I never ever, ever, ever, EVER....

... do these things. But I'm doing it now so now I can't say that I never do them anymore, can I? No. Now I can say I RARELY (in all caps, even) do them. *cough cough*

I have to answer yes or no with no explanation. I'm an explanation kind of gal so this is difficult for me. Really really really difficult. Yo.

Tim, Stephanie and Bridget did this on their blogs and I'm a follower so now I have, too. Here are the rules:
1.) You can ONLY answer YES or NO
2.) You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone comments and asks! Have fun and hope you enjoy these little tidbits of information!!

Have You Ever...

Kissed any of your Facebook friends? YES INDEEDY!

Been arrested? MANAGED TO AVOID IT

Been in a fight? YES I HAVE!

Fallen fast for someone? I TRIPPED!

Regretted a relationship? CAN WE ALL SAY "I WAS JUST YOUNG?!?!"

Been in a tornado? NO I HID IN THE BATHTUB, DUH.

Fallen asleep at work/school? ARE WE NOT SUPPOSED TO?

Ran a red light? IN SOME COUNTRIES RED MEANS GO, RIGHT?!

Experienced love at first sight? LOVE? NO. LUST? UH..COME TO MAMA! *COUGH*timmcgraw*COUGH*

Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident? NOPE JUST THE PERSON I RAN INTO'S CAR.

Been fired from a job? FIRED OR LET GO? HA!

Fired somebody? I TELL MY KIDS THEY'RE FIRED WHEN I'M REALLY MAD.

Sang karaoke? CAN I CLAIM A 5th ON THIS ONE? AS IN, "I DRANK A 5th AND I DON'T REMEMBER DETAILS?"

Pointed a gun at someone? OH UMHMMMMMM ACTUALLY NOT at THEM.

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE, ACTUALLY.

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? ONCE I PUKED AND A WHOLE SPAGHETTI NOODLE CAME HALFWAY OUT MY NOSE AND WE HAD TO PULL THE REST OF IT OUT.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? I THINK SO BUT IT MELTED BEFORE I COULD CHECK.

Kissed in the rain? WITH OR WITHOUT TONGUE?

Swam in the ocean? YEP. WELL, IT WAS REALLY MORE LIKE SUCKING SALT WATER BUT WHATEV.

Been to a concert? A FEW. INXS, NIN, TORI AMOS, THE CURE, THIRD DAY, JEREMY CAMP...

Laughed till you cried? SURE, BUT HAVE YOU EVER CRIED TIL YOU LAUGHED?!?

Sang in the shower? I SING ON THE TOILET, DUH.

Smoked a cigar? WHY, DO YOU HAVE ONE TO SHARE?

Sat on a rooftop? SAT, STOOD, PRETENDED I WAS A BIRD. WHATEV.

Smuggled something into another country? THERE ARE OTHER COUNTRIES BESIDES THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?!?

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? NO BECAUSE I DON'T USUALLY CARRY MY WHOLE CLOSET WITH ME. BUT I'VE BEEN PUSHED IN FULLY CLOTHED BEFORE.

Broken a bone? JUST MY BUTT.

Skipped school? HMMMM....I THINK I SKIPPED MY WHOLE SENIOR YEAR, EH MA?!

Got a speeding ticket? HONEST, I DIDN'T KNOW I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE GOING 85 OFFICER.

Eaten a bug? COVER IT IN CHOCOLATE AND IT AIN'T HALF BAD.

Sleepwalked? I DUNNO, I'M ASLEEP.

Walked a moonlit beach? I DON'T HAVE A LEASH LONG ENOUGH.

Rode a motorcycle / dirt bike? ONLY WITH A MORMON GUY ABOUT TO GO ON HIS MISSION WHEN I WAS 19 YEARS OLD. WASN'T AS ORGASMIC AS I'D HOPED IT WOULD BE. HMPH.

Dumped someone? DUMPED THEM WHERE?

Seen a baby born? JUST THE ONES I BIRTHED. OH AND ON THAT MIRACLE OF LIFE NOVA SPECIAL.

Lied to avoid a ticket? THERE WAS ALWAYS SOME TRUTH TO THE STORY.

Ridden in a helicopter? MY UNCLE USED TO FLY FOR LIFEFLIGHT, SO YES.

Shaved your head? I WANTED TO ONCE BUT ROB SAID NO.

Played a prank on someone? DER.

Hit a home run? I DON'T PLAY BASEBALL, OR SOFTBALL. BUT I *AM* FAMILIAR WITH HOMEBASE. HA!

Felt like killing someone? ONCE. THE END.

Cross dressed? REMEMBER GRUNGE?

Been falling down drunk? THAT WAS A FRIDAY NIGHT BACK IN THE DAY!

Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? IF I DUMPED YOU WOULDN'T YOU CRY TOO?

Marched/Protested? I MARCH TO THE BEAT OF A DIFFERENT DRUMMER.

Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? ARE THOSE THINGS FOR REAL?

Puked on an amusement ride? PANSY.

Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? I'M BOYCOTTING IHOP RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THEY'RE A BUNCH OF LAME ASS DORKS.

Been in a band? NO BUT I'VE BEEN A GROUPIE. HA! KIDDING!! (MOSTLY)

Knitted or crocheted? I'VE HAD CHILDREN KNIT IN MY WOMB. DOES THAT COUNT?

Been on TV? WE HAVE A WEDDING VIDEO, DOES THAT COUNT?

Shot a gun? I LIVE IN MONTANA.

Skinny dipped? I'VE EVEN CHUNKY DUNKED.

Gave someone stitches? I ONLY PLAY A NURSE ON TV.

Eaten whole jalapeno pepper? WHY?

Ridden a surfboard? SADLY, NO.

Drank straight from a liquor bottle? JOSE CUERVO YOU ARE A FRIEND OF MINE.

Had surgery? BYE-BYE TONSILS.

Streaked? I'LL NEVER TELL!! *COUGHCOUGH*YES*COUGHCOUGH*

Taken by ambulance to hospital? OY.

Tripped on mushrooms? SADLY NO. OH, I MEAN..UH...WELL..I STOPPED DOING RECREATIONAL (ONLY MEDICINAL NOW, YO) DRUGS BEFORE I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO PARTAKE.

Passed out when not drinking? UM, NO.

Peed outside? I LIVE IN MONTANA.

Donated blood? ABSOLUTELY. EVERYONE SHOULD. DID YOU KNOW THAT YOUR ONE DONATION CAN SAVE UP TO THREE LIVES?!

Grabbed electric fence? GRABBED IT WHY? FOR WHAT REASON? MORONS.

Eaten alligator meat? NOPE, JUST RATTLESNAKE.

Eaten cheesecake? WHY? DO YOU HAVE SOME?!

Eaten a kids' Halloween candy? HOW HORRIBLE! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING? *BATSEYES*

Killed an animal when not hunting? UM, DAMNED PRARIE DOGS AND TARGET SHOOTING. OTHERWISE KNOWN AS: I LIVED IN WYOMING.

Peed your pants in public? I'VE HAD FOUR KIDS. AMEN.

Snuck into a movie without paying? IT DOSN'T COUNT IF THE MOVIE YOU PAID FOR SUCKS.

Written graffiti? ACTUALLY, I LACK THE TALENT REQUIRED.

Still love someone you shouldn't? YES.

Think about the future? SURE WHY NOT.

Been in handcuffs? HA! THERE'S TWO PAIR ON MY DESK RIGHT NOW!

Believe in love? STILL DO.

Sleep on a certain side of the bed? AND HAVE THE BED-INDENTIONS TO PROVE IT.

Shoot. I didn't follow instructions again. And I tried so hard! * le sigh*