But there's a NEW Generation of wine makers out there. Oh yeah. And they know how to market to the people that drink the most. You know who you are. It always comes back to being about sex, doesn't it? Food? Sex. Exercise? Sex. Laundry? Sex. Cleaning the toilet? Well..I guess maybe for someone they can equal that to sex (please please PLEASE don't explain it to me). Alcohol obviously equals sex. In fact, I'd venture a guess that over half the sexual encounters that happen today either begin or end with alcohol (yk, the placement depends on the KIND of sex).
Wine typically equals romance, doesn't it? Well, and what could be more romantic than hopping from bed to bed in a slutty sex fest of sloppy seconds (an aliteration!)?
Not really into the "Over 1 Billion Served" kind of sex? Ok...we'll just keep it down to a couple-three people, then. Sex might be best when it's one on one (thanks George Michael) but maybe it's like poker - just more fun when you add a third.
Hold up...back the truck up. We live in the year 2009! NINE! TWO THOUSAND AND NINE! Abstinance is making a fashionable come back. Promise rings are all the rage. Saving yourself for marriage is the IN thing to do. (PSA: Uh, it's the smart thing to do, too. Have you SEEN the diseases out there? YIKES!) KNowing this, one wine maker went in another direction entirely. They want you to know that they support your promise ring wearing abstinance until marriage lifestyle and would like to celebrate it with you..yk..once you get married.
Me? I'll just stick with the tried and true poor person's wine.
Oh yeah, and when I'm feeling particularly classless and randy (ha haha ... randy) I pick up one of these puppies...
Oh yeah babe. Giddy up.
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16 comments:
Bwa ha ha ha....they may as well just call it "We'll do anything to get you to drink this"
(although I really like the first label)
Hey there is some really good "boxed wine" out there! But, white zin! GIRL! My grandma used to drink white zin with ICE! I LOVE the pics. CUTE. I think I saw the first one at target when we were in California a few weeks ago. I have had the menage a trois red, it's good.
i finally did your sisterhood tag, so i mentioned you on my blog. love the wine post! i'm even classier boxed wine drinkers b/c i do wine coolers!
I have never seen those kinds. Hilarious. I did see one called Eruption. Someone brought it to a "brown bag" party... seemed appropriate.
This is too funny!
I have had the Menage A Trosi in red and actually it's pretty good. I'm a wine snob so I only bought it for a party, it's fairly cheap, and it surprised me. I do remember the days of boxed White Zin...those were the days!
BTW-I finally caved and got my tattoo!
Ha, today at the grocery store, in the bakery section, there was a huge wine display topped with a giant plastic cupcake. Yep, cupcake vineyards. There are going to try to get us to give in any way they can!
that's hilarious!!
and i tell myself that it doesn't matter how it's packaged...boxed wine is still wine...wine drinkers are a sophisticated lot...so, if a=b and b=c...then a=c...right.
I'M SOPHISTICATED, DAMMIT!!!
That is really funny! I haven't seen alot of those labels. Of course the last time I bought wine was about seven months ago and I am pretty sure it is responsible for the extra 30 lbs I got goin' on right now!
We are not wine drinkers so unless you are talking about wine coolers I have no clue. But I do think the names are very cute. I think we are more of a Boones Farm type family any how. (We do not have Boones Farm Blue Hawaiian in our fridge right now)
Thanks for the laughs. I love all the pictures, they added some sunshine to my day!
OMG, thanks for the laugh. I am cracking up,my kids are looking at me like what the heck is wrong with her?
Yeah...I have noticed that and um, lets just say that I find it difficult to purchase anything that has a label that makes me blush!!!!
I love all the Heidi posters! I have never seen so many Heidi's in one place! I love the proverbial question us Heidi's get. "Do you have the book Heidi?". Um...yeah. Thanks. I actually HAD like 20 versions of it, including the movie. Thanks. LOL!
I am jealous of the poster who mentioned the tattoo. Matt keeps saying he doesn't want me to get one. I am more worried that I would get an infection, and the transplant doctor would FREAK! We'll see. I need a good artist to design one...shamrock, transplant date, wedding date, hearts...hmmm?
I guess I haven't payed that much attention to the bottles. Will have to look closer when I go to the store next time.
I am "wine stupid" I had NO idea of those wines you mentioned!! (Well, the boxed wine yes, and Sutter Home is at 7-11, but the others?) hahaahahaa Good post!
craaaaaaaap
now I want wine.
wait
when DONT I want wine...
huh.
carry on then.
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