world would be to have my own talk show. I'm thinking more Ellen than Dr. Phil. Definitely favor Bonnie Hunt over that O person. I want to be paid to be funny, witty and have everyone hang on my every word. Wardrobe, hair, makeup people at my side. Sponsorship - money and prizes to throw at people. Meeting stars, being sarcastic, traveling. It would be MY show so I could do whatever I wanted, yk, mostly. Rosie before she went all whack job. Basically, I could combine all of the above mentioned professions and make them into my own talk show/variety type show and I could do all of the jobs that I want for the price of one.
*sigh* That would rock my super cool striped socks.
So, I thought I'd make a list of jobs I WOULD like, yk, in theory. Let's just forget the fact that I lack any sort of recognizable skill to actually PERFORM any of these jobs, ok? This is MY fantasy and I can do what I want.
Extreme Makeover Home Edition or Deserving Design with Vern Yip- oh, c'mon...any show that lets me throw gobs of money at people who are in need and/or desperate? Is there any real question as to whether or not this would be a kick butt job? Plus I'd have hair and make-up people, wardrobe people and I'd get to go shopping for stuff with money that isn't mine. Duh.
What Not to Wear - using sarcasm and biting humor to belittle people and shame them into changing? Sign me right up! It'd be like having my own life size dress up dolls. Again, hair, make-up, wardrobe and shopping with other people's money.
Food Critic - how cool would it be to get paid to go eat at restaurants and critique the food? I want to be the family sized critic, though. I want to go into a restaurant with my whole family and judge it on it's service to families and the quality of food. Is it good for me AND my 3 year old? Do the chicken nuggets work as well as the London Broil? How did they handle the food throwing and temper tantrums? Were they quick? Did they offer to refill my wine glass frequently enough to keep a smile on my face while I dealt with my heathen brood? Was there a TV for my husband to stare at while this all occured? People would FEAR me ... well .. they already do. Yk, when you walk into a restaurant with 4 kids and they all do paper, rock, scissors to see who HAS to have you in their section? But I want a different kind of fear. And I want someone else to pick up the tab for dinner.
Speaking of food - I want to be Guy Fieri from Drive-In's, Diners and Dives. I don't want platinum spikey hair and I would wear my sunglasses forward, but I want his job. Greasy food? Comfort food? FREE food? Lordy, lordy, lordy. I think I'm all turned on, now.
Have you ever seen the show Three Sheets or Thirsty Traveler? Basically these guys travel all over the world drinking different kinds of alcohol. I'd get to travel AND my job would be to drink! Man, can you go wrong with that?? Though I rather like the idea of being more like Anthony Bourdain because he gets more into the place that he's traveled to and gets to eat, too. Plus Anthony is an unabashed smoker. I want to be an unabashed smoker, too. But, I'm abashed. I'm a reluctant non smoker. *sigh* I wonder if these guys have to come home and detox on the off season?
I love all of those things muy mucho, but what I think would be the coolest job in the world would be to have my own talk show. I'm thinking more Ellen than Dr. Phil. Definitely favor Bonnie Hunt over that O person. I want to be paid to be funny, witty and have everyone hang on my every word. Wardrobe, hair, makeup people at my side. Sponsorship - money and prizes to throw at people. Meeting stars, being sarcastic, traveling. It would be MY show so I could do whatever I wanted, yk, mostly. Rosie before she went all whack job. Basically, I could combine all of the above mentioned professions and make them into my own talk show/variety type show and I could do all of the jobs that I want for the price of one.
*sigh* That would rock my super cool striped socks.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Friday Freebie Winners!!!
Just in case you didn't see it at Kameron's place:
The winner of the Onesie or Tee is #9: Sara from Domestically Challenged
The winners of the 2 Better Homes and Gardens Subscriptions are:#10: Mimi from He & Me + 3
#23 (or number 5 on Heidi's 18+5=23 see how I did that!?) Heidi from Mommy doesn't live Here anymore
Heidi & Mimi - email me with your addresses ASAP so I can get these sent out to you! Sara? Email Kameron for your tee!
Thank you all for playing along and we'll see ya next Friday for another freebie!!
The winner of the Onesie or Tee is #9: Sara from Domestically Challenged
The winners of the 2 Better Homes and Gardens Subscriptions are:#10: Mimi from He & Me + 3
#23 (or number 5 on Heidi's 18+5=23 see how I did that!?) Heidi from Mommy doesn't live Here anymore
Heidi & Mimi - email me with your addresses ASAP so I can get these sent out to you! Sara? Email Kameron for your tee!
Thank you all for playing along and we'll see ya next Friday for another freebie!!
Saturday, August 1, 2009
It was the best of times...it was the worst of times...
The abreviated version:
Friday sucked monkey butt. This morning was awesome.
The extended version:
Friday sucked monkey butt.
It was a terrible, horrible, very bad, no good kind of day. I started the morning out by having my backside handed to me on a platter at work. I screwed up, I admit it. I made a mistake. Or five. And there was hell to pay. It haunted me all freaking day because I tend to be a perfectionist about work and I just don't make those kind of or that many mistakes. It was bad enough that not only was my immediate boss mad but the client was mad too. He mentioned me by name. *sigh* Dammit.
My kids we're staging a revolt. I had many errands to run and many boring tasks to do and they were having no part of it. I ended up hanging with a good friend at McDonalds, completely unscheduled, and literally blowing off half my errands because I just couldn't cope.
As of noon yesterday I *still* hadn't heard from the idiot surgeon regarding B and the possibility that he had a blockage of some sort. At 12:06 Rob texted me that the Dr should be calling me. By 3:30 I still hadn't heard from him. 4:45pm I'm at Target with all 4 kids. B and Corbs arebeating the crap out of each other sitting nicely and behaving in the stroller while the girls pick out their first day of school outfits (courtesy of Grandma - woot!) when my cell rings. It's him. The surgeon or, God's Gift to All Mankind were you to have the opportunity to ask him.
He has me on a freaking SPEAKER PHONE and wants to talk to me about what's going on. Only he hasn't talked to either of the pediatricians we see, yet. He has nothing other than phone messages. He initmates that B didn't have a UTI because the peds are incompetent and not to his level of expertise. Then he tells me he needs to see reports and records but doesn't have the time to deal with this. (Yeah, I know.) He tells me if it really WAS a UTI then we will have to do some diagnostic imaging to see if there's a blockage. We already have an appointment on the 17th to see him and we'll just wait until then to do anything. Because it's no big deal.
Yes, folks, he's too busy to deal with this. This being me, my defective child and the idiot pediatricians.
He's an asshat.
In the middle of the phone conversation Corban decides to freakin BITE B's finger so B is screaming like a madman and people are glaring at me for not getting off my phone and dealing with my kid. Are you kidding me? I waited for a week for this jerkoff to call me back, I'm not hanging up now.
Home again, home again, (jiggity jig) where's there are 2 more scathing emails waiting for me about my massive screw ups at work.
I quit. I gave up. Threw in the towel and called Friday a total loss.
Saturday morning was wonderful.
B woke up at 7:30 - he slept in! I pulled him into bed with us and he snoozed off and on for a bit until the other three kids woke up and piled into bed with us. We all snuggled and wrestled and generally had one of those picture perfect movie family moments. Then Sienna grabbed B and said she was going downstairs and that we should stay in bed and rest. So we did. Sienna and Cara proceeded to take care of the boys - feeding them and playing with them - AND they made us breeakfast and coffee and brought it up to us in bed. It was so wonderful!! We decided to head out for a bit to the goose poop infested pond. (In our defense, we didn't know it was infested til we got there.) Where we made a big ole moat and worked on castles and swam and ate chips. It was good. Came home and the girls each had a friend over all afternoon to play.
It's been a good day, even if my internet went down and B is weaning himself.
It was the best of times....it was the worst of times. Forever and ever Amen.
Friday sucked monkey butt. This morning was awesome.
The extended version:
Friday sucked monkey butt.
It was a terrible, horrible, very bad, no good kind of day. I started the morning out by having my backside handed to me on a platter at work. I screwed up, I admit it. I made a mistake. Or five. And there was hell to pay. It haunted me all freaking day because I tend to be a perfectionist about work and I just don't make those kind of or that many mistakes. It was bad enough that not only was my immediate boss mad but the client was mad too. He mentioned me by name. *sigh* Dammit.
My kids we're staging a revolt. I had many errands to run and many boring tasks to do and they were having no part of it. I ended up hanging with a good friend at McDonalds, completely unscheduled, and literally blowing off half my errands because I just couldn't cope.
As of noon yesterday I *still* hadn't heard from the idiot surgeon regarding B and the possibility that he had a blockage of some sort. At 12:06 Rob texted me that the Dr should be calling me. By 3:30 I still hadn't heard from him. 4:45pm I'm at Target with all 4 kids. B and Corbs are
He has me on a freaking SPEAKER PHONE and wants to talk to me about what's going on. Only he hasn't talked to either of the pediatricians we see, yet. He has nothing other than phone messages. He initmates that B didn't have a UTI because the peds are incompetent and not to his level of expertise. Then he tells me he needs to see reports and records but doesn't have the time to deal with this. (Yeah, I know.) He tells me if it really WAS a UTI then we will have to do some diagnostic imaging to see if there's a blockage. We already have an appointment on the 17th to see him and we'll just wait until then to do anything. Because it's no big deal.
Yes, folks, he's too busy to deal with this. This being me, my defective child and the idiot pediatricians.
He's an asshat.
In the middle of the phone conversation Corban decides to freakin BITE B's finger so B is screaming like a madman and people are glaring at me for not getting off my phone and dealing with my kid. Are you kidding me? I waited for a week for this jerkoff to call me back, I'm not hanging up now.
Home again, home again, (jiggity jig) where's there are 2 more scathing emails waiting for me about my massive screw ups at work.
I quit. I gave up. Threw in the towel and called Friday a total loss.
Saturday morning was wonderful.
B woke up at 7:30 - he slept in! I pulled him into bed with us and he snoozed off and on for a bit until the other three kids woke up and piled into bed with us. We all snuggled and wrestled and generally had one of those picture perfect movie family moments. Then Sienna grabbed B and said she was going downstairs and that we should stay in bed and rest. So we did. Sienna and Cara proceeded to take care of the boys - feeding them and playing with them - AND they made us breeakfast and coffee and brought it up to us in bed. It was so wonderful!! We decided to head out for a bit to the goose poop infested pond. (In our defense, we didn't know it was infested til we got there.) Where we made a big ole moat and worked on castles and swam and ate chips. It was good. Came home and the girls each had a friend over all afternoon to play.
It's been a good day, even if my internet went down and B is weaning himself.
It was the best of times....it was the worst of times. Forever and ever Amen.
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