I've seen it discussed a lot, recently, around the blogosphere that couples argue more on the way to church than any other day of the week. I'd like to address this issue by illustrating for you how it GENERALLY goes when a family gets ready for church.
(Disclaimer: This is a sweeping generalization. It may not apply to you. But it actually might, too, so don't think it doesn't. But don't think I'm talking to you, either, because maybe I'm not. Generalizations being what they are...this is very 'in general'. Thanks.)
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*ahem*
Day breaks.
Wait, no it doesn't. It's still dark out when I get up to get ready for church. Why is that? Oh yeah, because I have to get up BEFORE everyone else if I want to get a shower in and get my hair and make up done so I can look less like the undead and more like a virtuous woman when I go to church.
Of course, I only get halfway through my shower before someone wakes up and wants something from me. So then I'm frantically trying to help them while hurrying into the bathroom because if I don't get my hair blow dried and fixed before it air dires *too* much, it will never lay right. And that will make me cranky (er) .
Get my hair and make up started.
Get breakfast for more kids.
Feed the baby.
Work on hair and make up more. Which, by-the-by? Only takes me 15 min TOTAL when I can just get it all done at once.
Get nearly done and finally get a cup of coffee.
Start laying out clothes for kids who like to argue with me about what they want to wear. Tell them they're old enough to pick their own clothes ANYWAY just pick something that I won't let them wear to school that is appropriate. (See, this is so I know that the clothes they pick are clean and presentable for church. I, uh, let them wear pretty much whatever to school even if they look stupid. Yeah. It's their own social suicide, not mine.)
Get Corban dressed.
Eat my own breakfast while feeding the baby again.
Tell Rob (who is oblivious to the sounds of struggle downstairs as I am left to wrestle with all four kids and get myself ready for church, alone.) to get his butt out of bed.
Get B dressed.
Clean up and re-dress Corban because he's pooped his pants and dropped a ginormous turd on the floor down through his pant leg. *gag*
Make Cara put on tights because it's winter and she's not wearing those stupid flip flops.
Go into the bedroom and huff around, obviously annoyed, trying to find something to wear while Rob says "What's wrong?".
Lie and say 'Nothing.'
Try on an outfit.
Go downstairs and tell the girls to stop being mean to each other and no I don't want to hear it anymore.
Go back upstairs and tell Rob if he doesn't get up and get dressed NOW we're going to be late for church.
Try on several more outfits, which I hate, and end up in a pair of jeans and a shirt, as usual.
Take Corban to the bathroom.
Tell the girls to pack their church bags (because this is just news to them EVERY week. *smh*)
Pack the diaper bag.
Suck down my cold cup of coffee before brushing my teeth.
Look at Rob like he has two heads when he comes down and asks me if he has time to iron a shirt.
Feed B. (Damn..how much does this kid need to EAT?!)
Put on more deoderant and a spritz of perfume because running around like this is making me sweaty.
Help Cara with her cowlick.
Start the van.
Get everyone in their coats, boots, whatever.
Yell "FIVE MINUTES!"
Go upstairs and find Rob still in his underwear without his hair done yet.
Come down stairs and try not to scream.
Start loading kids in the van.
Yell "We're LEAVING - Let's GO!" and get into the van.
Drive to church in seething silence until Rob says, "Are you ok? Did something happen?"
Try to keep my head from spinning around and flying OFF of my body.
Arrive to church 10 minutes late for SS even though I've been up since before the crack of dawn.
Smile sweetly and nod as the greeter says "Happy Sabbath!"
And then? After I spend 40 minutes in preschool SS with the boys (very mentally stimulating) I try to stay awake in the Mother's room during the church service while I finally get to just sit in a comfy chair and nurse Brennan.
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That is a typical Sabbath morning when we all go to church. I suspect it's much the same in houses around the world! Thus, why so many people argue on the way to church.
Oh, yeah, and probably we all argue because Satan is trying harder but, yk, duh.
Feel free to use my sweeping generalization to inform your own mate as to the reason. I'm ok with it. I just want to help people, dontcha know?
You're welcome.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
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25 comments:
Um, Yes, you have pretty much nailed that one.
Are you a video voyeur? Seriously, are you stalking me? Because although you changed the names of the children and husband, that is pretty much exactly my life every Sunday morning!
Why is it that husbands, no matter how helpful they are at other times, cannot help the children get ready to go...especially to church?!? This is very similar to how it used to be in our house when the kids were little but it was when we got ready to go anywhere...not just church. Luckily, the older two are pretty self reliant, although this does not preclude them coming down for church in clothes with holes in them or completely inappropriate. You would think this was the first time I told them how I want them dressing for church.
Why does Montana have to be sooooo far away. The closest we ever get over that way is Wisconsin.
We would have a riot hangin' together. Our kids would think we needed to be committed!
WOW... that is so not how it goes for us. I get up about twenty minutes before services start, throw on some clothes, come downstairs, Heidi and the girls are mostly dressed and ready to go already. We walk out the door about ten minutes til and get there right on time and there is absolutely no fighting on the way. It is a very pleasant morning all around. Though I guess we really don't talk at all on the way to church now that I think about it. Hmmm I wonder if I missing anything? Maybe this week I will get up an extra five minutes early just to see.
yup!!! I heard that some families prepare for Sunday on Saturday night. They get their book bags ready and lay out their Sunday clothes the night before. Haven't tried it yet. Probably b/c that would be the easy way and then what would I do without my Sunday drama?!! Have a good day.
Your point is well made! That's for sure!
i agree. it's always difficult on sunday. and i like that you pointed out the only reason it is that way. SATAN. and what is it with kiddos wanting to wear flip flops in winter? my almost four year old is wanting to wear tank tops!?! what?!?
The only thing that keeps Rob alive on the Sabbath is that he asks if HE has time to iron a shirt and doesn't ask if you have time to iron him a shirt.
I'm very very certain you are NOT alone! I'd bet money on it if I were a gambler. ;o )
LORI
Yep, that's us too, with an addition - the teenager who we wake up plenty early, who takes a THIRTY MINUTE shower while we bang on the door to hurry up already because we're waiting in the car, who then SLOWLY shuffles his feet to the car that everyone else has been waiting in, who then complains the whole way to church (in a accusing tone) that he didn't HAVE TIME to eat breakfast.
Very well written. I miss my old mega church, with Saturday evening services. We used to get ready (showers and then blue jeans) at 4:00, then head over and blend into the crowd. Those were the days....
Poor you :( I would be fighting all the way to church too!!
Boy I can relate. Sort of. I am the late riser in our house tho, but I have given up on the hair and makeup and outfit thing. I just grab a nice blouse and hope my black jeans are clean and go. Most weeks we think ahead (sometimes it is so hard to think!) and lay out kids' clothes, bags out Sat pm. And I am blessed with a hubby who helps with the kids. I'm the one who makes us late for church usually. :(
Yep, that's our Sunday morning!!! It's so nice to know that I'm not the only one who can't get her husband out of the bed and get her child to step away from the video game controls and get himself ready...My hat is off to you for doing this with four, OMGosh!
hahahahaha! Seriously I laughed for like 5 minutes before I had calmed down enough to type. You pretty much just described my Sunday morning too...complete with the clueless husband!!
see...that's why i don't go to church. it's better for my sanity if i don't!!
Yep...sounds like a typical Sunday morning. When I signed on to be a mom, I forgot that I would then have to get 3 people plus myself ready every morning. LOL
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh sistah....
AMEN and AMEN! We get up hours before we need to in order to have ourselves semi-dressed, dress our beloved children, all the while the HUSBAND sleeps until the LAST-POSSIBLE-FREAKING-SECOND to get himself ready to go.
Then we are left STILL running around the house like crazy women trying to get everyone FINISHED and a BRA on ourselves with 2 matching shoes....all the while the husband just casually gets HIMSELF ready to go, ignoring all fighting and pleas of help.
Grrrr...why, exactly, are WE the weaker sex?
Well, I have laughed so hard at this post...man I needed that! Just a little FYI...my kids are 18 and almost 9 with a 47 year old husband...and our household is STILL like that every Sunday morning..Sunday night and Wed night....so take a deep breath :) ...you would think since both of my children CAN get themselves dressed and my husband can..what could possibly be the problem..well my youngest daughter wants to cloth herself in adorable ruffly dresses...which is GREAT..until she comes out of her room with about 52 bracelets, earrings, lip gloss and swiped her sisters mascara...which BTW doesn't come off too easily with 5 minutes before we are leaving..so it looks like I am taking her to a bar rather than church...Then the screaming between them starts...GET THIS we have 3 count them 3 FULL bathrooms and they want the same one...argue over who's brushing, drying their hair or using the mirror...Charlie IS ALWAYS the last one ready and if I have heard one time I have heard it a million times...'I have just been sitting here waiting on you'...SCREAM...so silence in the car..only a 5-6 minute drive and I hear...'what's the matter..you seemed stressed'? Then we walk into church and I hug and kiss everybody and appear to have that perfect family all the while ready to strangle each and every member of my family. ha
This, by far, is the funniest post I've read all week. I wonder why I was so amused? Hello, could it be our house? I think not, my husband does not have hair. =)
You totally nailed it! I could have written that....well, it wouldn't have been as wonderfully written, but I could have! LOL
Uh... I've never felt this way and have no idea what you are talking about.?... smerk... it is high time someone wrote about this phenomenom.
Sounds like a typical Sunday to me (less 2 kids, of course!) I love the drive to church when the hubby says "what's wrong?". Seriously?
I always vowed that ONE DAY I would get up at the crack of dawn, and get myself ready, and take myself to church. Nobody would notice, right? And it would be SOOOO relaxing! This describes just about every Sunday I've ever had!!
Oh oh! But my husband likes to go out to the car, honk the horn and say WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG FOR YOU TO GET READY??
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