Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult, huh? I mean...c'mon! She and I are a lot alike. She's even told Sienna it seems like we share a brain and are often thinking the same thing. So..why shouldn't we be friends, right? When we run into each other we chat and talk about our lives, etc.
How do you go about making that happen?? I guess I effectively asked her out on a friend-date. Coffee, dinner, whatever. I even gave her an out..."If you aren't comfortable because my daughter is in your class, I'm totally cool with that." Whatever. I'm not. My feelings will be hurt if she says no and if she says yes, I'll be nervous.
Totally like dating.
I hate trying to make friends as an adult.
Isn't this whole thing ridiculous!?!?!?! The answer, in case you were at a loss, is yes. It's ridiculous. I am an adult woman with 4 children, a full time job and a husband. Why am I so worried about what this woman is going to say to me? Huh? Right.
Sorry. I think I may need to go lose my dinner now. I am so desperate for another IRL friend. I have ONE right now, and she's great. Just..I dunno. Sometimes I want more, yk? Is that bad? Sad? What? I dunno. My SIL is moving and she's always been my close friend, too.
I reitterate...why is it so hard to find friends as adult women? Huh? Why? I don't feel competitive. I don't care if you're prettier than me or make more money or drive a nicer car. I just want to laugh and have a good time. I want to share experiences and be silly and stupid and have someone to call and say "Dude. Today sucked. Wanna go have Margaritas?" Does that make me sound like a desperate fool?
Then I guess I am. A desperate fool, that is. Because that's what I want.
Someone to laugh with. Someone to cry with. Rememeber BFFs from HS and stuff? I want something like that. My husband is there..yeah, sure. He's my BFF, I know. But I want a girl. I want a woman. I want a mom and wife that get's it. Yk?
Anyway. I hope she doesn't tell me to jump off a cliff or something. I am not used to putting myself out like this but I had to take a chance.
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Makes sense to me.
Actually, by starting a friendship (trying anyway) at the end of the year, you avoid the possibility of "teacher's pet" with Sienna.
Hope that it goes over well for you!
No, I totally get it. It's different. I have made TONS of friends over the last few months. And I could totally chat it up with you on here. But if we went to meet for coffee or something......I'd be a nervous wreck!! I do agree, it's the same emotions as a first date--butterflies, uncertainty, self consciousness.
I don't have a ton of IRL close friends. At least not ones that I talk to every day or could say, "Today sucked, let's go get margaritas". I do have one or two. My BFF is my cousin, both sets of our kids are BFF's, and our husbands are BFF, so it totally works.
Let us know what she says!
Totally. IRL girlfriends are SOOOOOOOOO important! I hope your date goes well...you're definitely going to be blogging about it right!?
I get it. I feel that way every time we have to move. Unfortunately most of my friends are not close enough for a night out. I have to settle with a phone call. That's the military way...
Well if I lived closer I'd be your IRL friend! It is super hard for me to make friends. I know how you feel about "asking her out". ;o) I have one real friend where I live now. I have 3 other close girlfriends, but they all live far away from me, so I can call them (time zone allowing) but it's not the same. I hope it works out for you!
I hope that your attempt goes well!
I get what you are saying too; it's not easy!
You rock, Heidi! Of course she wants to be your friend! She probably just hasn't gotten up the nerve to ask you out first. :-)
I think we don't make friends as easily as we did before because we aren't surrounded by people anymore. We are busy raising families and working and trying to keep the bills paid. Another thing though, I think we are much less tolerant as to the kind of company we keep.
And as a side note, teachers are ca-razy! I've hung out with a bunch of teachers and they can par-tay! LOL
It's hard to be IRL friends because our lives are going in sixty different directions at once. And IRL friends aren't as high a priority anymore since we have online friends who can sort of pick up the slack except for the small fact that we're all axe murderers. Heh.
I digress. And am marveling at the thought of there being yet another person who shares my brain! I hope you have coffee and friendship soon!
I could be kind...I could talk psychoanalyze this, but I am WAY too dumb and unedumicated for that...so, what the problem? So just ask. You know, Heidi, just talk to her. You know what I do? I drive down the road (in Germany, where people are "reserved"), and wave to people I dont even know. When I walk down the street I say hello to people. When we live in Garmisch, there was this old lady, probably 80 or 90 years old, she walked with her bike up the mountains, all alone; she was all hunched over and had lots of bags with her; So my wife talked to her (she speaks excellent german); when she got done, she thanked her because it was the first time in years she had had a normal conversation with another human being. It made us both cry. We both want to die first now. You really do not seem like the kind of person I would need to say this to, but JUST TALK!!! When you are dead, you wont say a word.
Totally know the feeling, I'm shy until I know someone so it's not "me" to go up to someone and start talking to them. I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone, but it's easier said than done. Here's to making new IRL friends!! GO FOR IT!! :D
love this post. i have tons of old friends who live states away that i keep up w/on facebook but IRL? not to much :(
i was sooo excited to start a couple nursing classes...just for the opportunity to make a new girlfriend! what did i do when i got in the classes? clammed up. got all guarded. stupid me. took me about 2 months of weekly classes to connect and i actually have a really cool girl's phone # (for the record, she called me first!). now the classes are over and i could kick myself for the wasted opportunities! i'm glad i made all those friends back in my mid-20's cause they are gonna have to last me awhile (in my mid 30's now). old friends never expire but sometimes they just aren't as sweet as fresh ones, yk?
I hear ya girl and everyone else along this thread. I agree with so many points - I'm definitely NOT as tolerant of the ppl I hang out with. Um. If I was to hang out with anyone. lol I have one girlfriend - best friend in the world - now 10 hours away by car. Makes me sad. And we're so busy nowadays ya know? Where do I find a girlfriend when I stay at home and work online? They should have those e-harmony sites for BFF! I'd be IN. :)
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