Letters from the Edge

Dear New Pharmacy Guy at Walmart:

At first I wasn't sure, but then it became obvious that you were flirting with me. And while I am flattered and a little weirded out by the way you tried to have sex with me with your eyes, I have to decline your unspoken request to ravish my body. I'm happily married and fertile - this ride is reserved.

Yours Truly,

heidi

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Dear Space Invaders at Walmart:

Please back off. I know I smell good but honestly, it's kind of creepy how you just decided to all 4 stand in my personal space while I was trying to purchse my groceries. Also, if I haven't paid yet and am putting groceries in the cart please do not take the opportunity to stand in the place where one would pay the cashier. Because I will just go ahead and assume that you are graciously picking up the tab for me in an Act of Kindness kind of thing and begin to gush over you loudly and embarassingly (I can cry on command..don't test me) so that you will feel extremely stupid if you DON'T pay for my purchases.

For further reference, please see this short clip:



Back off. Get your own sandwich. Don't make me go all Jedi Mind Trick on you.

With Malice,

heidi