Look At Me When I'm Talking To You

(first written on 10/18/04)

The role of disciplinarian falls to me 80% of the time, as a stay-at-home mom. It isn’t a role I cherish, necessarily, but a role that must be played out if I expect any peace in my house. How is it that two beautiful little girls can be playing so raptly and joyously one minute, and intent on shedding the other’s blood only minutes later? It baffles me, truly.

The horror of it all is that I end up finding myself saying things I said I would never say. Things my mother said to me that I swore that I would never cast upon my own children. There are the tried and true phrases like, “Someone’s going to get hurt if you keep that up.” “I didn’t ask you if you wanted to do it.” And when I say no and either a) don’t want to explain my reasoning or b) really have no good reason, I am appalled to find myself saying, “Because I said no!” which is really just a variation on the time honored classic, “Because I said so.”

Another one of these gems has found its way out of my mouth recently. In a conversation with my oldest daughter (I say conversation, she says lecture..) I found myself infuriated that the child was looking everywhere but at me I was trying to talk to her. Out slithered the snake that used to bite me as a child, “Look at me when I’m talking to you.” That one packs some venom, doesn’t it? Ouch.

It’s not that I am offended that I am turning into my mother, I’ve resigned myself to that fact and accept it. The problem is that these oft used phrases used to irritate me as a child and were very rarely up for discussion. I was the queen of “discussing” and still hold the title in certain arenas. Of course, it wasn’t seen as discussing but more “smarting off”. But I digress.

As I was making dinner the other day, I found myself saying prayers here and there; conversing with God and laying some pretty heavy matters at His feet. I was pleading with Him for some answers and wondering if He was sending me answers I just wasn’t seeing or hearing. Now, I know as well as anyone else that you can talk to God any where and any time. You don’t have to be on your knees with your eyes closed. However, I was shocked to hear, loud and clear, “Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

There was no venom in this statement (unlike, ashamedly, my own same statement) but a gentle prodding. A whisper. It could have been a yell for as loud as I heard it – I actually looked around the kitchen to see who was talking to me.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you.” A simple statement, to be sure, yet it caused much thinking on my part. Is the reason I’m not hearing His answers because I’m not looking to Him for them? Am I missing vital information because I am looking everywhere except at the One who is giving it to me? Indeed.

In looking for answers to my prayers I tend to look at where I want the answers to be. I focus on what I want fixed, those that I want to receive help, and the general area that I want to end up in. I barely glance at the One I am asking for help from. Instead of staring intently into His eyes and giving him the respect of waiting for His patient reply I am already on to the next task on my “to-do” list. I rarely take the time to look at Him when He is talking to me. Because of this I am missing out on so much.

Jeremiah 33:3 says, “Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” If I am not looking at Him, how can I see what He is showing me? How can I understand what He is telling me?

That is precisely the reason I tell my children to look at me when I am talking to them. I want them to get the full impact of the words I am saying to them. I want to see their faces and make sure they understand the message I am trying to convey. I want them to show me respect, as their mother. And I want to know that they are listening to me.

It’s no different with God. He wants me to look at Him when He is talking to me so that I can get the full impact of what He is telling me. The message He is conveying is important and I must treat it as such. I must respond to my Almighty Father with the respect He so richly deserves. He wants to know that I am listening to Him.

How precious also are your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! Psalm 139:17