Wannabe & Martha, Martha, Martha

I used to write.

I wanted to be an author.

I had some pieces published in magazines.

I started my novel. Twice.

Something horrible happened to our family and I haven't written since.

You know when you comment on a Blogger blog it says "Choose your identity."?? It mocks me.

Am I a writer or not? Can I get over this wall that has been up for 4 years or gave I run out of ideas and talent?

I don't know. I really wish I did. I used to think I had something. Beyond the ideas I had, i was able to just sit down and write. Now? My blinking cursor mocks me. I read my old 'book' start and I was sucked in tonight but I couldn't take it to the next level.

So, I think I'll just post a couple of my old pieces here and there and see if I feel inspired.

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Martha, Martha, Martha

I’ve always identified with Mary Magdalene. Her past life of shame and sin; the demons that held her captive; the way Jesus came to her rescue and saved her from herself. Mary felt such gratitude at her Lord’s feet and would do anything to show Jesus the love she felt. Again, I could identify with that.

Recently, however, I have started to understand Martha so much more. Martha, who has small parts in the Bible but is just as important to Jesus as Mary was; Martha, who had an awakening of her own.

Do you remember Martha? She was always so busy taking care of everyone else that she hardly had time to take care of her own needs. When her brother Lazarus died, she didn’t take time to mourn but instead sprung to action getting things prepared. There was no time to rest in her grief – there were funeral preparations to make, a body to anoint and mourners to hire. When people came over to Martha’s house she was the picture of hospitality, making sure that everyone had something to eat and was comfortable, never stopping to sit down herself and enjoy their company.

Towards the end of Jesus’ journey on earth he came to Bethany. He was going to dine with Simon, the leper he cured. Mary and Martha were making preparations for His visit and had been busy all day. When Jesus arrived, Mary stopped all work and simply sat at Jesus’ feet listening to the wisdom He had for her. Martha, on the other hand, stayed busy. Rushing to and fro, getting dinner prepared, setting out dishes and cleaning the house. As the day wore on, Martha became increasingly irritated that she was the one doing all the work. How could Mary just sit there when there was so much work to be done? How could she just let Martha shoulder the whole burden? The faster Martha rushed and the more she did, the angrier she became. She would glare at Mary each time she passed her – trying to send messages that just didn’t get through. Finally, Martha could stand no more and approached Jesus’ and Mary.

“Lord, Do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore please tell her to help me.” (Luke 10:40)

She expected Jesus to chastise Mary and tell her to get off her lazy butt and help her sister. She expected Jesus to be apologetic for keeping Mary occupied and tell her that Mary will help her now. But what she didn’t expect was to be told how wrong she was.

“Martha, Martha. You are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed and Mary has chosen the good part, which will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:42, 42)

Martha was so busy trying to be busy that she hadn’t taken time to sit down at Jesus feet and simply “Be still”. She was trying to impress her Lord with the works that she was doing, instead of taking advantage of the short time He had left to be closer to Him.

See what I mean?? How many times have I done that very thing? Instead of sitting down and being still, I am rushing from one project to another trying to get everything done in the limited amount of time I have. Casting glances at people who can’t be bothered to help me. Glaring at those who are not leaping to their feet to assist me. Trying to hide my insecurities and lack of relationship with my Heavenly Father behind the hustle and bustle of things that need to get done.

Where does that get me? Frustrated, angry and farther away from Christ than I was when I started out in the first place.

Slowing down and taking time to “Be still” when there is so much that still needs to be done goes completely against my nature. When I do sit still for a few minutes, I’m itching to get up – my mind racing with a list of all the things that still need to be accomplished. How much more blessing would I get out of doing things for the Lord if I would actual invite Him to come along with me? Instead of shouldering the entire burden myself, if I asked Him to help me carry out the plans according to His will – if I took some time to “Be Still” and sit at Jesus feet – then I imagine things would look entirely different.

Mary knew that Jesus was going to be taken from them very soon. She wanted to drink in his love every moment she could before he left His earthly home. While Jesus isn’t leaving anytime soon, he is going to be returning sometime in the near future. Shouldn’t I be preparing for His visit? And how shall I prepare? By making sure you can eat off my floors? By making sure that everyone I know has wonderful things to say about the selfless acts I do? Or shall I be prepared by growing a relationship with Him so that when He gets here He can look at me, open His arms wide and proclaim me His daughter who shall live with Him in Heaven?

I think I like that idea much, much better.

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I wrote that 10/30/2003. WOW that was a long time ago! Still rings true though. Hope you liked it. Be gentle...LOL