I was so amused when I read this post from Amber.. well, wait. Amused is the wong word. I wasn't AMUSED. Nay. No. Hmm...so Amber was doing her duties and vacuuming up after the mess those people she lives with left behind..and inadvertantly sucked up somethign she shouldn't have. Well, uh, SHE didn't suck it up. No...Amber was not scooting around on the floor sucking things up into her mouth. She was using this thing called a vacuum and THAT sucked. It's a tale of woe, really. Not her fault at ALL though. Those Dysons are MUY powerful. (Dora spanish coming in handy here.) She can't be blamed for the power rating of a damned vacuum, can she? Sheesh!
ANYWAY.
So she said that her husband said, "You owe me."
HA!
"You owe me."
When I say that to Rob what I mean is - Clean the bathroom, fool. Or, "I'm going to the store ALONE. By mySELF and I'll be gone for 2 hours. Cope."
But whenever guys say "You owe me." What do they mean?
Exactly.
It's ALWAYS sex.
Why is that?? Is it a reflection of where we place our value? Women are like, 'Dude, you owe me so I'm going to take off by myself for two hours." or "Honey, you owe me BIG so I want you to clean the entire upstairs bathroom - By. Your. Self." And Men are like..leering! as they say "You owe me." And we women..we know. We know what you want. We don't LIKE owing you. You envision Poles, really high shoes and naughty clothes and at least 20 minutes of our precious TIME.
I couldn't find my debit card today but had to run to the store. I ran inside and asked Rob for his and Rob (who has had an abundant amount of sex lately, thankyouvermuch) says, "You owe me." And he leered. No, really, he leered. I knew...I knew what I owed him. Just for using his debit card I was going to owe him a sexual favor. Whereas if he had borrowed MY debit card I wouldn't have said anything other than, "Put it back in my wallet when your done, mmkay?"
Have we deprived our men so much that they seek out any and all opportunities to cash in? If we can OWE them then we HAVE to put out, right? I mean..in testosterone land that's a law, right?
I guess I better get moving since I'm writing this Sunday night and I OWE Rob for using his debit card. I'm glad he let me borrow it..I mean, if I'm gonna OWE him I figure he should at least buy me a bottle of wine first.
Thanks babe!
Mwah.
- heidi
- Montana, United States
- I'm a wife and mom of 5. I work part time from my home while I babysit various neighborhood kids in addition to all the full time duties of staying at home. Yay me. Where's my medal?
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22 comments:
Maybe if women were not so damn stingy with "it" in the first place, us guys wouldnt have to think of ways to get "it"! Besides, truth is, women like it just as much....so its all a game to get as much out of each other as we can, while still trying to get work done! You gals always win!
So get out those heels and hop on that pole, gf....and make it 30 min of your time!!
Oh girl...I feel your debit card woes. I have 2 sick kiddos and a quarantine for the next week. What else will we do to fill the time...hopefully, we won't be making a little H1N1 baby....LOL.
Our boys just need it!!! ;)
Is this when I say it's so funny because it's true? Just what I eneded to hear on Monday morning.
bwa ha ha ha ha...
yesterday was Dan's birthday....I won't even tell you what he wanted...I am sure you can guess. Needless to say I offered him a rain check :) (No Honey THAT does not get rid of headaches!!)
HAHAHAHAHA I use that line ALL.THE.TIME on Mike! HAHAHA!!!
And that's exactly what *I* mean as well. LOL
Funny....I just leered at him yesterday in the middle of CHURCH! People are gonna stop sitting anywhere around us during church....
LOL!!! Guys...
You are so right! My husband tries to claim I owe him at least once a day. And to him, repayment always involves really high heels. I'm going to start saying you owe mean and mean that you owe me a freakin' night where I'm not gropped on.
I dont want to ever get married! LOL
It is sad but true! I fear the hubbs has been keeping a tally of the IOUs because in my current condition there has been a big lack of that lately!
Funny! Thanks for the smile on this Monday morning! Mine is the same way...
XOOX
Jen
I have to say, I use this on my hubby. I tell him that he OWES me! Its great.
That is too funny but oh so true. Drives me crazy.
we usually make it an all out negotiation/treaty signing!!
he's all, 'you owe me.'
i'm all, 'exactly what will that entail?'
him: 'this, this and this.'
me: 'how 'bout just this?'
him: 'done within the next 24 hours.'
me: '36.'
him: '12.'
me: '24.'
him: 'SOLD!'
then, strangely, we both feel like winners!!
I would like to point out that:
A) I didn't cash in that night at all.
B) you didn't owe me for using my debit card, you owed me because you had no clue that your debit card was on you and you didn't want to look for it and you made me go up stairs to to get mine when I had just come from upstairs.
C) you NEVER would have told me to just put it back in your wallet because 80% of the time its not there. I find it all the time upstairs on the landing rail or in your picket after being washed.
and
D) every one knows the reason something is vacuumed up is not because the vacuum is too strong but because we humans won't bend down and pick up the big items first. And when something doesn't get sucked up, what do we do? We bend down, pick it up and look at it then throw it back down on the carpet and try sucking it up again!
oh and maybe if we had sex every other day men wouldn't be all "you owe me" ;) After all, is the big O' really that bad of an experience with the once believed man of your dreams? ;)
Wow! If I owed my husband everytime he did me a "favor" I would have the sexual equivalent of the national debt! I have got to make sure he doesn't read this...EVER!!
Love this. And I love how you used the word nay. I don't know what it amused me but it did...I love using that word...
And I see your husband commented on this. Love his explanation! :)
I don't OWE anybody anything anymore than once a week. My word, I'm tired!!!
Hahaha! My husband doesn't say I owe him...he just comes right out and asks for "it."
I'm laughing so hard at both Heidi's post and Dustmite's response. Seriously letter D - if the person who had DROPPED the dang thing had bothered to pick it up in the first place and not thought "hmmm i'll just leave it there 'cause the lady of the house will come by and pick it up later" we wouldn't have this lovely commentary about who owes who ;) See...men are devious- they're leaving the stuff on the floor in the first place 'cause they KNOW that they're gonna score
It is obvious that we can alllll relate to this one Heidi! lol
Men really don't understand that we really do just want some time when SOMEONE isn't wanting something from us.
You are so awesome! You manage to find those topics that everyone can relate to and capitalize on them! My husband says "you owe me" all.the.time! He even claims it when we say the same thing at the same time (jinx...you owe me) I think it's just that that is all they ever think about so they want to make sure we are thinking about it too.
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