Anyway...
I couldn't decide, this week, which writing prompt to chose. I was going to do this one: 2.) Find your one very favorite picture of Summer and write a poem about it but I decided that Summer might get weirded out by that and get a restraining order and block me from reading her blog or something.
So, of course, I went with this one...duh
5.) The top ten things I'd rather be doing than having sex with David Letterman
Ladies and Gentlemen, here is my Top Ten list:
10. I would rather live in a house with the cast of The Real World or Big Brother than have sex with David Letterman...either would be a public spectacle.
9. I would rather be the Octamom's ghost writer than have sex with David Letterman...I'd need a full prescription of Xanax for either, that's for sure.
8. I would rather listen to Obama tell me about his health care plan than have sex with David Letterman....either way I'd probably get a good nap in.
7. I would rather wash the furry animal that Donald Trump wears on his head than have sex with David Letterman...*shudder* I'm rethinking this one - that thing might have rabies. The Chinchilla, not Letterman.
6. I would rather get a Brazilian wax than have sex with David Letterman...except that sex with him would hurt less but both might give me a rash. It's a toss up.
5. I would rather ask Tom Cruise for advice on life than have sex with David Letterman...I'm sure neither would be a very enlightening experience.
4. I would rather have lunch with Kate Moss than have sex with David Letterman...both would leave me with an empty, unfulfilled feeling.
3. I would rather go watch a taping of the Oprah show than have sex with David Letterman....unless he was going to give me one of his cars, first.
2. I would rather have coffee with Kate Gosselin than have sex with David Letterman...unless Dave has coffee available.
1. I would rather have a bowel movement in a window display in downtown LA than have sex with David Letterman....both are just crappy options anyway, right?
And there ya have it! My Top Ten List. Goody Gum Drops.
Feel free to play along:
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16 comments:
Oh my. Why did I just KNOW this was going to be the one you would pick as soon as I saw Mama Kat in that first paragraph?
Thanks for the laugh, but really? Tom Cruise on life lessons and the whole bm in the window? How bad could Dave really be?
haha! How long did it take you to come up with this last...it's freakin' hilarious!
Way too funny! I may have peed a little *shh, don't tell*
Funny, and I agree. But ouch, a wax, really?! I don't even want to think about a brazilian.
**Clap** **Clap** **Clap** That was funnier than ANY top 10 I have EVER heard out of Letterman himself!
What is funny is that when I read the prompt, the first thing I thought of when it said a picture of Summer was that too!!! Great minds think alike...or at least ours do!
Sooo funny!
I was totally thrown off when I saw that prompt, and then I reminded myself....
Summer, it's not always about you. Most likely this is about the season.
And then I realized that was just crazy talk. Of course it was about me. =)
you are the queen of funny - love this post. There is no way I could have thought of 10 things and that would have sucked cuz then I would have had to have the sex... He is in his early sixties too - I didn't know that until this story broke and it was mentioned in the article I read. Senior Citizen sex - ack!
I think it would be funny to change all of the "than"'s to "then"'s in your top ten. Hee hee
OMGosh!!! That was too funny-here I am in the breakroom ALONE laughing--people don't know why and they probably think I'm crazy-I was hoping it would take them a little longer to figure out... Great job on your list!! Loved it!
Ha, ha, ha!! Great list:-)
This is a great list! So many people are having fun on his behalf I "almost" feel sorry for the dude. But not when I can laugh so hard!
I just smiled like a dork through this entire post! So funny!!!
Hilarious!!!! Laughed so hard and I really needed to laugh tonight. Thanks!!!
Please, please, please let me call you the next time I'm having a crappy day!
You always make me laugh!
I would rather see another one of your video-rants than have sex with David Letterman...for one thing you are funnier, and I am NOT gay....
Oh wow haha. That's hilarious. I'm in agreement with you on most of them. I wanted to do this prompt but I'm just not nearly creative enough.
You are SO FUNNY!!! I don't know how you come up with some of these things. You have an amazing font of sarcasm and wit. I want to be just like you when I grow up!!
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