The case before you is a gnarly one. It isn't pretty and can't be fancied up just so your stomach doesn't turn. It is what it is... ugly.
It began in April of this year and has continued on well into the month of June. It is disgusting and repulsive. It is uncalled for.
The defendant, heidi, as she sits before you now has willfully and with wanton abandon been quickly eating her way through an entire clothing size. After the severe deprivation endured for the sake of her youngest child, she began to gorge herself on all of the forbidden tasties that she had so lovingly missed. Longed for. Yearned for. Needed. Wanted. Desired. *drool*
Oh,uhh...right...Ladies and gentlemen of the jury - this woman MUST. BE. STOPPED. To quote Susan Powter "Stop the Insanity!"
How long do we let her go on? Until she's eaten her way back up 4 more sizes? Until she outgrows all of her clothes and needs to buy more, in larger sizes?? Until she throws herself into a hormonal and emotional tailspin the sights of which have not been seen in this area for over a year?
No, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to stop this woman. To stop her tyraid. To stop the Oreo Reign of madness. Please, before she can no longer fit into her computer chair.
*sigh*
Farewell sweet, delicious cookies. Au revoir to my lovely, salty and silky cheese. Adios to Cerveza. Ciao to the wonderfully delicious pasta. Auf Wiedersehen to fast food. Sayonara to cream based anything. A big fat see ya later to all things bread. A sad, tearful, gut wrenching Adieu to iced lattes and iced chai teas.
It was a fun affair while it lasted but you are toxic to me. You are making me sick. We can't be friends. If you see me walking by, and there's a tear drop in my eye? Look away..baby...look away.
I'm off to
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23 comments:
Oooo... I feel you girl! I am definitely a stress eater & a celebration eater. Oh who am I kidding, I love the great taste of good (& fattening) food. However, you may want to think twice about that cervesa. :-)
Oh boy...the motivation has begun! I hear you on the over indulging side of things...OK,,,I will be at the gym tomorrow!!!
Keep going you can do it (inner Richard Simmons coming out)!
Oh the stress eating...oh the love of Oreos (a bag of double stuffs don't stand a chance in my home...and I'm the only one who eats them)....and lets not get started on my love of all things bacon!!!
Best of luck to you...I'm doing my best (HA) to slim down this summer too (ugh) now if I could just get my toukas to the gym (snort) or even for a nice walk (BA HA HA HA HA HA....)
Chicago.
I'm with ya, stress eating sucks!!! Good luck with getting rid of the snacks.
More 2 luv.
I understand, trust me, I understand.
(((hugs))) Been there momma!
Channel your inner water-boy...You Can Do It!
What a horrible sentence:-(
I'm on your side, but it doesn't always work for me. You know what I hate?? My husband wants me to buy all that crap for him. He never gains an ounce. So with it in the house, and him traveling so much, I see it can't go to waste, so I eat it and guess what? It goes to waist. MY waist!
and why buy regular Oreos when double stuffed is the same price.
reaching out from the wagon..hurry up before you pull me in!!!
I feel ya! I lost 55 pounds after my heart surgery because my doctor said to do it, and I didn't want him mad at me. It was wonderful but that was two years ago and I gained thirty (30!!!) of it back! I lost 18 of it when I was so sick a few months ago and haven't put any back on OR lost any more. Now I've got to concentrate on losing the last 12 of that 30!! I am often jealous of my skinny husband who wouldn't be able to gain a pound even if God commanded it.
You have my sympathy and support!
Due to health issues, I've had to recently make a major lifestyle change regarding eating, exercising, getting enough sleep, etc.
I'm doing pretty well...except for the getting enough sleep part. I'm still working on that one!
Don't buy the stuff that isn't good for you. I bought it for years, believing that I was depriving my kids by not having it. What I finally realized was that I wasn't doing them any favors by giving it to them!
Good luck, girlfriend...you can do it!
Here's some bloggy support! It's a good thing to take care of our bodies if we want our bodies to take care of us. I need to be better, too. Here's to you! Good Luck! :)
I'm cheering you on from the sidelines!! You can do it Heidi!! Good Luck!
if you see me walkin' by, and the tears are in my eyes, look away, bab---
oh, comment, right...
screw that!!!
uh, what i meant to say was, i support you and will be thinking about you, and know that YOU CAN DO IT. but, i can't, so will you do it for me, too???
I too am a stress eater! And a boredom eater, a depressed eater, a celebration eater, etc...
Good luck getting back on the wagon...I could say goodbye to most of that stuff but never to the Oreos!
My happy pregnant butt was in the gym this morning so if I can do it so can you!! It is easier when you can't eat something, but don't let all of your hard work go to waste. You know it felt great to be in that 8!
i'm with ya sister!! You can do it.
Maybe you don't have to say good bye to all of it. Maybe just the worst offenders...fast food, cookies and the like. An occasional trip down the lane to the iced lattes or cheese wouldn't kill you.
Good Luck!
I had no idea you were so multi-lingual. Don't give up on all those other cultures... just visit less frequently.
And if you threw out Oreos I'm gonna have to go out there to MT and smack ya!
I am so in this with you. We should be accountability partners. As in, I'll count your cookies while you count mine.
I'm fighting 5#s that just popped back on a week after they came off and they've been stuck there for 2 months now. And then there's the other 15 right behind that first 5.
I've had to resort to writing down what I eat and how many calories I'm consuming each day.
I've lost 1 pound so far.
Good times.
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