I can hold a sleeping child and pee at the same time. Doing the one handed pull down, wipe and pull up - all without waking the baby.
I can hold my bladder for about 3 hours before having to do that dance.
I can silence a whole room of people with one look.
I can clean my whole house in two hours while taking care of a 2 year old and an 11 month old.
I can work 40 hours a week, from home, while also cleaning my house and taking care of a 2 year old and an 11 month old as well as their 7 and 10 year old siblings.
I can make a mean menu.
I can make you laugh.
I can find the positive in almost every situation.
I can recall the lyrics to almost any song I've heard before.
I can do an awesome blowfish.
I can burp the loudest and longest of anyone in my family - immediate and extended.
I can work, answer questions on IM from my boss, make dinner, do laundry and argue with Rob all while keeping an eye on the kids.
I can forget what you just told me pretty easily.
I can make my kids smile.
I can make my husband swoon.
I can make awesome chocolate chip cookies and amazing brownies.
I can learn pretty much anything, if given the chance.
I can stroke your ego pretty well, even though I will choose not to 90% of the time.
I can stay up for days on end with sick kids, and still work, clean the house, make the meals and do all the other related stuff without crumbling to pieces.
I can rememer the words to my solo song in the 3rd grade Christmas play. "You've got the blahs...oh Mrs. Claus...but don't be Blue....cause we all love you..." etc.
I can generally out-guess all of the contestants on Wheel of Fortune.
I can make you feel 2 inches tall.
I can find the humor in almost everything.
I can still do a cartwheel. HA!
I can change a diaper blowout in minutes without getting any on myself or throwing up.
But I can't, to save my life, figure out how in the H-E-double hockey sticks to use Saran Wrap.
Um, P.S. - apparently using Saran Wrap is some sort of sick sexual perversion so you should NOT google it or search it out on youtube, lest you want to see what I'm referring to. I have to go burn my eyeballs now and order a new pair from Walmart Optical.
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27 comments:
oh my gosh we did that play too
we got to wear poodle skirts and everything~
i buy the sticky kind now of wrap now, it works great!
LOL - Saran Wrap is no good. It only sticks for me it I use a TON of it so it clings to itself. Good list....are you working on your resume? :)
I'm so impressed that you can keep your house clean with the little ones. Mine are almost 2 and 3 and I cannot seem to stay caught up. :)
Ha - good list! Saran Wrap is the weirdest stuff!
XOXO
Jen
I'm with ya Heidi! I hate that stuff!
OK I am so impressed even if you can work saran wrap!
i can safely say...that you and i would get along swimmingly!!! darn those, what...8 states between us!!!
I know...I can multitask the snot out of anyone, but I can't get saran wrap to work for me either. I can't even tear it off correctly. good grief. Good to know I am not alone.
Ha!! I heard that there's a trick to the saran wrap tear. And... it's passed down from generation to generation. Apparently my mother forgot to teach me. :D
You must tell me your secrets regarding how you?????
"I can work 40 hours a week, from home, while also cleaning my house and taking care of a 2 year old and an 11 month old as well as their 7 and 10 year old siblings"
I am a WAHM also and am overwelmed from the time I wake up until I go asleep? Share your secrets!! PLEASE!!
Hey I have a question for ya: sometimes when I leave comments you and some others email me back and answer to my comment. How? I would like to answer some questions that people commented to me but I don't want to go to their site or post about it. I just want to email them. Help!
Wow, you can really do a lot. You should be able to figure out saran wrap!
I can tee-tee while nursing a baby. I cannot nor to I ever want to learn how to burp.
Awesome! I need some lessons from you!
I too have no use for Saran Wrap!
LOL, I can't use saran wrap either and I could probably out-burp you!
Oh me, oh my! (I think I have a little girl crush on you . . .)
I belched "i love you" to my hubby. :) Saran Wrap sucks, I like Wal*Mart generic better. It sticks fairly nicely, but not crazy as you take it off the roll onto anything and everything.
That is HILARIOUS. Love the silence the room with just one look part. It's really weird what you find when you Google the most innocent of terms.
I hope to see your VlogEmotions this week as I always enjoy them.
ok I am very impressed that you can do all of that without crumbling to pieces!
And yes, Saran Wrap is worthless stuff!
Uh oh! YIKES!
i try to avoid saran wrap at all costs. there is a reason they also call it 'cling wrap'. and please teach me your cleaning secrets. i so do not know how to manage a clean house.
I have attempted to pee while holding a child...not sleeping...and it was SUPER difficult to do. And I so need help keeping my house clean! I have heard that if you put the saran wrap in the fridge it makes it easier to use...and not stick to itself as bad! It seemed kind of silly so I never tried it, but it could work!
That is hilarious! You are one talented kick butt mom that's for sure.
I hate saran wrap. And the sad thing is: we accidentally bought a whole freakin commercial roll at Sam's Club about 2 years ago. We're still using it. In fact, my handy dandy hubby built a holder for it under the cabinet. I've learned to grit my teeth and use it. If it wrinkles, hey that's just an excuse to rip off another strip. The quicker I use it up, the sooner I'll be rid of it!
Anything that sticks to itself is practically useless! Oh, and can you teach me that look? I need to get a good one because my child is driving me crazy and thinks it's funny when I'm mad. Ugh!
LOL!!! Love the list!!! I can remember the song to my solo in 3rd grade too (red and yellow and pink and green, purple and orange and blue...you can sing rainbow, sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow too!) Now, aren't you glad I just "sang" that for you!!
Very funny post. I only use saran cling plus wrap. i can't figure out any of the other kinds.
Don't you know that there's some sort of atmospheric static that builds during times of frustration and causes the saran wrap to stick to itself and everything EXCEPT what you want it to?
Oh, and anyone who wraps that many sandwiches and still has that plastic grin has been sniffing the saran roll too long!
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